Granted, but now you have to have broccoli in your mouth when you type.

 

I wish I wouldn't have voices telling me to clean my gun collection.

Granted, but now the voices are telling you to turn the guns on yourself.

 

I wish...that's just it: I wish. That's all I've got right now. I can't express the things I wish for, so we'll leave it at that. "I wish."

Granted, but whatever "it is" backfires in some obscene way, leaving you cursing the great and powerful Wish Master.

 

I wish my throat wasn't so sore...

Granted, but now you can´t stop visiting the bathroom.

 

I wish my feathers would have a much nicer colour, except of pink of course.

Granted, your feathers have been soothed and shined with baby oil but you can't fly.

 

I wish the burning would stop after peeing.

Granted, but you are no lacking something down there (hence, no peeing).

 

I wish they made a facial tissue that didn't scar...

Granted, but theres nothing left to scar.

 

I wish my 360 would be sent back fixed from Microsoft.

Granted, but all of your games for it are broken.

 

I wish I could Riverdance.

Granted, but you break your leg anytime you did somthing else.

 

I wish I had a pet Leprecon, that had a bowl of lucky charms.

Granted, but the Leprechaun would steal your Lucky Charms and eat your brain.

 

I wish they would make 7 movies for Stephen King's Dark Tower series...

Granted. But Uwe Boll directs all seven of them...

 

I wish I had a really good computer game to play right now...

Granted but you get a blue screen error.

 

I wish Uwe Boll was dead.

Granted, but now he's a zombie and eats your brains, kinda like the Leprecon.

 

I wish I had some mango flavored jellow.

Granted, but you will get stomache after that.

 

Talking about Uwe Boll (urrgh) let´s just wish that he will become a genius director now and all of his movies will be absolute alltime classic blockbusters. (Uhm, which will never happen of course. But I gotta try it at least. )

Granted, but he works with the scripts for SciFi Channel Original Movies.

 

I wish gas was cheaper...

Granted, but now all cars are diesel.

 

I wish people wouldn't always yell "YEAH TOAST!!!" When they're around me.

Granted. Now they yell out all your embaressing little secrets.

 

I wish... I wish.... I wish for Christina Ricci.

Granted. She arrives in hundreds of separate boxes.

 

I wish I had a TIE Defender.

Granted, but your friend stole it, and crashed it.

 

I wish peple wouldn't always yell out all my embaressing little secrets.

Granted, now they take out their energy by beating you into the ground with clubs that have all your embarrassing little secrets carved into them.

 

I wish that Star Wars Rebellion was a movie.

Granted, that it would be a documentary about a group of nerds that ass raped George Lucas after screwing up the originals.

 

I wish for some chicken nuggets and a diet coke.

Granted. The chicken nuggets are filled with anthrax.

 

I wish to make the next wish incorruptible.

Granted, but you get greedy and your next wish becomes extremely corrupted.

 

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow morning...

Granted, but you must go to work 24 hours a day for the rest of your life - which is really short after you go postal.

 

I wish I had a lollipop

Granted, but its a Dum Dum, so its gone in like 2 seconds...

 

I wish Hulk Hogan was my dad...