Granted, but its vomit-flavored ice cream with real worm chunks in every bite.

 

I wish that I was immortal like the highlander...

Granted, but you're trapped in space, doomed to drift forever without ever contacting anything.

 

I wish we had some cooler banners on this site.

Your wish was already granted when Evaders upgraded the site. Unfortunately, adds obscure parts of them.

 

Or did you mean Add banners?

 

 

 

I wish that I was immortal like the highlander...

(Tofu, you're supposed to say: Granted, but unfortunately there can be only one! *Cleaves Rob's head from shoulders* )

 

 

http://www.armchairempire.com/images/previews/pc/defcon/defcon-2.jpg

I wish I was more proficient at DEFCON.

in order for me to grant that i'd have to know wtf you're talking about, therefore the pigs have started to fly and a whole lot of other bad shit is going down

 

i wish i didnt have to babysit assholes anymore

Granted, now you have to baby sit the children of the "no touching policy" while being lectured by their moronic parents.

 

I wish for infinite knowledge

granted, but it requires a sacrifice from your 'danger zone.'

 

i wish i had a recording of the conversation in the car tonight

Granted, but the tape is used against you in court and you have to lose your thumbs.

 

I wish for a cologne that smelled like Dr. Pepper...

Granted but it would be hated by all the girls approaching.

 

I wish i had got up earlier today.

Granted but I pissed in your Cheerios.

 

I wish I had slept last night, can I have the last 8 hours back?

Granted, but you are now stuck in a loop (a la Groundhog Day) where you must continuously relieve those 8 hours over and over and over again!!!

 

I wish that beef tasted like chicken...

Granted but you catch H5N1.

 

I wish Jar Jar had never existed.

Granted, but the Gungan race is replaced with the Nagnug race, and Jar Jar is replaced by Raj Raj, who is twenty times more annoying, especially with his catchphrases "did I do that?" and "sup fools?".

 

I wish that I owned a TIE Interceptor...

Granted, but it's the Tie Interceptor from X-wing Alliance and fares poorly against X-wings.

 

I wish my sword wasn't broken.

Granted but it will break the next time you use it.

 

I wish my sound card's microphone post worked.

 

BTW what kinda sword do you have Def?

Granted that you've installed linux and are hereby exiled from Windows.

 

I wish my galaxy mates would call ourselves "Scruffy Looking Roid Herders" in planetarion.

granted but its also tattooed to your forehead

 

i wish i had some arbor mist instead of champagne

Granted, but it is the new vile flavor known as "Skunk Cabbage" (see skunk cabbage here)

 

I wish that my socks had fluffy pompoms on them...

Granted but the pompoms come along with a foot fungus.

 

I wish for a motorbike.

Granted but you're doing it wrong.

 

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/doing-it-wrong-bike.jpg

 

I wish for... a Genie in a magic lamp.

Granted, but you make these three wishes:

1. To be Jar Jar

2. To marry Hillary Clinton

3. To cheat on Hillary with Rosie O'Donnell

-Sucks to be you

 

I wish I had an Apple iPhone...

Granted but when you rub the lamp you cut your hand and catch tetanus.

 

I wish i had a Blockade Runner

Not as fast as Imperial Star Destroyers..

 

I wish I had an Ewok fur-hat resistant to other people's IPod's on the tube every morning

Granted, it was freshly scalped off an Ewok a AT-ST had stepped upon.

 

I wish Chris Benoit was around to read this thread.

Granted, but he tells his wrestling buddies about you and they all think that you're disrespecting him, so they show up and beat the crap out of you. (I only know who that guy is because my friend, who is way too into RAW (I still don't know what that stands for) had a news bulletin on about his having died.)

 

I wish my shoulder didn't hurt so bad.

Granted, I moved the creak in your shoulder to your neck.

 

I wish Reloaded would come on July 4th, 2047.