Lucky bastards that already own it Wooden nickles are a sort of currency that our orthodontists use. They give you 3 nickles every appointment, thus the jackass that didn't even have their braces on for a full year gets a gift certificate to Wendies, while the long-suffering three-year patient (Ah, me) get's something nice, like a $50 gift certificate to the local mall and, consequentially, the local electronics store. E.B., I'm cashin' in!