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DarthTofu

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  1. This world is nothing. A hive of scum and villany; nothing. So thought Karat Sal as he decended to the surface, not in one of the drop ships utalized by the other warriors, but in one of the vessels the infidels referred to as coralskippers. One month previously the planet had been conquered, its citizens slashed open and sacrificed to the gods in extravegant numbers, heedless of the fact that these sacrifices were unworthy cowards. Those worthy of sacrificial death were likely already dead, if those who utalized the infidels' weapons could ever be worthy of sacrifice in the first place. While the world was in all truth Nas Choka's, it was in fact a planet, and this place formerly known as Nar Shadda was Karat Sal's. He narrowed his eyes as he inspected the buildings there, at once satisfied and disgusted. The new mosses the shapers had brought were adapting very well to these durocrete skyscrapers- they had started to take root, and already one of the smaller buildings was nearly covered in a fuzzy, black-and-dark-green vegetation. The rest, however, stood strong. Some of the materials used in making these infrastructures, as the infidels called them, were resisting the growths. The material they called transparisteel was particularly resistant to currosion, and was only leaving the machine world as the false rock around it succummed to the corrosive effects of the moss. Other monstrosities abounded as well. Below, in the very streets of the still-being-refitted Hutt Palace that had once dominated this part of the city, a number of infidels in a disgusting array of what they claimed to be armor- more a sick immitation of Vondum Crab Armor, in Karat Sal's opinion- were fighting, shooting at anything and everything that moved, which sometimes included their own soldiers. Sal landed on the upper surface of the Hutt Palace and removed his cognition hood. He waited for the creature that encased him to unfold itself around him to open, then uncoiled his amphistaff. He applied firm preassure to the creature's spinal column, snapping it into its ridgid form. He twirled the beast experimentally before snapping it to a stop against his forearm in a manner reminescant of the mighty Shedao Shai. With that he leapt from the building- a full twenty meters to the next tier of the ruined Hutt Palace- and landed with a heavy thump. Argent torment traversed his legs upon his landings, and it felt as though he may well have managed to crack one of the three bones that traced through his calf. No matter. There were two more, and the pain brought him closer to the gods. He smiled. Closer to the gods could be percieved in one of two manners. The first was honorable fealty to the gods; sacrifice, the Embrace of Pain, a religious life and the like. The next was through death, the reunion with the gods. Regardless of the outcome of the coming duel, one group or the other would be facing the gods in a few moments. He dropped from his present tier to the next one down- this one a mere ten meters- and finally to the last one. His right leg burned in protest, but he merely embraced the pain. Were the pain not wanted by the gods, why would it exist? He frowned at his mental statement as he ducked behind a yorik coral barricade his troops were using, absentmindedly opening his bandolier of thud and razor bugs. Were it not wanted by the gods, why would it exist? Could the same not be said of the infidels, of their machines? Of the Jeedai that Warmaster Tsavong Lah so fervently hunted? Karat Sal shook his head once, hard, then lept above the barricade to throw a razor bug. It slashed through a fleshy receptor on the head of a lucky rodian before lodging itself in the left of a far-less-lucky Trandoshan. It made to exit its victem- who still spurted blood, thrashing in agony, and revealing parts of its brain- when a vibroblade stabbed through bug and mind, ending the actions of both. Karat Sal locked eyes with the human who had killed his companion and raised his amphistaff, bellowing out a cry of challenge. The human returned his bellow in the infidel tongue and charged, most likely because Karat Sal- like his oponents- bore no armor at the moment. Then, he did not need armor. Not for battles of such low calliber. Sal vaulted the barricade, purposely placing all weight on his injured leg when he fell. Both hands raised over his head, he charged the human. His opponent wielded his shorter infidel weapon in a low stance, far from his body, with the point of the blade describing the point of a right triangle encompassing his shoulders, naval, and weapon. The infidel never stood a chance. Before the human was even in range, Karat Sal's amphistaff was hissing for blood, and by the time they were both within their respective ranges the human's head was split down the middle- indeed, down to where his heart would be, had he a god-given heart in the center of his chest as the Yuuzhan Vong did. With a meaty thump! the creature fell, and with his death so came the scattering of the resistance. Most of the fighters fled, with a few honorable ones choosing a worthy fight to the death. Sal signaled to his warriors to stop their fighting, and advanced evenly to the center of where the fighting had been moments earlier. "Infidels!" he shouted. The infidels looked at him, but quizically. The word "infidel" was clearly not one within their vocabulary. He tried again. "Unworthy ones! We honor you by dishonoring ourselves! It has been long since I have fought a worthy opponent! I would face you in single, honorable combat to the death!" Their quizical looks continued. When the reazon for those looks came to Karat Sal it was like being bashed in the head by several thudbugs. The infidels did not speak the language of the gods, nor in some cases even the language of most of the infidels. They spoke a blasphemous tongue, one which the gods could never hear. A moment of clarity came to Sal, and he nodded. The gods could not understand these abominable creations, perhaps through some trick of Yun Harla, slicing their tongues and remoddeling them. It was not the gods' will that these creatures existed- they existed solely because the gods did not understand them, and would not deprive the Yuuzhan Vong of their great battles in taking the galaxy. When none of the infidels advanced, Karat Sal signalled his warriors to resume their attack. Ten of the twelve who had remained behind were felled in an instant, but two- including the Rodian Sal had wounded upon his entering the engagement- were still alive and firing. Between the two of them they even managed to fall one of Karat Sal's warriors, burning a hole in his Vondum Crab armor. Sal advanced on the two of them, weaving his way through their machine fire and dodging the weapons hurled by his own troops. With a latteral swing he seperated the unwounded fighter into two pieces in a roughly 1:2 ratio. The second, the Rodian, recieved a return swing for his face. The Rodian ducked the blow, however, and lost his other sensor node in the process upon finding that he was not quite quick enough. The Rodian raised his indidel blaster to fire at Sal's exposed midsection, but the Yuuzhan Vong warrior paid him no mind. He continued his slash, once more applying pressure to his amphistaff. The creature became pliant before striking the Rodian in the face upon its completion of a one hundred and eighty degree turn. Mortally wounded, the Rodian fell back in agony, dropping his blaster to free his hands as they desperately attempted to staunch the flow of blood from his ruined face. Sal left him there to die, before turning to his warriors to subject them to a long diatribe on their shortcomings in letting the enemy come this close to the new capital of the Hutt world. He would have done so as well, were it not for the sudden appearance of a large, flaming-red triangle ship in the sky. OOC: Yes, it is the Erant Venture. No, it will not play any important role in my bit beyond supplying weaponry to the resistance, as well as an old favorite character of mine. You'll have to wait to find out who that is, though. Hope anyone following this is enjoying it. BTW: I'm on the last four pages of The Unifying Force right now. Finally, I'm almost done with the series! Haha! All nineteen books, almost all of them in a row, in fact, though not in chronological order. Only ones I didn't reread were Vector Prime, Agents of Chaos I: Hero's Trial (Or rather, the last quarter of the book), Agents of Chaos II: Jedi Eclipse, and Balance Point. Didn't read Prime or Balance Point because they both suck hair wookie balls, didn't read the Agents of Chaos duology because I got the books I hadn't read before I finished with 'em.
  2. This reminds me of everyone else's situation.
  3. Laugh now, Tofu, but in less than five days, I too will be enjoying the sun. Hell, I may just come and pelt you with lawn darts--err, I mean... ...no I don't. Phew! Good thing I'm heading off to California for Spring Break to go snow boarding... Have fun tracking me!
  4. *Comes in from sun bathing* Hmm... Lot's of snow... Sucks to be all of you. *Grabs the sunscreen and heads out again*
  5. Res luk r'auf. Uh, Rob? Don't you know that when you leave out the accent mark on the "s" in "Res" it turns into an insult? It should read: Res' luk r'auf. Nonsensical BEAK!
  6. Wow... I just build up a ship world or two in the rim, give the ship worlds/construction worlds/ troop worlds their own defensive fleets, and then rush off to conquer the galaxy, leaving no defense fleets in any conquered areas. It's nice that the AI is really that stupid.
  7. Kind of ironic, considering that they chose to do that on your birthday...
  8. I tried to buy the game, but I only had about a quarter of the price... The guy at the store gave me Half Life instead... (Rim shot, please)
  9. Ah, but you must always remember their capacity for mischief- who can forget Pandadora's box? (I like puns, even if they do make Tex shoot me in the comic)
  10. The stormtrooper birds and the bees. Young trooper: Superior officer, where to babies come from? Older trooper: When the Emperor loves a clone very much... He takes a DNA sample, sticks it in a vat, and matures it in a couple of months until it's ready to run off, fight, and die. Young trooper: So this little dangly thing is.... Older trooper: Useless. Incoming Rebels. You're with me. And by 'with me' I mean 'you're my meat shield.'
  11. What? Your car hasn´t any repulsors? What an oldtimer. 'Tis a 1992 Geo Prism. I may post pics of it on Monday with the new "bling" (AKA Steering wheel cover and seat covers) on it, just for the purpose of saying "Look at my wonderful ancient car!" primarily because I like to use the words "my" and "car" to refer to an automobile which is in my posession.
  12. More deaths... Another friend, another mother, still death... I'm so sorry, Paul. There's no way this can be easy in any way, shape, or form for you, but keep strong. When all else fails, you will always have the friends you gained on this site. Always.
  13. Very nicely done... Poor thing. Here's something random: I can now legally drive! Bwahaha! I got my license today! *Dances a funky jig* I'd drive over to Europe to celebrate, but unfortunately my car doesn't have submersible/flying/Jesus -style abilities. Edit: Hmm.... Is my avatar too big?
  14. The Krytos virus It's edumacational! (I added the "ma" on purpose, BEAKers...)
  15. Eh, we all consider you to be someone of consequence, GAT... Unless it's like the Dread Pirate Roberts in The Princess Bride. Then you can be extremely consequential person who introduces himself as no one of consequence. @Tex: Born on Pi Day? w00t! Great day to be born on! In all reality, I think we all have a porn star or two born on our birthdays, just most of us don't know about it...
  16. This is so stupid... and yet, so awesome.... So, things that I like about it: The SSD is HUGE! You can sacrifice your space station to take out several freightors and fighters and the like if you have no defense fleets. The ground-based combat and the build sites. You can effectively hold a planet using nothing but the indigenous people. Things I don't like: How stupid the AI is when it commands your forces (Going against a Correllian Corvette with a massive fleet and I lose two ships. What gives?) The constant assaults on your systems if you don't leave a fleet above them- it gets rather annoying after a while. The Zann Consortium in general... Haven't played as them much, but they're rather annoying. The general speed with which forces move- what happened to the several-day-long transits and the figure-it-out-with-math-assimilate-a-huge-fleet-all-in-one-location-from-the- far-corners-of-the-galaxy methods of Rebellion? You can't tell what the attacking or defending forces of the other faction consist of. Annoys that crap out of me when I thought I was facing maybe a squad of speeders and wind up losing the planet to ten thousand soldiers. All in all, though, the game has enough stuff that I like but didn't mention to keep me very happy... As soon as I finish conquering the galaxy I plan to challenge a friend who bought the game at about the same time as me.
  17. On this day in history... Hey! They left out the birth of a certain annoying spammer in 1991! Ah, well! I'm sixteen now. I can legally drive... Just as soon as I get around to swinging by the DMV with about twelve differant forms of ID to say that I'm me and not someone pretending to be me.
  18. Okay, so now that I've bought both of the games it turns out that my initial assumption was indeed correct- if you instal EaW you can then just play FoC on the FoC disk, but you can't play under the EaW software on teh intraweb. Haven't tried it out yet beyond the first tutorial (Which I discovered I'd already done in the demo, but why not?) but I hope to get some more play time in come Monday or so.
  19. @Turtle: Actually a friend gave me the link. I felt the urge to burden everyone else with its contents.
  20. You would think that with LucasArts investing so much money in the technology for this the game would also spawn a "glove" controller for the force? That'd be some awesome gusto. The isssue with that is that using a force power would require a movement of the hand which wouldn't accidentally occur- say, curving your hand as though around a neck- that hand motion can naturally occur if you have to pick anything up, such as a game controller. Force motions would be unnatural, and ultimately frustrate fans. That's my two bits, anyway.
  21. Great conversation between myself and an overly-conservative kid at our school who shall remain nameless! Kid: We need to eliminate the Democratic Part! Me: Why on Earth do we need to do that? Kid: They take votes away from the good, conservative Republicans and keep them out of power! We need the Republican Party to be the dominant, unchallenged power, or else you and the rest of those crazy liberals will lead us straight to Communism! Me: Erm- do you even realize the implications of having only one, uncontested political party? I'd like to say that I come as close to center as I can, but truth be told I lean farther left than I think can get anything done. I'm a bit like Jolee Bindo (sp?) from KOTOR I- both extremes annoy me, and I try to live by my own morals and the like... But I still wind up on the light side of the Force.
  22. Well, I know someone who claims to suffer from Teratophilia.... He claims that it's making him fat.
  23. First of all: The word is spelled "grammar. Second of all: I do believe you meant spelling. I could have written it out in Latin, but I really didn't feel like digging out the sheet on it. Too much work.
  24. Damn... Ah well, I have $75 in Christmas money to spend- I suppose I'll buy "Best of PC" like my friend did since it's the same price as EaW, then I'll just get the one copy of Forces of Corruption.
  25. (Just to be safe) Not suitable for younger viewers. Enjoy. You are now most likely scarred for life by some stange new fetish you discovered that you never knew, much less wanted to know, existed.

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