Jahled

spooky....say, my company does a lot of work for the Reuters News Agency, and we've had a job in this afternoon hauling boxes of 'Reuters Emergancy bags,' off to the gulf. They're full of chemical/ biological suits for their journalists. I went over to ITN myself to help the van driver load them. Seeing them for real sort of brought home the reality of the world at the moment...

'I have returned to my rock! ' 'Why are my guards floating away?'

...you read my mind UntimelyDemise....There was an air of anticipation in the Snowdrop’s main hanger. Despite the new edicts being transmitted from Imperial Center, the Empire’s capacity for military splendor had not been diminished. Rank upon rank of Stormtroopers stood in faultless precision, their pink tutus in perfect alignment. Further along the hanger row upon row of black-clad Imperial gunners stood, and then the myriad officers who commanded the Snowdrop. Quartermasters still wandered up and down the perfect lines, occasionally ordering a crewmember to shuffle half a foot or raise a chin. Commander Jahled stood with his senior officers at the back of the hall in dignified silence, calmly awaiting the arrival of the shuttle. It had been a while since he had had the knelt before a superior figure; so long had the current campaign against the insurgents in the Sluis sector been going on. He detected faint signs of nervousness in some of figures with him. The_Mask seemed particularly on edge as he gave his Commander a passing glance. ‘Don’t you ever take that thing off?’ Jahled whispered with a wry smile. Jahled sensed a smile from behind The-Mask’s mask. ‘I never asked if you’ve ever stood before Vader, Mask.’ ‘Once on Coruscant, Sir. It was at an award ceremony for the commanders of the Corellian campaign. He didn’t say much though.’ ‘I think it’s something to do with his throat, you’ve heard how he breaths.’ Whispered Captain ElvisMigel, stood the other side of Commander Jahled. As the Imperial commanders chatted silently amongst them selves, a Lambada-class shuttle silently swung into view and neared the hanger. A shrill siren rang out. ‘…Yea, he just kind of sat there, it was really weird; I mean we’re all eating and drinking the Emperor’s health, and Vader’s just sitting there, sort of …just breathing!’ ‘Mask! Our moment has arrived!’ Jahled added, as the shuttle descended into the hanger. It came to a halt and unleashed billowing gusts of steam, as if at a last drawing a lung of air. A technical crew approached and began their inspection of the shuttle. The commanders began to approach, passing their motionless officers and soldiers. ‘I won’t invite him to supper then!’ The_Mask whispered. The officers smiled as they stopped and lowered themselves onto one knee. ‘How the heck does he eat?’ He added. ‘Privately!’ Jahled chuckled. There was a sudden hiss as the ramp began to lower. Fresh blasts of steam blasted out in thick curls of gaseous vapor. The Imperial commanders waited expectantly, their eyes beginning to water as they struggled to fight back laughter. ‘And with a straw!’ ElvisMigel whispered, the words trembling as he started biting his lip. Then, the Dark Lord of the Sith strode fearlessly down the ramp, resonating with confidence, authority, and unbridled power. Commander Jahled new something was not quite right when the Dark Lord’s boots came into view. He looked up in astonishment as Darth Vader came to a halt before him. Beside him The-Mask broke down uncontrollably, howling with laughter. ElvisMigel could contain himself no more; his sniggering melting into delirium. Jahled stood up slowly and stood to greet the Dark Lord. Beside him Haj Legrand stood open-mouthed, Jahled struggled to keep his composure. ‘It wasn’t my idea!’ Darth Vader boomed. Jahled could feel his stomach tighten as a tear began to form in his eye. Darth Vader stood completely dressed in pink from head to toe.

You get the Death Star under construction DLL when ever your fleet arrives at a system where the Empire is building one, obviously opposite the planetry image...

I've just received a priority transmission from Coruscant. The Imperial emblem is to be replaced by a daisy.

Well actually: http://www.boners.com/grub/788919.html

I was only being silly.

Further Complexities...eeek! Jahled gazed in silence from the forward view port on the deck of the Imperial Star Destroyer, Snowdrop; perplexed, and somehow uneasy at his latest battle orders. He gazed into the infinitude of space, seeking nothing with his eyes, and yet focusing on an unyielding stream of ripples amongst the tidal waves of eternity. He turned slowly to the ensign who emerged at his side with a polished silver tray that bore a single decanter of Balmorran seriously hard-core vintage whisky. He gave a halfhearted glance of acknowledgement and nodded at the ensign, who abruptly saluted and departed. Staring without focus into the meadow of eternity, the Commander drank hard on the golden-veil of liquid, pausing to feel the flame erupt in his throat and stomach and observing the tranquility of its dissipation in the pursuing moments. He found himself focusing on his reflection, and those of the attentive glances of his officers from their stations, eyeing his back nervously, as if expecting some sudden command. Haj Legrand, the Commander’s number two, emerged as if a shadow at his side. He spoke softly; ‘The Stormtrooper amendments are in place, Sir.’ And withdrew from the Commander’s ear. ‘I’m a little uncertain about this, Haj, I’m not entirely certain this aspect of the new plan will work at ground level.’ The commander turned to his first-officer, to the extent Captain Legrand could smell the Bamorran Vintage on his breath. ‘How are the Stormtroopers taking this, Haj? What’s the morale from the ground?’ Haj was as laconic as ever, which always amused the Commander; ‘Obedient as ever! They’re bloody clones sir,’ he added with a grin. ‘Emm…’ The commander rubbed his cleanly shaved chin. ‘We’re sure the ISD renaming project was responsible for the rebel-fleet’s destruction over Danuta?’ Haj retorted immediately, typically speaking as gruff as a dune-sea sandstorm; ‘The scum are silenced…sir!’ He moved to a bridge consol, unseating a startled officer. A wry smile began to emerge on his face. ‘Commander!’ He growled, ‘The invasion force!’ Commander Jahled looked over the shoulder of his first officer and gazed at the images of the thousands of Stormtoopers in the Snowdrop’s main hanger, boarding assault transports and other assault craft. ‘They don’t mind the Tutus over their Armour?’ Jahled said softly.

Point taken! It's hard to ignore serious developments like British Cops being murdered by terrorists during anti-terrorist raids this side of the pond. We live in dangerous times, brother.

....none of you seem to have picked-up on my solar-powered flashlight pun....

He's 7, I know it's an odd ambition for a seven year old, I tried to talk him out of it and suggested he has a more realistic ambition in life like an astronaught or secret agent, than an authentic Japanese Sword-maker, but the poor kid just wouldn't listen! Me and a few others here clubbed together and got him on a flight to Tibet, to do things like sit ontop of a mountain in unbroken solitude untill a single green rose-petal lands on his left ear...so he understands the way...but no word how he's doing, poor kid....

No it wont. His got to put it in a river and see if it avoids the fallen leaves and other spiritual-bonding crap like that.

Commander Jahled lent forward and peered over the shoulder of the young ensign, puzzled at the information flickering on the console. 'What an earth is going on, why arn't they engaging?' The young ensign had already gone through the data four times, unable to understand the stream of tactical data flushed across his monitor. He refocused on the reflection of his puzzled Commander. 'I simply don't know, sir, I was never trained for such an occurance!' As Commander Jahled brooded silently in the forward pit, his number two, Haj Legrand came to a hault above him. His gruff voice resonated with decades of experiance and authority; 'Commander! Scanning teams have indicated strange activity on the forward rebel ships.' Commander looked up, straightening his regal bearing. He flashed his eyes at his number-two. 'Go on Haj, we've fought so many battles together, I hadn't expected any new surpises from those rebel-scum.' He began walking from the pit, passing his baffled officers. 'But I think I may have the answer! He smiled; 'Yes, I think our friends in Imperial Intelligence may have hit it squarely on the head this time.' He turned abruptly to an attentive officer, 'Relay a priority message to all commands, message to read as follows...' The commander seemed startled as his orders were interupted by a young sensors officer, 'Sir! Sir! We've got recordings from the bridge of the rebel Mon Calamari Cruiser Independance!' 'Play it!' Commander Jahled shouted. The Bridge of the Star Destroyer quietened. First crackles, than the audio recording murmered into life. The Imperial crew stood, or sat, stunned. It was nothing like they had ever expected to hear. Laughter. Uncontrollable delerious laughter. The rebels were crying with laughter! The Commander turned to his number two and smiled. His bridge deafened by the sound of the Independance's bridge crew in uncontrollable laughter. 'Prepare to open all forward batteries on my countdown, Captain.' He added quietly, 'Isard's people really got it right this time, Haj, telling us to rename the Stormbringer the Snowdrop.

One death is a disaster, a million is just a statistic....

OK EVERYONE CALM DOWN....it's ok, i've got my solar-powered flashlight, we'll have visibilty in seconds.....

Damn it! All this scorn...everyone hates me...

Commander Jahled cleared his throat; 'Gentlemen, I would like to thank you for attending at such short notice, but as you may be aware the Emperor has asked us to address a serious problem with the Empire's capital-ships.' The commander lent forward and pressed something hidden from the view of the gathered fleet commanders. From the centre of the polished black surface of the round table a hologram of a Star Destroyer flickered to life; rotating slowly, and quite obscuring Captain Haj Legrande's attentive figure opposute the Commander. 'This is the Imperial Star Destroyer, KKT-6345-DLT, one month away from completion at the ship yards at Fondor.' Jahled smiled, 'awesome arn't they!' He got up and began to walk slowly around the assembled commanders. Suddenly he struck the table with his fist; 'God dam it gentlemen! The Emperor is fed up with us calling his battleships ' Ninjapower! Wicket! And The Pizzahut! We're Imperial Fleet Commanders, we're responsible for maintaining order in the galaxy! We're not exactly going to inspire fear in the hearts of the agents of chaos by commanding Star Destroyers called 'Ewok!' ...I think I made a point...somewhere....

How else did you think we die?...mumble..grumble...students, honestly...

(rubs hands, chuckles sinisterly....)

Hay guys, don't concern yourself with side issues like finding time to eat and sleep! Everyone knows sleep gives you cancer anyway! Anyway i've got the solution right here in my ofice. It's called a 'lazy boy,' and it's basically a leather armchair-and I kid you not-it has a built in mini-fridge built into the left arm rest, and a built in telephone under the right arm rest! The perfect gamer's accessory! The only reason to leave the PC is to visit 'the little boy's room.' From your PC you'll be able to drink cold beer/coke/whatever, dial pizzas, dial girlfriends to get the pizzas when they're at the front-door...and it's comfortable enough to 'rest one's eyes,' for five minutes....heaven.... Some fool thinks we going to deliver this up in Edinburgh....we're discussing how it 'got lost' during transit....

The implications of what you said have just occured to me! If you blow up Coruscant there's nothing for the rebels to capture, as far as the winning conditions are concerned. Does this mean they can never win the game?

Gentlemen, here's a useful link: http://pub58.ezboard.com/fstarwarsshipsfrm2.showMessage?topicID=4.topic this one's even better: http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/starwarsroleplaying/impships.html and this is the most complete i've seen: http://www1.theforce.net/cuswe/

No, he obviously used a Carrack-class cruiser....

Avenger? Good god man, it's IMPERIAL, and beside the Executor, about the only Imperial ship named in the original triliogy! But heck, I didn't want to sound like I was being pompus....if your content to have fleets comprised of Ninjapower, Wicket, or Pizzahut; heck, it's your game, and subsequently your galaxy.... to enjoy as you like!

Ok, fair and obvious point. (lights a camel, inhales deeply, and contemplates as smoke disperses over monitor). I think we've stumbled onto ground one of the expanded universe books delt with briefly, with Mon Mothma objecting to alliance tactics concerning assassination...can't remember which one though.... And upon smoking half of this fag, i'm stumped to come up with a reasonable answer. I guess one theory might be that the Alliance would bring Imperial personnel to a court of law; and by bringing them to justice demonstrate to the wider Galaxy, their's is a more noble cause, above and beyond the baseness of execution in civilised community. Is not detaining someone to confront the shadows of their crimes more a punishment than the infintessimally-brief moment of their execution? Vengeance is little more than desperation. When you're trying to win the hearts and minds of the galactic-community, assassination goes down badly on the holonet. It would also give the Empire a golden-hand: public understanding and support for further military presance. No, it served the Alliance cause far more to publicly trial Imperial-personnel for their crimes against the galactic community, thereby humiliating the Imperial New-Order's so called neccessity for taxes for legions of Stormtroopers, Star Destroyers, and Death Stars. Sort of thing...