DarthTofu

It's been forty years since Yavin, and the Vong are a rather strong new memory. A whole new generation that pretty much grew up under freedom is holding onto the galaxy, now- by a combination of not remembering the Empire and not having actually experienced it, they're willing to let it come back. Titch, from Betrayal, is a prime example of this.

Praetorian Cohorts, Samuris, and pissed off wives of knights all had swords, but somehow I find the former two cooler than the last one. I'm not saying that you shouldn't like the Royal Guards, I'm just asking why you would.

Thanks a lot, kid. Way to fail at quoting, Mitth. And you're welcome. I'm confused- is she Catholic or atheist? She seems to be the queen of ambiguity in her Facebook group-joining habits. By the way- if you want to really piss her off, just use my slang for abortions: (Warning: This is offensive if you're one of those people who takes offense) Vagina Smoothies.

Useless? Not at all, Rob! Send them all to me and I'll tell you all about how much fun they are! Speaking of which, the same friend that loaned me Civ IV got his hands on Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight. I used cheat codes and just watched all of the cutscenes (which I'd already viewed on YouTube) after I took out some agression on a few stormies with a lightsaber and some Force powers. How the heck are you supposed to kill Jerek (sp?)? Even standing there hitting him, like, 2000 times, he didn't friggin' die!

Red Guard? As in, the Emperor's Guard Red Guard? Why them?

What do you do for a living, BS? I always sort of assumed that you were a bum on the side of the street that occasionally burst into an Internet cafe/broke into an office building late at night when you wanted to post.

With Fett I feel like that was more because only his father was ever a "close" relation. He never had anyone in a remotely similar position to his father, and few were willing to help him. Tahiri, though- she had the Solos and Skywalkers to help her through it. Eh. Moot point, I guess. So far as Jacen goes, I totally agree that he's migrated from his original goal- but I can see his logic in getting where he is. The old Empire was actually not all that bad from his perspective... Just a tad cruel.

Just saw Boondock Saints through from beginning to end, without censorship, for the first time. Great movie, that- I'd seen it on TV once a long time ago, and I thought it was pretty good. The swearing is pretty dang thick throughout the movie, but it's one of the best shoot-em-up movies of all time. William Defue (sp?) is truly spectacular in that movie. "So what's the symbology of that?" "Symbology? I believe the word you're looking for is sssssssssymbolism!" "Greenly- bagel. Cream cheese." Great lines, though the all-time best is, of course: "And shepherds shall we be, for the my lord for thee. Power hath descended forth from thine hand so our feet might swiftly carry out thine command. We shall flow a river forth to thee, and teaming with souls shall it ever be. De nomine parti et filii et spiritus ante."

I can stand to be away from the Internet for long periods of time. Very nice, Scath. My cell is old- too old for me to get internet service on it. The sad part is that the model's only just turned four. Cell phone technology moves too quickly.

My opinion (highlight) I have to agree with SOCL for once- I was disappointed by the lack of any real point to the Mandalorians in this one. They show up and storm Bloodfin. Whoopie. Much as I hated Vector Prime, it at least made Chewie's death tragic. It focused on it for a lot longer, and it didn't foreshadow it as blatantly as this one did (Pallaeon watching his own funeral procession practicing- come on! The whole thing with the Bloodfins was overdone, too. I didn't care for it at all. All-in-all this is one of the worst in the series. I really think that from Inferno on out it's been sort of a bust. Fury was decent, but it dragged at times, and Zekk or Jag really ought to have died to make Jaina that much more focused on getting her brother. I still rank Inferno as the worst book in the series, but this one is a close next-to-last. Then again, I still have twenty-five pages to go. Maybe it'll get better when I get through those last twenty-five pages. I hope so, but I doubt it- I'm really sick of the whole "Oh, my, we don't know for sure whether or not Jacen killed Mara!" plot line. The one big redeemer that Traviss had for this one was her use of Jacen. The other two authors have been making him out to be a cruel madman who enjoys harming others. Traviss has made him what he's supposed to be- a man who can understand every last bit of what he's doing, and who thinks that it's the only way for him to bring order to the galaxy. Now if Allana and Tenel Ka will just come into play some more in the next one... eh, I dunno. So, who thinks Danni might be coming back with Zonoma Sekot and the Vong? Okay, those spoilers done, here's an overall question: What the hell was the deal with Tahiri being obsessed with Anakin still? Yes, he died and she loved him, but this was like twelve years ago! She ought to have moved on by now! She's a grown woman in her late twenties- it makes no sense that she'd still care so much about a dead kid from over a decade ago! In fact, it's creepy that she would care that much.

Oh, God, not the Badgers and Mushrooms again- that thing's, like, ten years old! Mad: How much longer do you think your liver is going to hold out? You drank (about) three liters of booze in one night- that can not be good for it! Oh, and congratulations on your victory.

I tried Civ IV yesterday, and I must say, I love it. When I say I "tried" it, I mean I started "testing" at 3:45 PM and ended the "testing" at around ten o'clock at night. Awesome game.

I just got a copy of Civ IV from a friend. We'll see if it's any good when it finished installing on the PC...

This is not episode two. But it's the next best thing. Sort of. Kind of. Not really. Watch at your own risk of sanity.

I think the basic plot will feature hunting down Jedi who survived Order 66. You'll kill them, then you'll kill the Stormies who helped you out, because nobody is supposed to know that you exist. There's also a love interest in a character, Juno Eclipse. I'm willing to bet that you'll be told to kill her at some point and either be "true to the light side," running away with her, or "true to the dark side," going ahead and killing her.

Who is your favorite Star Wars character? This includes EU, OT, Prequals (If you choose someone who is only in the prequals I may have to snap your neck), and video game characters. If you want to, go ahead and make a list of favorites. Mine are (in no particular order): Wedge Antilles Garrick "Face" Lorran Ton Phannon (TON!) (the concept of) Thrawn Darth Vader Jacen Solo/Darth Caedus Vergere Kyle Katarn I'd have opened this up to vote, but I've a feeling that we'd have more characters than could fit into twelve options, and more than one favorite.

HeH. My feeling on thAt man are raTher wEll known... I like the odd trilogy as much as the next guy, though- a bit of a carefree, non main-character focused jaunt in the EU would certainly be nice. I like the idea of expanding the character repetuars a bit more by having some more almost entirely EU-based novels, like the X-wing books. Well, that and I also liked the old styles of looking at enemies from economic standpoints and the like. The fights against Zsinj and Isard were certainly interesting, and they wound up adding to the EU in terms of reused characters. (Wedge, Corran, Face, the Wraiths and Rogues in general, Wes Janson)

Is... is it working? Can I spam- er, post- again? Can I really?!

That thing looks way too realistic. I demand that you lose some skill at photoshop, J- I keep thinking that these are actual pics of strange creatures!

Okay, so apparently "And We Would be Nameless" didn't come through. If anyone wants to read it I'll post it up in full. For now, here's something else- my new story Powerless The old man was relentless, and so he refused to stay out of my life. I remember when I thought I’d removed him from it; I did it myself, personally, shrinking my small handful of political rivals to a fraction of what they had been. I remember when he returned. He was waiting for me when I walked into my home, lounging in my favorite easy chair and looking disorientingly content. “This is an excellent chair,” he said, indicating the plush leather cushion he sat on. “I must say, I approve of how you’re spending my old salary.” He smiled far too easily for my comfort. “You can’t be here. It’s impossible.” I dismissed the old man and walked forward, leaving him behind me. I could feel his blue eyes on my back as I walked the length of my tiny living room. “Impossible? Nothing’s impossible. I told myself that you would never become what you are today, and look at how wrong I was, there. You shattered all of my predictions!” “You aren’t real.” I hung my coat up on the stand and slipped off my dress shoes. “You’re a side effect to one of my pills.” The old man snorted. “A side effect of pills? You sound like Ebenezer Scrooge. ‘There’s more gravy than grave about you!’ I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m more pain-in-the-ass than aspirin.” Despite myself I laughed at the stupid joke. I bent down to my liquor cabinet, pulling out a crystal decanter of Sherry with one hand and a matching pair of glasses with the other. I waggled the bottle in the direction of the old man. “So long as I’m hallucinating that you’re around I may as well give you some friends. Can I tempt you?” The old man’s good humor vanished all at once. “You never could in the past, why do you think that you can now?” I sighed in slight vexation and replaced once of the glasses. “I’ll take that as a ‘no,’ then.” “Correct. You shouldn’t be drinking, either. A Congressman who is drunk in D.C. is not a Congressman who can expect to see reelection, John.” I smiled, adopting the good humor the old man had dispensed with as I finished pouring the Sherry. “It’s eleven thirty at night. I think I’m entitled to a nightcap after a hard day’s work, don’t you?” The old man shook his head, as though in disbelief. “It doesn’t really matter what I think to you, does it? It never did. If you’d cared more about my opinion I’d be wearing a far nicer shirt than this one,” he said, indicating the large dark stain that covered his gut. I winced, remembering all to well how that blot had gotten there. I replaced the stopper in the Sherry bottle and changed the subject. “I got rid of you. How and why are you back?” The old man didn’t answer right away. He just leaned back in my chair, his face twitching with what I mistook for pain. He burst into laughter a moment later. “‘Got rid of me?’” he repeated incredulously. “At least use an appropriate euphemism for it, son! You didn’t get rid of me- let’s go ahead and say that you ‘terminated my political career with extreme prejudice.’” “I did what I had to do.” I closed my eyes and took a long drink from my Sherry glass, willing the old man away. When I dared to look again he was still in my chair, regarding me curiously. Silence hung between us for a few long moments. “I must say,” the old man began slowly. “you’re taking my return a lot better than I’d have expected. Lesser men would be running for the door as soon as they saw me.” “I’m not afraid of you because I know that you’re not real,” I replied, closing my eyes once more and settling down into the small couch that occupied the wall opposite my chair. “You can’t be back- that’s that, end of story.” My chair creaked as the old man rose from it. “The story just ends with you removing me? Now that can’t be right. I thought that the whole reason you got rid of me was so that the story could go on. I was in the way of the next chapter. You couldn’t have me in the way, could you? Tell me, how are those policies that I opposed being received? The ones that couldn’t get out of committee while I was still around to fight them?” “Quite well, actually,” I said without opening my eyes. “The Senate as a whole has voted to approve the vast majority of them. I’m well on my way to becoming the next President of the United States. Eight more years of experience and I’ll be on the ticket.” “Popular…” he mused. “You’re very popular. Then again, so were some of our nation’s worst leaders- Jackson, Grant, Harding- I can’t help but think that you’ll repeat their poor historical examples.” I laughed derisively. “What, you’re accusing me of being too popular? You don’t know what you’re talking about- I did the world a favor getting you out of the Senate!” “Did you do me a favor when you took me out of there?” The lines in his craggy old face seemed to deepen with self-pity. “I’m supposed to feel guilty about what I did?” He indicated once more his gut. “You are. You could have at least saved your mother the pain of seeing me go.” Hot anger boiled up inside me. “How dare you? How dare you bring her into this? The woman has suffered enough!” The old man nodded sagely. “First her husband, then her son. She lost both of the men in her life.” I glared at what remained of the man in my chair and willed him away. He didn’t budge. I glared at the stain on his gut, the brownish dried blood from a pistol shot three years ago. I concentrated on the all of the hatred I’d harbored for my father so long ago and tried to use it to remove him from the world a second time. He set a gentle hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. “John, I watched you grow up into a man I never wanted you to be. I watched you become colder and crueler with each passing day. And do you know what? I was willing to let it go, because I knew that your mother and I had raised you better than this. We hadn’t raised a man who would do anything but what he thought was best for the world. “Then I watched you turn to patricide in the interests of your ambition. I watched you do more after that- terrible, awful things. And I realized that I was the only one who’d ever seen it. So far as the investigation was concerned, you were the ideal Congressman. There was no way you could have killed me- it was impossible. To suggest that you had been involved at all was a grievous insult.” I looked my father in the eye and smiled with malicious humor. “You can’t stop me. All you are is a hallucination, or a ghost- whatever you are, only I can see and hear you.” “True. I’m powerless to stop you. But you’re powerless to make me go away.” My smile slackened. “So what happens now? I continue on to become the next President of the United States of America and you show up to chastise me for doing what’s best for the world?” “If you continue on your destructive path, then I stay. If you’re willing to turn away from it, then I leave. I’m not here to prevent you from doing what’s right, John. I’m here to stop you from doing what doesn’t ultimately aid anyone. Everything that you’ve done looks grand on the surface, but in the end you’re dooming most of the world for the good of just a few- a few that happens to include you.” “You can’t stop me, Dad.” “And you can’t make me go away, Son. Tell me, how many times will your dead father have to remind you that you killed him before you know what guilt is? How many more people do you have to kill under the pretense of helping them?” “There will always be a price too high when it comes to assassination, and I won’t go past it.” “But where is the price, John?” The old man was crying, now. “Your father certainly didn’t exceed it- who would?” A long, steady silence stuck between the dead man and myself. “I won’t relent,” I announced. “I’m going to keep pushing. I’m going to be President. And you’re powerless to stop it.” My father nodded. “Then I’m not going to leave. I can’t stop you, but you can’t stop me. Who’s really powerless?”

*Blows off dust* And now a really painful physics joke! If you don't know your units, I suggest that you look them up, or else you'll feel foolish. Work, Power, and Energy are walking along when suddenly a masked assailant leaps out and attacks Energy. He runs off a moment later, but all three fall to the ground in agony. "Hey!" yells Energy. "Why are you two crying? I'm the one he hit!" "Are you kidding?" Power shoots back. "We just got kicked in the Joules!"

Vonnegut is a pretty awesome author. I wish I could give you some return feedback. I've got a short story that I wrote that I'm going to post in the Random Creative Writings thread- you can see if I'm Vonnegut-esque after reading it.

Here's a slightly safe one: http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a169/DarthTofu/omelet.jpg ... Okay, so it's still offensive, but not nearly as much as the other one. This one only uses photo shop.

To be perfectly honest, I'm willing to let this one die. It was kinda fun, but it was ultimately a rather dumb story. Feel free to continue it with my character if you'd like- I might jump in and write a tad if I feel inspired- but by and large I'll limit myself to playing about in the Retaliators thread.

Happy (late) birthday, mate. Don't get too drunk in one night.