SOCL

Excellent! Remember that file I sent you with all the Imperial ranks with like a paragraph of explanations for each? It was a Word document. Well, could you...wait, no, actually, don't send it. My new computer doesn't have Word...yet. Which reminds me....

Yes, the biggest problem in timelines has been the Zahn/Lucas situation where LucasFilm didn't give Zahn an specs on the timeline and so Zahn made it up, just to have Lucas change/mess things up with the prequels. One way or another, the grand admiral rank did not exist until the Galactic Empire was formed (not even during the time of the late Old Republic), just like the rank of grand admiral didn't exist in Germany until the Nazi Imperium. Which brings me to another point: If one wished to find a real-life comparison to the Galactic Empire's ranks, then it would most closely have to be those of Nazi Germany. I think I wrote that sentence with incorrect grammar (like this one), but I think I got my point across...right?...

Okay, okay, I'll get right to it.

You're thinking about emigrating, SOCL? Well, actually...yes.

I was about to ask where wormie was. Does he still have the Colonel Sanders avatar?

The Grand Imperator of BEAK, long since overthrown in a coup by his own army of action figures and now retitled the Not-So-Grand Imperator of BEAK or the Mediocre Imperator of BEAK, sat silent, looking out over his land. Much of it was still scared by the last battle his forces had had with Zoot when the attack of cappucino and latte had burned the grass and shrubs his imperium was well-known for. Making no sense, the grand--err...not-so-grand imperator decided to retire to the point of this post.... SOCL jabbed the communications button on his desk. A voice responded in a British accent, "Hallo?" "Hello, is your refrigerator running?" "Umm...let me check," the man responded, leaving the communication in silence. "Yes," he said returning, "it is." "Than you better go out and--" "SOCL! Stop these idiotic prank communications!" the man--Jahled--shouted. SOCL made his voice deep, trying to conceal his identity, but in all actuallity making the situation worse. "This is not SOCL, this is...someone else...who is not SOCL. This Saul--I mean Es-aye-you-el (SAUL)." Jahled hesitated for a second, then sighed. "Right-o," and he cut the communication. SOCL once again sat in silence. "Damned," he grumbled as suddenly it struck him... He had observed that during his own absence from SWR, many others had become MIA (missing in action) and had returned at about the same time he had... This had occured, interestingly enough, after the final battle of the Second Zoot War... This made the not-so-grand imperator wonder further...why did these events seem to conincide so perfectly. Then it struck him like a ton of bricks, only less weighty. ZOOT! Of course, that damned feline had taken many of the SWR members into his evil Labs of Evil (in Jahled's basement, though none of us know this) and had, obviously, brainwashed them! Antilliles, Elvis (the Emperor), Elvis (the King), Chelvis (Elvis the King's dog), Untimely, and maybe even wormie (by the way, where is wormie?)! Was he, then--err...now a brainwashed soldier of the evil Feline of Evil? NO! Impossible, he remembered everything he had been doing while he was gone! He thought back: -Ate breakfast -Ate lunch -Battled the forces of the Worm Virus of Evil Nothing out of the ordinary...except!--no, nothing. So he wasn't one of them... He had to get the word out! He jabbed the communicator and hit the speed-dial "S" for "Scath".... ...for some damned reason the line was busy, but then he realized "S" was for "Saul" and he was actually calling himself. He ended the communication and manually dialed the number.... ...he was now angry because he had forgotten to dial the area-code and the other million numbers. He hung up and tried again...only this time, it worked....

I don't mean to keep making things depressing, but his funeral was quite a sight. It included a gun salute, a color guard, bag-pipes, and taps being played. It was very sad. He was good friend of my family and he will be dearly missed... Colonel Peterson, RIP

Now with the new computer, I have been playing: -The Sims -Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis -Zoo Tycoon Expanded -Age of Empires II -Praetorians They are all very good games (I especially like Praetorians), but I don't think Rebellion will work on this computer since it's a Windows XP. Does anyone know (since I have yet to try it out)?

I have apparently not fully returned. Why do I say this? Well, my damned avatar isn't working! I did the right thing and it won't work!!! I entered the URL into the appropriate box and hit "Submit", but it still doesn't work! Here's the URL and it does work: http://www.daktanion.dk/Images/Bouncestormgimpy2.gif Can someone help me get it back up and running and, thus, assist in the complete return of the BEAK Imperium and its grand imperator, please?

Now that I can actually access the Internet again, I went to checkup on my webpages and WHAT THE HELL?! They seem shagged, and I don't mean a little shagged, I mean f*cking shagged!!! Could a few of you guys go to my two webpages (my home page and SOCL's Desk) and tell me if you guys notice it too or if it's just me...again(?).

Jahled, my friend, I was wondering if you could get me some information on how to become a citizen of the United Kingdom(?).

This is probably the most thorough, if not longest forum discussion we have ever had! WOO YAY!

To quell any doubt that existed (which it didn't), I will be using an Imperial insignia, but I'm not sure what the rank itself shall be just yet (I'll probably do a poll like my 2000+ post friends). Okay, so what needs to be done now is make a revised inisgnia for Igor. Okay, the thing is, all my old files were on my old computer, so recovery will take time, but it will come about. Excellent, the infamous BEAK rank explanantion thread still exists. While I was gone I worried members would spam it up and get it closed. Woo Yay.

Thank you, BoShek.

Hey, I may not be Dutch, but I have Dutch friends (many) and I can tell you one thing: they are taking over. ...wait a minute. ...oh no.

My game is on the old and dead computer and, thus, I cannot access. So...Scath, would you be kind enough to send it to me again so that I may have "Above" on this computer?

This is like that M*A*S*H reunion a couple of years ago...only we're all still alive.

Antilliles, you were gone as well? Creepy....

Have your neighbors and the guy with the motorized couch noticed this change in your life?

I already said his name and rank. His name is Wullf Yularen and he is a colonel in the Imperial Security Bureau (ISB). I typed it in five posts ago. Okay, he is not a grand admiral, he is a COLONEL in the ISB. And he is not wearing white, he is wearing an ISB uniform that is a light grey. No, it means no one reads my posts.

It was. Okay.

So I suppose it is time to begin assembling our respective forces and preparing for a third war? I fear for our lives, my friends....

Sorry to say it, Elvis, but I don't have that much pity. I know, that sounds harsh, but I had no good, bad, or ugly, I mean, mine was totally downright disgustingly ugly: my computer died (dead for good: not ever coming back) and I lost every single thing. So, I had the same thing only minorly worse. I feel your pain, bro! Lets just forget it all and have a beer...then another...then another...then another....

Doooomed Most definantley too much lager.... By the way, Trej, whatever happened to your new insignia? I mean, gosh, it seems like time stopped when I left and I'm actually quite surprised at how much hasn't changed since I left (or seems like haven't changed). This, Jahled's forum promotion, is the only apparent change thus far.

I think you're referring to Colonel Wullf Yularen, an ISD officer aboard the first Death Star seen in the infamous Conference Room scene. If you aren't referring to him (since everyone else is wearing a grey uniform )...well, um...then who? Goodness, you guys didn't waste any time and inreviving the BEAK Imperium and its Grand Imperator, did you? All right.... Okay, the three moff ranks are truly military ranks, persay (sp?). You see, Moff was like the ranks of proconsul, consul, and dictator in the Roman Republic [the latter not to be confused with the Caesar-ian dictator(s) and the emperors]. They (though most certainly not all) were appointed as temporary political and military to solve a crisis. So, in reality, moff ranks are (or at least were meant) to be temporary commands. Now, the interesting thing about these ranks is that they do not fall into the military hierarchy, but have insignia that does. Confused yet? Okay, well, lets start. Suppose a Sector of space is in a time of crisis, a rebellion, for example. Well, in that case the Emperor can choose to appoint a Moff to be the governor of that Sector and can grant him political and/or military power(s). So, suppose the crisis is only a political one, well, then those powers needed are granted and the Moff has as much authority as the Emperor grants him. Usually, political-power Moffs have almost dictorial powers over the Sector, but no direct military power/command. Suppose the crisis is a military one (like an armed revolt/rebellion), then a Moff with military powers is appointed for the Region. Generally a commander Moff is put above the ranks of High Admiral/Surface Marshal/High Marshal so that he may command the whole of the Sector's armed forces, but at times they may be put below a commander who is already in place (though this never truly happened). The final Moff is what I call the Consular Moff, or a Moff with both political and military powers. These Moffs have absolute command of a Region, over both military and politics. All regular Moffs, though, never had powers above that of a Grand Admiral/Grand General. A higher class of moff is that of Grand Moff. This type of moff is granted power in a crisis over an Oversector, which is any region of space larger than a Sector. These problems were mostly Intersector crisises (sp?). Grand Moffs also came in three sub-classes: Political, Commander, and Consular. The last, lesser known, and highest class of moff is that of Supreme Moff, a rank never known to have been appointed, but was possible. This type of moff was an exception to the others (additionally, not much is known about it). Supreme Moff(s) may have had any sort of power they were granted and maybe even of the same status of a Grand Admiral (or higher). They were probably a civilian achievable equavalent of Grand Admiral. A few more details about moffs. Moffs of all classes could be either civilian or military. What do I mean by that? Well, take Moff Disra (Specter of the Past, Vision of the Future) for example, he was a Moff appointed to the position, but he had no military expierence, instead he was a civilian. Now, turn to the Moff in Return of the Jedi, he was a military officer appointed to be a Moff. The way you can tell the difference is in the verbal address. Disra was always addressed as "Your Excellency", a civilian reference. The Moff in ROTJ, on the other hand, was referred to as "Commander", a military reference. Concerning the military officers. The highest rank officers could achieve was that of High Admiral/Surface Marshal/High Marshal, after a higher rank/position (such as Moff, Grand Moff, Supreme Moff, and Grand Admiral) required an Emperor appointment. This in no way means, though, that one had to be of the rank of High Admiral/Surface Marshal/High Marshal to be appointed to Moff/Grand Moff/Supreme Moff/Grand Admiral. Many examples are known of lower officers getting promoted above the superiors. To be quite frank, the moff situation (as confusing as it may be) is actually rather simple, but I am explain things in such a way that make it rather confusing (i.e. why I am the Grand Imperator of BEAK). The case varries and any other questions or confusion you have, feel free to ask: I am more than willing to answer. Please, if you don't understand something, though, don't asume: ask! This way we may prevent a confrontation/arguement.