Sneaky_Zoot

Oh dear!

Don't mention it....your girlfriend's crap at feeding me....

Don't mention it....you're girlfriend's crap at feeding me....

…Zoot landed with a rude thud on a rock and began sliding. He was quite freaked out. It had happened so suddenly. One moment he was stalking the smog-filled shadows of London’s back streets, clutching to a can of his cunning concoction of Nuclear-enhanced Fosters, looking for swrebellion members, encountered one; and was well, sliding down a rock. The situation wasn’t good. He did what any cat would naturally do in such a moment; compose his thoughts whilst licking his balls. However, he didn’t work, he was sliding down a rock. The physics just didn’t comply. Emmm…he mused, beginning to become a little concerned as to where he was, and exactly where he was sliding. With feline grace he tried a vein attempt to compose himself, straightening and stretching. Nothing positive seemed to happen. He still seemed to be sliding. He thought some more, and realized he wasn’t actually sliding. No, he was falling. His brilliant sense of feline logic seemed to elude him. Feline dexterity and agility seemed to have no effect in his current predicament, he was in free fall. He glanced below his feet. Emmm…he wondered, just a distant blur. And once more, Zoot tried to composed himself as he became aware of air whistling past his stealthy ears. ‘I wonder where I am!’ He meowed. Moments past. Zoot yawned, he began licking his armpit. More moments past. And more. Zoot yawned again. He passed an equally freaked-out passing parrot, which squeaked out in surprise. ‘Oh dear,’ he meowed, ‘I beginning to believe I may have under estimated my current situation!’ With some horror, Zoot realized he was still in possession of one of his special Nuclear-enhanced cans of Fosters. His paws clutched it firmly as logical feline thoughts raced through his devious feline brain. He held the can up to his eye, trying to determine the consequence of the can; the blur below him, and his present free-falling status might have on his perfectly groomed fur. Glancing, he realized it was no longer a blur. No, it was ground! His whiskers twitched involuntarily. Zoot’s feline eyes suddenly lit up with horror! He shrieked: ‘Holy Fuc…’ http://www.staticfiends.com/galleries/government_galleries/0019.jpg

You humans should be aware we cats like Star Wars as well: http://www.starwarscats.dk/

...All was quiet. The feline-terror known as 'Zoot' had not been heard from for quite some time. Peace and sanity was returning to the hallowed forums of swrebellion. Topics could be discussed without members unwitingly cracking open nuclear lagers they would suddenly find just lying around. Members began to get decent nights sleep, now their dreams weren't terrorized by wiskers flickering in the shadows, or tails vannishing behing fences, to the patter of rain. One such member was Elvis. He alone had stood up to this feline menice, though partly due to the piece of luck that Zoot had blown up his neighbour across his street by accident, and not him as had been intended. Armed with this rather incredible and quite frankly almost unbelievable piece of luck, Grand Admiral Elvis, openly opposed the feline threat posed by Zoot with spirited defiance. 'Ah!' Elvis cried with bold vigour, 'No kitty cat is going to mess with me! Here, take this!' Pow! And Zoot let out a startled feline shriek and ran away. And at first the going seemed good. Zoot scurried away, returning to the shadows where they are thickest. There he waited, licking his balls, as he planed vengeance on this foolish human who stood between him and what ever reason he had for populating the Moon with hapless members of swrebellion. It was during his evening meal that Elvis was to realize the terrible consequences of his defiance. He burped and had another meatball. http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0RQDeAsAUb9j9G480PnxSbD!PBHc8DnJT!Wtm4417VqeS7gEmyJDekrp!F9b6mwEDfVFJg5!QQzUaYvaKp4q0mVGgbKD9qkY0dKxotNDG0a0/Kittien1.gif?dc=4675412249974000460

Yes...indeed.... http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0QwAAAFUUkLk071jQws0ZJT27zioXY7CF2p8MTyBCA6LymRYeJfWUzBfw3Kguf0lAWDilmcDJ8wIcFC4rXbm6SRC4razYDKi99sChVjyWiLs/neuter.jpg?dc=4675412220649459048

...damn you! I'll get you... You can't hide from feline justice forever! Human fool.

...Trejiuvanat...hovered nervously in his living room. His computer murmered in the background. Rain spat at his windows, his light bulp flickered occasionally in line with the rumbles of thunder... He could hear the roar of the trees bent in the fury of the storm, Trejiuvanat shuddered; he could almost picture the sinister wiskers, licking it's balls in some bush, flashing cunning feline eyes... a cold swett engulfed him. He nervously reached for his mouse, paranoid about what being a member of swrebellion revealed about him....he shuddered at the prospect of Untimely, Jahled, and Elvis all up the moon! Without much care he reached for the can if Fosters that he strangley found beside his mouse...it would cool him down he thought...settle his nerves...that sort of thing... click...pop... http://www.radix.net/~bbrown/pictures/nuclear/hardtack.jpg

Bite his toes? God no, while that beer consuming fool has been sitting chuckling and cackling infront of his computer, i've been preparing a special mix of fourteen highly inflammable liquids and two lethal strains of biological nerve agents into a can of Fosters I stole earlier. I can't wait to hear the cries of anguish and prelonged agony when he cracks open that one! Ho ho ho! Stupid shit has forgotten to feed me again.

..purr...you weak minded human fool! I've just been in Jabba's palace checking for 'vermin.' http://195.167.178.230/g/jabbatelly.gif

I love a good dig...several million years worth of 'muturing' makes some fantastic eating...oh! Hang on a sec....i'm a cat...not a dog! Any fish?

Stupid cat eh? I can't wait till you get into bed.

Human fool.

...humm...being a cat I don't really understand things like internet connection speeds...it's pretty darn impressive i've even managed to type given i've got paws... Anyway...gone is my lovely picture....

Cute isn't it, sadly I became a member last night and, well being a cat, I don't really appreciate things like other people's internet connection speeds. So i've taken down the cute image of me riding Jahled's motorbike so as not to screw up other people's enjoyment of the site, heeding a few grumbles my feline-senses have detected in the forums. It can still be found on my 'homepage.'

..so you admit to wearing flares do you, Jahled, you sad waste of space. I bet you like listening to ELO and Rainbow, you useless piece of human-crap.

Yes, you weak minded beer-consuming fool. I, 'your cat' have accessed human technology, and plan to use it to humiliate you for all the times you've turned up at my house on your motor bike and rummbled me whilst i've been trying to 'get my way,' with one of the local cats; you heartless bastard! He he he

...he he he...but you never catch me you human fool...he he he...and every morning I piss on you and Claudia's bed...he he he...and you chase me round the house throwing your socks at me...and always miss...he he he ...golly humans are stupid.... Shall I tell everybody about how many teddy-bears you guys have to 'confort' every night...he he he..shall I?

..human fools...is 'splat boom,' all you can communicate about?

Meeeooowww! So this is how you talk about me on these forums!

Meeoooww...and hello every one, i'm Jahled's cat. The stupid fool is at the pub again, so while he's not here i'm going to humiliate him. He he he... Meeeooowww!