2000 POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Trejiuvanat]

Everywhere around the world. SWR members have been alerted that Zoot is back, and it's seeking revenge.

In Costa Rica, Trejiuvanat stops studying German (thanks Zoot) and sets up a watchtower over his SW artifacts, somewhere int he U.S. SOCL saves his precious recording of his explanations before Zoot can delete them, or worse allow fellow SWR members to hear them.

In the Netherlands Scathane rushes home in an attempt to warn the newer members of Zoot, while in GErmany during one more boring lesson, the_mask hears a meowth followed by an "Humans are fools". In a GAmorrean den, wormie hears a panicked swine-cry, and then the Gamorrean female reports that she saw a furry thing that wanted to see him.

At last in London, while Elvis meditates over Dodos and the RPG and his new title, in another corner of the city Jahled finds a capuccino on a table.

Fooled by his own emotions Jahled thinks that it was his girlffriend who prepared it.....

Elvis's meditation is interrupted as he sees part of the city of london go up in a flame.

"No, not again."

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

I just got one word to add to this post. Help!

[SOCL]

"Reporting from headquarters," a staticy voice came over the SWR communication network. "This is Admiral SOCL from Fort Campbell, Kentucky, United States of America. My forces have set up sentry lines around the local collection places and book stores, guarding the STAR WARS material, but they can't stop an all Zoot invasion--hold on."

A voice in the background of a troop reporting.

"It seems that the southern forces have engaged in a skirmish with furry forces, but we're not sure of the exact target, but--wait--"

Gunfire in the background and a loud MEOW bomb.

"--negative--negative! We've got contact here! Send reinforcemen--"

...static.

[Trejiuvanat]

The first have fallen. Other will yet see how oen single cat attacks and plunders shelves and collection places....

SOCL tired stood up, the battle had been terrible, but at least he had a capuccino...

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

A cat plane drops a Cappucino HQ, As the nasty liquid is in air a soldier screams "Chemical Warfare"!!!!!

[Guest Scathane]

The ground trembled in the Netherlands as well. Scathane felt his entire underground abode shaking and become smoky with dust... He just had to get the command center back online or they would all be defenseless against Zoot. Nevertheless, SOCL was holding out... His forces may just form a thin line, but they were holding out...

 

Trejiuvanat was reporting all around the globe acting journalist again... Jahled was sitting in a London pub staring glumly at a cappuccino, ElvisMiggell thought he could save the world meditating and there wasn't any signal from wormie... Darn, he better get this command center up and running fast!!!

[ElvisMiggell]

Antilles, i was the guy that saved them last time. After having to transfer my consciousness into a Yuuzhan Vong body.

 

Now I am incredibly powerful, but wondering about how I should use them. The classic dilemma of a hero. (Me)

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

No! Elvis is now a Yuuzhan Vong! Help! The modeator is out of the force! Help!

[Jahled]

what does

You have just taken your first steps into a larger universe mean?

 

 

Well, it just goes to show you you should be careful posting when you've had a drink. It was meant to be a cunning quote of Ben Kenobi telling Luke he's just taken his first steps into a larger world, but I mashed it up!

 

Darn!

[SOCL]

...static.

"This is SOCL to SWR Command Center, repeat: this is SOCL to SWR Command Center, do you copy? Over," a staticy, broken radio communication came through.

Scath looked up in surprise. The communication network was working. "Go ahead, Fleet Admiral."

"Sir, we've sustained heavy loses! Most of my forces have been burned by large amounts of what appears to be cappuccino," SOCL says in the distinctive voice of someone talking and listening at the same time. "My executive officer reports that we have been able to hold off the initial attack, but that intelligence has reported a second attack is imminent."

Static.

"--need reinforcements as soo--as possible."

More static, the hiss of the radio.

"--porting from For--Campbe--Kentucky, USA: this is Flee--Admiral SOCL, out."

End transmission.

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

Oh okay, thanks for clearing that up Jahled.

[Jahled]

...Deep in a hidden command facility bunker cum Kentucky-fried Chicken, lots of people were rushing around clutching pieces of paper, armed detatchments of soldiers were furiously escourting boxes of Star Wars related stuff, and swrebellion members were trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Chaos.

 

Wormie's pet Beaver had accidently mistaken a bank of cables for a tasty eel and blown the main communications array, leaving Wormie himself to furiously chase his Beaver around the complex hurling blocks of ice where ever he glimpsed site of the mischevious little fellow.

 

SOCL remained as ever trying to gather all the information he could on the situation, and held briefing after briefing with the cream of his military staff. It was only after the seventh such briefing he began to notice small flasks of Jack Daniels appearing more openly. At first he had only caught brief glimpses of them, flashes as senior offices added the contents to mugs of coffee; but as he developed the detail to his briefings he began to see the Jack Daniels more openly passed around, to the extent he began to think something was up when whole bottles were openly brought out on the coffee trays and the Generals reached straight away for them. This had began to make him reflect on the manor in which he conducted his explainations on the dire crisis at hand...

 

Admiral_Antilles was busy boasting about how no one had anything to fear with him around with badly behaved felines, began waving a light saber around wildly causing mayhem among the troops in his vacinity (few were hurt) before turning suddenly when he heard a whooshing sound getting louder....

 

 

 

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0RQDjAj8Vs*Wy0k0x4kdmb6X88*lL2pl!rjEaNwMHMNPgNGGa*uBR8N0hiDsW8OFkuMH5Wsjg7D!SCHvzND17Fi3H1o4VHDrcMEjRbIIdoYg/rocketcat.gif?dc=4675424511670423095

 

The surprise attack prooved catastrophic and resulted in this:

 

 

 

http://www.batguano.com/nuclear/3.jpg

 

...when Wormie's pet Beaver mistook a Cruise missile in the resulting confusing for a log and attempted to use it for it's new dam in the coolants of the facilities nuclear reactor....

 

Scathane had of course tried to point this out to SOCL, but found himself recovering in a chair following SOCL's detailed explaination of his theories. It was unsurprising then that his sector's defences were plunged into confusion and were helpless when Zoot's new offensive sprung into life:

 

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0RwC0BBcWpDBXoz2osWxoF62FprmCpl7mLey9vNL4cftEN61vO6C3qBtdVweakEoz!6VMh7af6zll7HdF2x4iFhsIJvYrWS9uUKOUNhuEo64/kittiechuck.gif?dc=4675424511596279234

 

 

This to might have been thwarted had the Aegis air defense system hadn't been struck by a sudden strike from a brick-shaped ice-block hurled by Wormie, mistaking a flickering console for his mischevious pet-Beaver.

 

SOCL began shouting orders, the confusion deepened, general chaos... the situation appeared completely doomed...

 

It was then that Scathane, trying to regain his composure after his briefing with SOCL, bumped into some familar figures in a dimly lit corridor.

 

The_Mask emerged from the shadows, followed by dudes Trejiuvanat and ElvisMiguel. They looked wierdly composed given the mayhem around them.

 

'I have a plan,' whispered The_Mask, breathing calmly behind his mask.

 

Scathane looked at the trio, and was became unnerved at Elvis' luminous glowing eyes, as with Trejiuvanat's new arm, he later learnt was a 'big joke' to piss some Hindu friend of his off. He gulped and watched broken ice scatter over the floor....as Wormie ran passed shouting obsenities and waving at least three light sabes around his head....

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

I dont boast! (too much)

[Jahled]

WOOO!!!

 

Yo dudes, I just realized this is getting awefully like the Seven Samurai; or the Seven or eight or nine Jedi... hay guys!

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

You lost me, What?

[SOCL]

Meanwhile, a special reconnaissance team, under the personal command of Fleet Admiral SOCL, had just completed an operational raid of one of Zoot's palaces...

http://www.specialoperations.com/Army/Delta_Force/delta.jpg

...the raid had, sadly, divulged nothing.

[ElvisMiggell]

Antilles, perhaps an explanation is in order. In the first Zoot wars, Zoot took all my friends by surprise, and I made the mistake of protesting my superiority. Zoot finally caught me and exploded me. However, my body simply dissapeared, unlike the others who landed on the moon. I became non corporeal, and floated round the galaxy until i reached one of my secret hideouts. There I entered a specially prepared clone of a Supreme Yuuzhan Vong warrior. This one had been grown around ReYsalmiri to imbue it with the force. Thus i came back as an immensely powerful force strong Vong!

 

My modifications were neccesitated by a real world incident which involved mbeing stabbed several times, so Trej gave me a new arm and a replacement stomach.

 

And now I am the Yoda of SWREbellion.com

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

Oh okay Elvis, I got ya now.

[SOCL]

Transmission to SWR command center.

"Warlord Scath, this is Fleet Admiral SOCL reporting over the raid on Zoot's palace: We were able to take the palace with no casualties nor incident...well, except for a booby trap of a giant tiger rug, but that's beside the point. We took the palace and searched it, but divulged nothing of great importance...well, that is, except for many, many, many, many bottles of cat-nip.... We are currently airborne and returning to base. SOCL, out."

End transmission.

[the_mask]

As Scathane joined the trio went once more into that well-known freighter of Elvis, he learned more

about the Mask's plan. Due to his double agents within Zoot's evil empire, the location of the

new feline HQ wasn't a secret anymore and the time to end this menace was running short.

 

'And with this pass-code you can simply walk into the back-door of his secret hideout ?'

Scathane asked eying the Mask doubtful. 'Trust me, it'll work' the other replied calmly.

From the cockpit Elvis was shouting down the hallway 'Destination approaching, fasten your

seatbelts !'. Under his breath Trejiuvanat muttered 'Joker'.

 

Flying low Elvis' modified freighter had avoided all of the scanners set up to detect any

incoming hostile forces. It was a beautiful and remote island, that misteriously was also

the home of a large number of monkeys, nobody would've suspected the presence of the sinister

feline there.

They dropped the ship well out of sight and marched through the rainforest to reach their

destination. At some time during their trip Scathane suddenly shouted 'Look, a three-headed

monkey !'. 'It's just not funny anymore, Scath.' Elvis said, while turning to look over his

shoulder.

 

When they finally reached the inconspicuous back door, composed of some darkened metal, the

Mask simply walked to it and knocked. A little hatch opened and a eye-shaped object, attached

to a stick shot out of it. The upper lid opened and through the speaker they could hear

something uttered in huttese. The Mask replied in an even tone 'Mooljee guma.'. The eye raced

back into its shelter and Scathane asked in disbelief 'Room service ???'. Before Mask could

say anything the door opened, and the slight whine of servos could be heard underneath the

grinding of the metal. The Mask grinned, shrugged and beckoned the others to follow him.

 

 

Meanwhile in the main chamber at the head of a large wooden desk, Zoot adressed his three

most trusted lieutenants, who were sitting next to him. Except for them the room was empty.

After some incidents with hidden spygear and strange behavior of some of his mice agents,

he searched his chambers for listening devices more often.

After looking each of the three into their eyes, he began his introductionary speech.

'Gentlemen, welcome to my new layer. It's a hollowed-out volcanoe, we're surrounded by

liquid magma and the rent was also very cheap.'.

Just at this moment a read light at the console on his side of the large desk turned from

red into green. Almost casually, Zoot pressed down the button next to it with one of his claws.

 

 

'So, where should we go now ?' Trejiuvanat asked. The Mask looked at the three corridors before them

and scratched the back of his head. 'Ah, the description is a little bit ... sketchy ... at this

part of the map.'. The others groaned and no one noticed, that suddenly the floor opened and

everyone was falling into the darkness below.

 

With a loud thud, that knocked the wind out of their lungs the four landed hard on the floor of

the chamber below. Scathane was the first one to rise. 'Trust me, he said.' he began, the other three

members of the group were getting up now as well.

They were trapped in a large, featureless room and it was mostly dark in there.

At the end of the room, a spotlight winked into existence, iluminating a short figure. He stood there

with his grey cloak, that he thought made him look more like Yoda, but those who had already

met him knew, that he preferred the other side of the force.

Locking eyes with them, Zoot spoke in a raspy voice 'So, you've finally come to meet your destiny'.

 

Another light started to shine behind Zoot, as he went on. This one gave a better view at a wall full

of monitors and a console with countless buttons and targeting devices. The monitors were

showing scenes from all over the world, where people were under attack by Zoot's evil cappuccino

rockets and the console was undoubtably triggering the missiles.

'You can't stop me now.' the cat continued, 'soon all of the world will be under my control. Nobody

will escape my wrath.'.

Trejiuvanat advanced a step and drew the lightsaber from his belt. 'And how do you expect to stop us all ?'

he asked, his tone slightly amused.

'We'll think of something', Zoot replied while three more cats stepped into the light, every one

looking exactly like their master, Zoot.

The three newly arrived felines bared their fangs and lurched forward to meet Trej, Scath and Elvis.

The latter two were also drawing their sabers now. The three clones each came down with activated

sabers on their targets and cackling, hissing noises erupted as thrusts were blocked and parried.

 

In the center of the furious battles, like in the eye of a storm Zoot and the Mask were facing each

other, both drawing their lightsabers as well. Zoot's saber had intricate markings, made to look

like claw marks and the end of the hilt resembled a paw with extended claws. The saber of the Mask

was the same as the last time they had met in combat, a reproduction of the saber that belonged

to Exar Kun, a Jedi who had fallen to the dark side thousands of years ago. Mask's double blade

sprung to life slowly, one blade a yellow beam, the other as green as the mask he wore on his head.

He eyed Zoot closely, knowing that the little feline's anger and rage was what fueled his power, but

that could also work against him. He drew back the hood of his yellow cloak, revealing once more

the green mask on his face, as he spoke. 'Very well, you can attack me, but you lack the will of

the warrior. You have the will of the housecat, therefore the battle is already done. The winner ?

Me. Rematch, you lose again. Had enough ? I thought so. Hahahahaa !'.

Zoot was fully giving into his anger and launched himself at the Mask whith a feral snarl, while

thumping on his weapon. Mask stepped aside and let the force of his attacker's blow take him a bit

farther, as the other had planned. An instant later, the small figure was already striking low at

his feet and the Mask had move fast to block the strike.

All four groups of fighters moved through series upon series of attacks and parries, none wanted

to give up, but the speed of the feline attacks proved taxing to the humans.

Although he had little time to spare, the Mask couldn't resist taking a glance at how his companions

were doing. Zoot used this moment to sommersault over his enemy's head and twirled around with

the saber sweeping a horizontal arc toward the Mask's spine. The other turning around as well,

bringing his blade up just in time to deflect the blow, that would've sliced him in half.

Zoot shifted the angle of his pressure to move the tip of his blade towards the hand of his

adversary. As the Mask moved his saber around to intercept, the cat rotated his blade in a fast,

tight circle and at the end of it he moved the saber outwards. The saber was flung from the Mask's

hand and he was glad, that he didn't grab for it on reflex, otherwise his hand would have been

severed and flying were his saber was headed.

 

Zoot used the force to shove the Mask backwards into the wall they had come close during their

fight and was rewarded to see the other's head bang into the wall as well. He threw his saber away

and made a tiny gesture towards his stunned opponent. Mask's eyes flung open, as he clawed at the

invisible, steel-like hand that clenched his throat and lifted him above the ground.

Calmness, he needed to be calm and summon the force to absorb this effect. Yes, he could feel it

surging into him, like a cool wind at first, a warm breeze thereafter. And with each passing moment

he was more at peace. With a gesture of his own, he directed the force to shove Zoot away.

When he landed on his feet again, he glanced once more at his fellow swr members and was proud to

see them still holding their ground.

 

Having regained his composure, Zoot started a series of punches and kicks, that ended in a posture,

that somehow resembled an animal about to strike. 'And what style is this ?' the Mask demanded from

his opponent. The feline hissed 'Teraes Catti, or steel claw, if you need to know.'. 'Could we skip

this ? I don't have enough Whiskey with me for drunken boxing.' Mask said. Unimpressed, the cat

started a series of punches, that were almost too fast to perceive.

Deeply into the force, Mask simply let it direct his movements and was more reacting, instead of

acting himself. Time seemed to stretch and the blows and kicks were coming in slow motion and

relatively easy to deflect. But something else tugged at the edge of his awareness, a need to hurry,

like everything could be lost, if this didn't end soon.

Seeing that his attacks were ineffective, Zoot made a slight jump back and bared his teeth in

frustration. Channeling his rage he let loose a storm of lightning from the tips of his paws that

hit the Mask right in the chest.

Immediately thereafter Mask's throat was again in the grip of the invisible hand and he was tirering.

Looking over to his companions, he saw similar fates for them as they suffered the same attacks as he

did. Everything seemed to be lost.

 

Zoot was deeply satisfied with his nearby triumph. Soon, his cappuccino missiles would rain the liquid

from the skies. The countdown he had set on the console would make certain, that no matter how long the

battle lasted, the devastation would still follow. Thoughts were racing through his mind, too fast to

trace, they were inconsiquential althogether. What mattered was his victory over these human fools.

Nothing would stop him this time, absolutely nothing.

He was so blinded by his emotions, that he didn't even register the sound coming from the side wall.

The Mask however did notice the slight 'bling' coming from the wall beside him. When he managed to turn

his head into the direction it came from. A part of the wall was dividing and the slit of light in its

center slowly broadened to show someone standing in the cabin behind the doors.

He couldn't believe it, as Dinochick slowly emerged from the cabin, how did she always find these

elevators ? Why did nobody else find ever them ? Looking upwards, he thought he recognized something of

a cosmic sense of humour, but the pressure on his throat made him shift his attention again to more

immediate concerns.

Witnessing the carnage around her, remaining calm seemed to be an effort of its own, but thinking of the

object in her possession reassured her. Seeing Mask hanging in the air, feebly struggeling to free

himself, she couldn't help but grin. 'So, you finally stopped running, hmm Mask ?' she inquired.

Intrigued, Zoot turned around and momentarily lost his interest in his captive. Having regained

the freedom to breathe the green-faced combatant was inhaling deeply. 'I don't understand ...

how you could ever think ... this cat's cute.' he managed to say in a raspy voice.

'Well, this ' ,she produced an item from a pocket as she told him, 'always makes him much nicer.'

'But ... it looks like a ...'

'Yes, it's a ball of twine.'

 

She let it roll towards Zoot watching for his reaction. The cat merely snorted 'Such primitive, feline

weaknesses are beneath me !'. Although he remained standing in one place, he seemed to get increasingly

nervous and glanced at the ball more often. 'It's just ... ,it's only ...' ,he stumbled.

Unable to resist any longer, he jumped to it and moaned aloud 'TWIIIIINE !'.

Hearing his call, his clones also let go of their captives and were also totally obsessed with the little

ball of twine.

 

The Mask got to his feet and turned to Dinochick, slightly grinning while he started to feel better.

'Thanks, but you know, I almost had him.'. 'Sure.' she added drily, but grinning nevertheless.

As all five of them closed in on the console, they noted the countdown running steadily towards zero.

'I got a bad feeling about this.' Trej remarked, while Elvis and Scath were already busy removing the

panels from the console in order to stop the countdown.

Staring at the wires and chips beneath it the Mask, Dinochick and Trej tried to figure out, which one

would be needed to severed. Looking into the other two faces, the Mask asked them 'What do you think ?

The red wire or the blue wire ?'. Scathane answered with his head sunken into the inner of the

machinery 'Well, there's only an orange and a purple one. Oh and some cleverly wired explosives.'.

Seeing the countdown racing towards zero, the Mask made his decision 'Orange. Cut the orange wire.'.

 

Elvis did so, mumbling 'Fifty-fifty.'. A slightly increasing whine emitted from the device and the countdown

increased its pace. 'Errm ... I meant purple, yeah cut the purple one'. Everyone else groaned. Scath

shrugged and cut the purple one as well, they didn't have anything to lose now. Nothing changed.

Everyone looked at each other and all Mask could say was 'Oops.'.

Now it was too late to run, they would never reach the exit in time, there was no other option left.

They would die in a room with four cats, all arguing on who should have the twine ball.

As the countdown dropped below ten, Trej said 'Well, it's been nice knowing you all.' and at the

count of one, the display stopped.

 

'Now what ?' demanded Elvis as the display changed to show a string of letters that read

'Evaluation period over. Demonstration mode ends.', it was only the shareware version.

Zoot had been too miserly to actually buy the real thing.

 

 

They had averted the danger, the world was safe once more and it was also the end of a long day.

Tired but relieved, everyone headed for the exit. As they reached the door the Mask put an arm

around Zoot's shoulder and asked him 'So, what do you want to do tomorrow ?'. Turning his head

Zoot answered with a grin 'The same thing I do every night, I try to take over the world !'

 

 

 

END. (?)

[wormie]

Now if only we had this kind of commitment in the RPG.

[Jahled]

Wow!

[Guest Admiral_Antilles]

Whoa! What a nice long post for me to read mask!

[SOCL]

So . . . um . . . does this mean the Second Zoot War (Zoot War II) has come to an end(?)...or is it simply idle for the moment?

[the_mask]

Thanks, I wanted to write this for some weeks now and ideas were added every day and the got even more wacky with every passing moment

So I asked Jahled, what he thought about it and he kindly 'set the stage' for me, thanks Darth Gif

 

Socl, think about the following there's always a bigger fish

[/i]