2000 POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jahled]

That's rather Woo Yay! Dinochick, though I would like to know when he get's to practice given i've never heard anything, and he seems to sleep for 23.5 hours a day.

 

Cats seem to sqeeze the rest of their busy little lives into the remaining half hour! And a large portion of that is pretending they like us when they 'sense' us in the kitchen.

 

Scathe, that's horrific! I'm now to terrified to venture into the basement for fear of what other fiendish creations I might find!

 

Edit: One day i'll learn how to spell...

[the_mask]

Feline Agent No.0815 felt betrayed. As countless of his clone-breathren

he was also sent out to capture the members of swr.com, or to sabotage

their internet connection. But he just knew he was on a blue-milk run.

This could hardly be possible, either the intelligence reports were

faulty, or ... yes ! Yes, that was it ! He was still being punished

for the little entertainment he had sought, when his master Zoot had

held his briefing.

Sure, the food in southern Germany smelled good where he passed open

windows here and there, but as he closed in on his target location he

simply knew that he would not find anyone on his list there. This was

more like the industrial outskirts of this city, although close to the

woods. He could see that the concrete would soon take over the last

remnants of the meadows, that was just a question of when, not if.

 

As he was walking around the suspected house he noticed his increasing

hunger. The neighbouring houses roof sported several bird nests, but

they all seemed empty. On the outside, behind the fence he could see other

cats, maybe he could talk them later into sharing a little of their food with

him, although he doubted it. Normal cats were not like that, even he wasn't,

he added amused to this thought.

 

Finally he made his way into the house, the stairs lead to two apartments.

After searching the first one without conclusion he was fuming, just one

little joke and it had brought him here, without food and likely without

a chance of finding his objectives either.

Inside the second apartment several doors loomed before him, the style was hardly

surprising, since the other apartment was built almost the same way.

Opening the second-last door he entered a room with a row of StarWars posters

on one wall. Episode II was missing, was that so hard to get in Germany ?

On the bed lay a wooden mask, vaguely reminding him of some part of his

briefing, but he dismissed the thought as quickly as it had come. What would

this nordic-looking wooden mask have to do with anything ?

A little farther into the room was another mask, one he knew to appear in the

Scream movies. It was pulled over a head of glass and held several DVDs in place.

On the other side of the room a laptop and a pc were set up, along with some

cables connecting the two and several other parts of equipment.

And in the middle of the room ... he gulped. In the middle of the room was a

medium-sized birdcage holding a tasty looking yellow-green budgie who was

tootling and rocking back and forth on his swing.

At least not everything was in vain, he thought as he closed in on the cage.

His assignment was completely forgotten by the second step he made into the room.

Suddenly the bird halted the swing in midair and started turning around, which

the cat could only counter by hiding behind the table holding the laptop.

The bird in a typical high-pitched voice muttered to himself, as he didn't see

anyone in the room, "I tawt I taw a puttycat.". Hopping off his swing and onto the

ground of his cage, he started picking up some leftover corns.

The cat also continued his advance. Then, as silent as he could muster, he reached

his paw into the cage to get his well deserved snack. His dreams of the tasty

bird on his tongue were rudely interrupted by a loud snap.

Redrawing his paw he looked in disbelief at the mousetrap that had closd on his

quickly swelling digits. He couldn't help but letting out a loud YEEEOOOOW.

The bird lifted its head inside the cage and hopped amazed by the sight on the

ground. "I did, I did. I taw a puttycat !". After this he took his time for a

short flight to the edge of the open window and looked what this newcomer was

doing at the moment.

The feline now free of the trap and filled with rage stomped in the direction

of the curious and innocent looking bird. Two steps after the cage he felt that

the wooden floor tile he had stepped on was somehow different from the others.

The spring attached to it launched him half a second later into the air through

the open window.

In a attempt that was equally feline grace and pure desperation the agent managed to

turn around and grab the lower edge of the window, thankful that he would not land

on the concrete below.

Inside, the bird had come down and was shaking a bit. "Brrrr, it's gettin' awfully cold"

he said and slammed the window shut. As the window closed on his digits the cat's

eyes widened as much as they could and he could barely contain the scream that wanted

to break free of his throat. The window was shoved close several times and between the

smacks he could hear the bird wondering "Now why ... wont ... this ... thing ... stay

... closed ?". The bird heard someone moaning and wincing everytime he gave the window

another shove. Finally giving up he went to inspect what could prevent the window from

staying the way he wanted. When he saw the reason he gave out a loud "Oooooo". Landing

directly in front of the swollen and reddened paws of the cat he started lifting the

claws from their grip, one after another. "This little piggy went to market, ..." he

started, while he could hear the cat yelling "No, no, nooo". "This little piggy had roast-

beaf" he went on, just as he heard a long "Mwaaaaa". Then he saw that he was done.

"Well waddaya know, I ran outa piggies." he said mournfully and flew back inside his

cage. Sitting on the floor again, he took up a pen and made another mark in a long

line of previous ones. "You know, I get rid of moooore puttycats that way" he said

with a slight snicker and went back onto his swing.

 

 

Back in Zoots lair, the evil lord himself saw an entry on his list of active agents

flicker from green to red. He called up the entry and frowned, the readings were

inconclusive. The agent now seemed to represent a blob now rather than a cat.

Shrugging it of, he set the entry to "run over by car" and continued with his work.

[Jahled]

 

Zoot is pacing furiously in circles around the kitchen... indeed I bought him the 'supermarket branded,' Kitty-crunchies he hates; but hell I crashed this morning and am having trouble typing with my left hand...

 

Meaow!!! Meaoooooow!

 

'What are you on about, o retarted feline?' I retort, struggling with simple tasks such as opening tins of kitty-munchies, given my left wrist is swelling up and hurts like hell.

 

'MEOOW!'

 

**Typical affection crap against my leg**

 

'Dude, stop pretending to like me! It seems to me one of my fellow dudes had a purched-dude one of your clones couldn't get the hang of...

 

'Munch your krunchies and stop rushing up and and down in the basement, God knows what you're upto

 

Just do it a bit quieter...

[dinochick]

OMG! Zoot is coming!!

[Guest Scathane]

OMG! Zoot is coming!!

Those Viking kittens load awfully slow, DC!

[dinochick]

Sorry it was loading fine here

[ElvisMiggell]

2meg lines tend to help. I see your point though Dinochick, we should prepare some sort of repulsor effect to, um, err, repulse them.

[Jahled]

 

I've just been staring at my monitor for about four minutes completely opened mouthed! Wow.

 

Woo! Dinochick!

[Trejiuvanat]

Excellent DC, just great.

 

Trej was having trouble sleeping.

In the past nights he had awakened in the middle of the night, sweating and trembling, as he tried to remember what he had dreamt of, a dreaded name was the only he recalled: Zoot.

Perhaps, Trej thought, I might fall asleep easier if I read somthing. He checked the books on this table next to his bed.

The poetic Edda.... he didn't want to dream of Zoot in a nordic context... The One and Thousand Nights.. Sure some of the stories would chear him up... But then there were the Djinns and the Assassins... No that wouldn't help either. Science Fiction Stories by H.G. Wells... Yes, those would be nice... But then halfway though the Invisible Man.... He read the following lines:

"About two, the cat began miawoing about the room. I tried to hush itby talking to it, and then I decided to turn it out. I remember the shock I had when striking a light - there were just the roung eyes shining green - and nothing round them...."

 

Trej threw the book far away. Then the dogs in his backyard started making noise. They barked furiously at first, but then ran away. Trej looked out of his window all he saw were two green eyes. No.. It was only the reflection of his own eyes...

He lay on his bed again.

And he eventually slept.

Then came a purring. Was he dreaming?

The green eyes hovered on him and they spoke:

"For the trachery of SWR against the Catti people," Zoot's voice said quielty from beside him as Trej gasped for breath. "We were betrayed. We have been revenged."

Trej woke up screaming.

The door was open...

 

[/i]

[ElvisMiggell]

Dude, Trej, can you hear me? Are you ok?!?

 

Elvis poppe dhis head round the door. I think you were having a nightmare man. You ok?

 

Trej was sitting bolt upright in bed sweating like, um, a sweaty thing. (My normal phrase for sweating is not suitable for the internet!)

[Trejiuvanat]

Trej was shaking. His eyes were focused on an empty spot in the air.

"Are you ok?" Elvis kept asking him.

Trej looked at Elvis. But it wasn't Elvis, it was the pair of cat's eyes in mid-air, only that now Elvis voice came from it. At least that was what Trej saw.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU DIABOLIC CAT!!!!" Trej screamed and ran off.

Elvis grabbed him by the hand.

"Trej, what are you talking about, it's me. Elvis!" Elvis said stranged.

"Let me go... Please, and I'll give you many Kitty Krunchies..."

"Trej, wake up. I'm not Zoot." Elvis insisted.

"You try to confuse me you damned Cat... But I'm smarter. I know you aren't Elvis. Let me go."

Elvis had no choice. Trej had lost it. Elvis took the hardcover edition of Don Quijote and hit Trej on his head. That would keep him quiet. Elvis locked the windows and left, locking the door behind him.

With Trej have dellusions about Zoot, Elvis decided it was time to call the other members of SWR... Zoot was on the move...

[Jahled]

Trej awoke suddenly and dramatically.

 

He was covered in persperation. His heart was thumping dramatically.

 

'I've got to get out of here, i'm loosing the plot!' He thought to himself. 'Yes, I must eat...' He began muttering like a mantra. He scrambled out of his chaotic sheets, and fumbled for clothing, before grabbing his wallet and keys, and slammed the door behind him.

 

The day was bright, very bright; too darn bright! But Trej slipped on his Oakleys and soldiered onwards.

 

After three steps his heart exploded in paranoid panic as visions of his dream, and the pain of somehow being hit over the head, came back to him... he shuddered.

 

Quick as a stroke of lightening, Trej saw a taxi behind him, employing his advanced swrebellion.com member reflexes; and leaped out into the road. His light saber ignited. 'Hault!' He yelled, and lept in before the confused taxi driver could compose himself.

 

Carlos, the taxi-driver, peared at his paranoid fare in his mirror. 'Where to gov?' He said with an alarmingly-authentic cockney ascent.

 

'The nearest supermarket, quick!' Trej yelped.

 

'Ok, hombre!' Before immediately screeching to a hault. 'Five dollers.'

 

'But we haven't gone anywhere!' Trej gulped in increasing paranioa.

 

'You hailed me outside of the nearest supermarket, the meter's ticking!'

 

Trej, feeling a little freaked out thrust money at Carlos, the sinister taxi driver. (who might yet play a larger role perhaps...)

 

He strode into the busy super market, his head full of freaked out fiendish Pink-floyd type of visions...

 

Visions of humiliation that were always the same.

 

It was only when Trej reached the fridge did Trej truely begin to flip out!

 

Shortly after, Costa Rica hit the news screens...

[ElvisMiggell]

Quality gifs as usual!

[the_mask]

After a thorough search of the supermarket Trej finally found something, that didn't trigger any more visions of Zoot, a box of chocolate cookies.

'Yes, cookies ...' he murmured and went to the cashier. Having only taken the big notes with him, a 100$ note was returned by the cashier. Upon putting it into his wallet, he stopped and took another look at it.

He could immediately tell, that this one was different. The cashier stared dispassionately at him and asked, if something would be wrong. Trej shook his head in denial and left the supermarket.

Something was up, Zoot was behind it and he had help this time, Trej just knew it.

[ElvisMiggell]

But who could it be?!?

[the_mask]

It was getting slowly dark in Texas. Dinochick was just preparing to

go home, when she heard noise from the back of the room. When she

turned around, nothing was there. Shrugging mentally she turned back

to head for the exit. It was unsetteling, though. Having heard several

rumors of her fellow swr members, that Zoot might be back in business

and threatening once more everyone on swr.com and the world as well,

while he was at it.

When her head had completed the motion she remained standing. Right in

front of her was a darkly dressed man with a small black over his eyes.

His left hand was holding a katana blade, which pointed at the floor, for

the moment.

The shuffling noise behind her came again and when Dinochick turned

around this time, she saw sevaral more dark figures armed with swords.

Turning back at the one directly blocking the way to the exit, she

concentrated and let the energy flow through her to enhance what was

about to be said. With a slight gesture of her hand she opened 'You don't

want to attack me.'

The lead figure seemed confused at first, but then he shook his head and

replied 'The master sent us to take you with us', then he pointed

the blade at her. 'And stop with these tricks.'.

Staying calm, Dinochick told him 'I will leave now and you will step

aside', utilizing the force again to have the statement appear more

plausible.

The man's face turned into a angry grimace and he lunged forward.

Time seemed to stretch as Dinochick stepped aside and shoved him farther.

By the time he landed on the floor she had drawn her lightsaber and

the green bladed hummed alive. Pointing its tip at the one lying at

the floor, she offered the rest of them again to leave in peace.

 

After watching over their retreat, Dinochick took a few diversions on

her way home. Who else could be behind it ? They had to be the minions

of Zoot. But what was he really up to ?

[dinochick]

(nice Mask!, I like my shoes )

 

As I rode my bike home from school today, thinking about how I had narrowly escaped the ones in black, my eyes sudenly became more alert to the fact there every block I peddled by, I would see a cat. They would pretend not to be watching me, but I cold feel there eyes penetrating the back of my skull as I passed them by. Maybe if I lisened closely enough I could hear then calling into the there Master that I was nearing home.

Was there a trap lying ahead at home for me? Should I continue this way? "Maybe that strange lady with the all the cats that lives across the street from me really is up to something" I thought to myself, as I came around the corner, only blocks from my home........................

[Jahled]

Feeling a little jumpy? Dinochick, I was rabout to raise my James Bond eye-brow in respect of your growing skills with the Force. Nevermind.

 

Anyway, back to our sinister tale...

 

Dinochick was rushing furiously home through darkened sinister streets, ever watchfull of strange and feline eyes peering out of the shadows; some of which she noted seemed to have developed some kind of being of their own... She passed ally ways, full of monstrous expanses of silent emptiness which seemed to tug and grapple at her soul, teasing her to glance or tred further into their darkened-mystery.

 

She shuddered, gave her bike some more, and roared onwards; passing a strange carload of drunk gibbons, two passing pigs who accidently collided with one another... and a posse of pissed Stormtroopers, three high school kids 'having a day off,' Before braking sharply in panic as she thought she caught in the corner of her eye something dark and deeply sinister! Before freaking completely out, shouting wildly, reaching for her mobile phone, dialing frantically Trej in Costa Rica, rambling madly and incomprehisbly, gibbering and muttering, (in true Jahled Woo fashion), before turning into the park for the short cut home...

 

'Trej!' Dinochick yelped, 'It's happening again! I think i'm in serious shit here, what's the score in Central America?'

 

Before she could here the reply, her mobile was lost from her hands in a sudden shower of pain!

 

In the gutter her mobile phone lay. A voice came though; 'Hola! Hola! Dinochick, hola!' It was faint, compeating with the rain.

[Trejiuvanat]

Trej's visions were growing worse and worse. He had lost it for real this time.

Everything around him was Zoot.

He was in his room.

"If I don't look at Zoot, Zoot won't be able to look at me." The reasoning made sense at that point.

He closed his eyes and his under the blanket, hugging his cuddle toy.

He panicked again.

He opened his eyes again. And still saw nothing.

Not another vision.

He did not see anything but heard it again.

He focused to formulate a question. A vision if its only heard is it still the vision?

"Shut up, fool!"

Trej was startled

"Zoot?"

"No, Julián..." Trej was relieved. "I'm not to be referred as Zoot!!!! I'm to be addressed as Your Highness."

Trej rubbed his eyes and convinced himself that this time this wasn't a vision.

Without any second thought he ran away.

After the first five seconds he did have a second thought, and grabbed for the inalambric phone of his room. Damn if I only had a cell phone...

Trej wanted to check the hour and try to call his SWR friends but after a short glance on his wristwatch he decided against him and made for the street. His phone rang and he answered, teh caller ID identified it as a call from the US. Probably Dinochick.

"Hola Dinochick, aló!!!"

No answer.

There was no time for worries on the street Trej realized that Zoot was gaining on him.

He ran and entered the first taxi.

It was Carlos again.

"Tenés plata esta vez?" Carlos asked.

"No,"

Carlos just accelerated and left Trej on the street.

Trej kept running and entered a store.

On a TV there was a mention of Spielberg's latest movie...

Trej ran out of the store.

Luckily he found a friend waiting for him outside...Although Trej would prefer a more capable hero, but he appaered to be busy at the moment.

[ElvisMiggell]

I resent that!

[Jahled]

Elvis, I will SPOCK you for that!

 

I have given you loads of firepower over the years (by and large, still hosted) to make witty comebacks when you feel agrieved. I will give you the Jahled APPLY YOUR FORCE POWER BRAINWAVE WOO-HAR stern look, and suggest in this case you should of dumb founded our friend from Costa Rica with your Woo-har abilities as the king of the Dune Sea whilst not paying to much attention because being the king you're that cool kind of thing... (pant...gasp)

[ElvisMiggell]

Yeah well, what can i say, i'm too lazy to go looking for them, even in our own site!

[the_mask]

This night Elvis was falling tiredly into his bed, still stressed from playing HOTD and waterpolo.

However his dreams would not stay blissful. Tossing left and right his dreams became wilder

with every second until he seemed to float in utter darkness. Although he could see well within

a few meters, the rest was blocked by mist.

Suddenly he saw two yellow eyes half shrouded through the nebula. Eyes that were somehow

very familiar, but he couldn't put a finger on the name of their owner, but it didn't seem to

matter in his dreams. A disembodied voice, silent in volume, yet still powerful enough

to cut through his thoughts started, seemingly from everywhere at once.

 

I'm only laughing on the outside.

My smile is just skin-deep.

If you could see inside,

I'm really crying.

You might join me for a weep.

 

As if in response to Elvis' puzzled expression, a slight cackle erupted, but like the eyes it faded

back into the darkness.

 

With a sudden jolt, Elvis was sitting upright in his bed, fully awake. He could've sworn the

bottle on the table had the Fosters label and from the corner of his eyes he thought he saw a

feline tail vanishing through the open door.

[Guest Scathane]

Scathane felt thoroughly pooped. He had tried to run from the forces of the diabolical Zootlander everywhere. Het had been to Metropolis, to the countryside and to Belgium. Heck, even watching Pirates of the Carribean hadn't relaxed him in the way it should have and going to bed was hardly an option...

 

And then, just last week, the well-known shit hit the proverbial fan! He had been hiding inside the basement ever since...

[ElvisMiggell]

A damned good place to hide.

 

Elvis saw the can of Fosters, and remembering what had previously happened in ZW I launched it into outer space, where it mysteriously hit a cat in a superman outfit!