BadSamaritan

Well, when it comes to the mice, we can always just.... uhhh.... Feed then all to the Chinese?

Shouldn't it be Steeler, Broncos, Carolina, Seahawks? Bears got eliminated.

This is a bad thing?

When it comes to Zoot, why don't we just poison all the Catnip crops? Surely that would kill him eventually.

Except is the Star Wars universe, it would be PWI. Piloting While Intoxicated. I wonder what the punishment is for wrapping a Star Destroyer around a tree is?

Hey, I live in Minnesota. I know all about "middle of nowhere".

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away... Darth Vader looked up slowly from his meditation, a scowl on his face. "I feel an immence amount of stupidity in the force. Odd." he said, as he went back to his meditations, a picture of Padme in his hands. "Ooooohhh yahhhhhh....."

Wait, yah, I'll be Solo. I go through money just as fast as he does, I have just as many legal troubles, just as many skeletons in my closet, and just as many woman in my past. I just have more addictions then he does.

Why should I be solo? Is it my rapier wit, or my rougish charm?

As long as I gt to be Imperial, I am so down for this. I'll even provide a picture, so you will all get to see the Bad One himself!!

I would restore the pic, but I can;t for two reasons: 1: I was retarded, and didn't save it to my computer. 2: I can't seem to find the forum, or the thread, that I found it in.

Ok, found a better gift for you. http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/5631/11361671789145wa.gif

(Editors note: Yep. This is my space to ramble on about whatever I want to. And with that being said.....) "Admiral, more Starfighters have launched from three of the Imperial vessels. Unknown configuration. They are moving to intercept the bombers." Captain Treviss shouted, and Cortviss looked at his displays. The new starfighters moved quickly towards his bombers, and he frowned. His bombers had no protection. "Release the starfighters to move and engage these new contacts. We have to protect our bombers." he said, and treviss nodded. Cortviss sat back, and sighed. Perhaps this wouldn;t be as easy as he had hoped. ************************************************************ Commander Yagith smiled as he gunned his engines towards the oncoming bombers. His new starfighter would easily outfly them. Soon, they would all be nothing more than floating debris. "All fighters, break by squadrons, then groups, then pairs. Stick together, and tear them up. Let's get this over with, i want to tangle with the real fighters." he said, and he switched his two lasers over to single fire. As he closed in on the first wave, he saw they were massive K-wing assault bombers. heavily armed, but slower than a Y-wing. Easy prey. As he got within firing range, he fired. ********************************************************** Taviura watched the sensors, and smiled as the Sabres plowed through the first wave of bombers, leaving nothing but debris in thier wake. As they moved on to the second wave, she looked over to Teshik. "Admiral, if you wish, I can have my clutches deal with the bombers. They may not be up to Imperial standards, but they are more then enough to take on flying nerfs like those bombers." she said, and teshik nodded. "I am aware of this. But I have bigger plans for your starfighters. They are equipped with ion-cannons, are they not?" he asked, and tavira nodded. "Yes, but only light cannons. They aren't strong enough to do much damage to a capital ship." she said, realising what teshik was thinking. But Pelleon turned to her, and smiled. "They only have to be able to disable their weapons. The ion-cannons on our destroyers are far to inacurate to hit them from any decent range. Shall I release them Admiral?" he asked, but teshik shook his head. "No, we need to draw their fighters away the proper vector we need first. Give out Sabres a few more minutes to deal with the bombers, and then we can move on to phase two of this battle." he said, and Pelleon nodded. Tavira turned back to the sensor screens, and saw that the BR bombers we being neatly massacred by the far superior TIE-Sabres. It was a beautiful sight. *********************************************************** Arlen Tovi'ka had always wanted to be a starfighter pilot. The feeling of flying at high speeds made his blood boil in ways that he could not describe. he had applied to the academy as soon as he was of age, and he began his training. After graduation, he had been thrilled to find he had been elected to lead his own squadron. He had been set to Cortviss' task force, along with twelve other A-wing pilots. But now that he was in his first battle, he wondered if he had chosen the correct career path. Fighting in sims was one thing, this was completely different. All around him people were fighting for their lives. he could see the explosions of both TIE fighters and friendlies everywhere he turned. "Captain, behind you!!" came a sudden call, and Arlen foced his fighter into a tight spiral upward, then throttled down and made a hard turn to port. As soon as he heard the fighter shoot past him while tryin got keep up with his manuver, he punched the throttle, and settled in behind his prey. He hit the trigger on his control stick, sending torrents of laser bolts at the enemy. Several of them hit, one of them puncturing the port engine. He smiled as the TIE fighter exploded. "Thanks. Three, you're my wing. Let's go hunting." he said, and he arced his starfighter, looking for new targets. But before he could find one, he saw one had found him. The odd looking fighter flew straight at him, lasers blazing. Arlen watched in horror as his shields buvkled, then failed. The last thing he saw was a bright flash as a laser blast punctured his canopy. *********************************************************** "Admiral, the unknown fighters are engaging our starfighters. Bomber squadrons are retreating, with heavy casualties. None of them got close to their targets." Treviss said, and Cortviss smacked his hand on his control board. "Blast. I guess we have to do it the hard way. Prepare to engage the enemy at point blank range. have our medium cruisers move up to support us." he said, and he turned to the viewport to watch as the massive Star Destroyers of both their forces moved to engage one another. "Treviss, send a priority message to any vessels in this sector. Give them or location, and request assitance. I have a feeling ths is going to get ugly." he said, and Treviss nodded, happy the Admiral was coming to his senses. ********************************************************** "Captain, order all our starfighters to vector towards the port Vicotry-class. Have them target the sensor domes first, then the communications systems, then weapons. And have our Clutches prepare for a run against the starboard Victory-class, with targets reversed, using ion-cannons only. Let's see if we can get that ship in one piece." tachik said, and the captain nodded, and began barking out orders. "Admiral, if I may ask, why do you want that vessel in one piece? Wouldn't it be easier just to destroy it?" Pelleon asked, and teshik nodded. "Yes, it would be. But I recognized it when it entered the system. Let's just say that vessel has some history for me. History I would like to visit." Teshik said, and Pelleon frowned. He wonderd what Teshik was getting at, but decided not to ask.

*jumps, runs, and hides like a little schoolgirl* Stellar, I am sooooo going to get you one of these days....

I would think seeing something the size of that vessel appear in front of you would go a few steps beyong demoralizing. Especially when it blasts a ship from about 50 kilomters away, when you are well beyond firing range. And with an Eclipse, worldships would be a non-issue, as en Eclipse would crack one like an egg.

This is why I smuggle Morgan into the theater. Halfway through the movie, I rarely care enough about the movie anymore to stop me from getting up to answer the call of nature.

test is broken,. I got Han solo. I am much more nefarious that that two-bit hack.

*Plants feet firmly, brandishes his blaster, and produces a +5 magical lightaber from thin air** Make me, nerf herder.....

Wow, what a bunch a fans you are. I have over 1500$ worth of books, probably 1000$ in comic books, close to a 1000$ in toys, and some nifty stuff I picked up from stores using Star Wars to advertise other things (Pepsi, Ice Creams, and Clothes). Still trying to replace my Micro Machine collection, however, after my parents gave all of mine to my nephew, and he lost them all. Arrrrghh.

(Editors Note: Push! Push! Push!Just a little Push! Push! Push!A little further Push! Push! Push!Just a little bit Push! Push! Push!A little bit mooooore!) Admiral Tavira walked out onto the bridge, to find a sea of calm. Personel sat at their stations awaiting orders. The captain stared out the viewport silently. She turned her head slowly, and took everything in. This was far from the flurry of activity that one would normally findon the bridge of a vessel about to engage a superior force in battle. "Admiral tavira, so nice of you to join us. Tell me, what is the total stength ofyour flagship?" Teshik asked her, and Tavira smiled. "The Invidious is in as excellent condition as this vessel. Her hull may have some scars, but those are to lure fools into thinking her an easy target. Every turret onthe vessel is operational. And shehas a full complement of Clutches ready for launch." Tavira said, and Teshik nodded. "Most excellent. I will keep your starfighters back, as I do not believe they will beup to engaging New Republic fighter pilots. As for the rest of your fleet, I will disperse them in a scattered pattern. That way the enemy vessels won;t be able to simply swarmthem withturbolaser blasts." Teshik said, and Tavira nodded. "Admiral, the enemy vessels are changing formations. The two Victory-class Star Destroyers aremoving forward, and the Imperial class is moving back. It seems the Calamari cruisers are moving to flank the Imperial class. Enemy support vessels are moving to ring the heavy vessels." the Captain said, and Pelleon smiled. "Does he always use that formation when engaging inferior forces? Predictobility like that can only lead to disaster." he said, and Teshik nodded. "Very true. But our dear Cortviss has never had to deal with much more thanyou average Imperial or pirate band. Perhaps we should teach him that we are neither? Have our forces move forward at one half power, withthe starfighters keeping pace. If I am correct, he will mave his bombers fly ahead to try and damage our heavy ships first." Teshik said, and Tavira turned to watch his order be carried out. Slowly, the tow fleets moved towards one another. After a few minutes, vessels beganfiring test shots of their weapons, trying tp pick off fighters that were beginning to stray into range. A flash here and there announced hits. Tavira wondered how many of them were Imperial pilots. But she new it wouldn't matter in the long run. The New Republic forces were doomed from the moment they entered the system. ******************************************************* "Admiral, we are almost within firing range. Several starfighter squadrons have reported losses from stray turbolaser blasts." Captain Treviss said, and Cortviss nodded. "Pull our starfighters back, and prepare our heavy bomber to make runs on the Star Destroyers. Have our starfighters escort them in. Their TIE fighters won;t be able to hold them back, outnumbered as they are." Cortviss said, and Treviss looked at him. "Send all of them? Are you sure that is wise Admiral?" Treviss asked, and Cortviss nodded. "Yes. Our starfighters will allow our bombers to hit their targets without being bothered to much. And then our starfighters can take out their fighters. We will not have top worry about reprisals. " he said, and Treviss nodded slwoly, unconvinced. ******************************************************* "Admiral, sensors show enemy starfighters are moving faorward, with heavy bombers not far behind. Shall we have starfighter move forward to engage?" the captain asked, and Teshik nodded. "yes, but only the starfighters. Let the bombers get closer, then release the Sabres to deal withthem." he said, a smile on his lips. He watched as dozens of TIE fighters and Interceptors raced out to engage the oncoming New Republic starifghters. He watched on his sensors as they reached each other, and the entire force of starfighters became to much to follow. But then, the bombers began to set up on for their runs against the Star Destroyers. There was easily a wing of them, more then enough to heavily damage or destroy a number of his vessels. To bad they would never got to that point. "Launch the Sabres, and have them move to engage the bonbers. I dont want any of them to make it within launching range." Teshik said, and Pelleon smiled. This was going to get very interesting very quickly.

Ok, give me your home address, SSN, and home phone number, and I will get you the gift that keeps on giving!! A free visit from the FBI!!!!!!

D20? You mean, you will be building a PnP version of all of that? YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!! I will finally have a reason to actually run a campaign, instead of screwing everyone elses up!!!

*bows before the writing abililty of Stellar* very nice, very nice indeed. I especially like how you included the Ferengi, a much ignored race in the ST universe. Seven bars of Latinum says the Ferengi try to profit from all of this, and get vaped for their efforts.

Gah, I knew something didn't seem right. But Stellar figured it out before I could. Curse you, creater of the Repora, CURSE YOU!!!!

I was accidently omnipotent once. I passed gas, and altered the timeline so that GL never made the prequals. It ended in a massive world war, with Willie Nelson and his army fighting for the remnants of Iowa against Bill gates, and his never ending supply of badly prgrammed war-bots. I found it wrong, somehow, so I belched and made everything right.