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Re: Remeberance


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A short story in several parts I began to write tonight....I dunno what inspired it though, but whatever.

It chronicles the events that happen around Lord Zall, an amnesiac aboard a military warship, who is apparently someone "important", but he does not know why or how. I have an idea of how it is to end, but the way I wrote this, I figure out things as Zall does (lol), which suits my style of writing since I hate planning everything out - it limits my creativity.


It'll probably have around 5-6 short chapters...


Dramatis Personae: (more will be added if the story needs them, the only important person is Zall anyway)

- Lord Zall (Human, Amnesiac)

- "Captain" (Human, Captian of Flagship Neurotic)


Chapter One:

Lord Zall sat on the edge of a bed in a large room apparently designed for the living quarters on an important individual. He did not remeber getting into bed, getting into the room, or getting into the ship (his ship?) for that matter. All he remebered was that he had been woken up by a soldier a few hours ago, and had been refered to as "Lord Zall". From the way the soldier treated him, he concluded that he was someone important, at least on this ship, and his presence had been requested at the bridge. Questions rung through his head as he got out of bed and went to the wardrobe to look at what there was to change into. Confused and dazed, he changed into a fancy, loose-fitting robe that apparently he had 30 of and walked out of the room towards the bridge. How he knew which dircetion he did not know.

"Well this is interesting..." Zall muttered to himself as he neared the door to the bridge, "I wonder what they want with me?"

The door slid open smoothly and Zall stepped into the spacious room with wide windows looking out into space.

"You're here. We've been expecting you, my lord." An officer (the captain?) on near a control panel said.

"Yes, I suppose I am. Captian, may I please be refreshed as to why my presence has been requested?"

The captian looked at him queerly and said simply, "You had requested to be called here when we reached the Ennae System." Zall looked out the wide windows and his eyes fell upon a beautiful Gas Giant planet with swirling blue and green clouds. "We're ready on your call, my lord."

"Thank you."

Zall paced around the bridge of the ship as he pondered as to why he would tell the bridge crew to call him here at this time...

Edited by Droid803


"That was fun"

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Interesting... I'm sure it will be a nice fan fiction, I liked the Chapter One.

Waiting next chapter...  ;)


Curious query: does this fan-fiction happens in the Star Wars Universe? It could be very suitable...

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Probably...though noone would know XD.


Well...if you want to go with SW Universe, then I think you can pice together what the ships are, maybe except for the flagship.


Assimilator, Xoanon, Dispersal - Lancer Frigates

Ascension, Reciprocator, Lamentation - Escort Carriers

Spire, Breach - Star Destroyers

Neurotic - Whatever you make of it (Flagship)



Chapter Two:

Zall was staring blankly at the swirling clouds when the captian asked, "My lord?"

"Yes?" Zall snapped awake and turned to face the captian.

"We have come under attack. The enemy must have traced us to this location. In case of this situation, I have been asked specifically to come to you for orders."

"In what condition is our fleet at this moment? And the estimated strength of our enemy?" Zall asked.

"The frigates Assimilator, Xoanon, and Dispersal have come under enemy fire, as have escort carriers Ascension, Reciprocator and Lamentation and are requesting permission to return fire, they report that all pilots are on standby and are ready to deploy. Destroyers Spire and Breach are ready and awaiting attack orders. Neurotic has all weapons charge and is awaiting attack orders.", The Captain informed Zall, "The enemy numbers at approximately 6 escort and assault figates deployed in a Vee-formation, 3 cruisers forming a delta within the vee, and two light carriers at the rear behind the cruisers."

"Thank you." Zall, raked his brain for a clue as to what to do. Certainly, he could not just let the enemy, whoever they may be, pound away at his fleet, nor could he simply give the order to return fire, since he had given the order for the ships not to do so himself - or so he was told he did.

"What is going on?" Zall cursed under his breath and once again began to pace around the room. Was this some sort of joke? Zall muttered and cursed, but all the while thought for a solution to the current predicament. Seeing as he didn't know the individual ship's strengths and weaknesses, all he could go with was the ship's vague classification, how was once supposed to devise an entire strategy based on this little information?

"My lord, Xoanon reports its shield strength at 40%. If we don't fight back now, we'll be overmatched - the enemy cruisers are almost within firing range." The captian said hurriedly.

Having deduced a simple strategy, Zall confidently replied, "Move up to assist. Have the Ascension and Lamentation deploy all fighters and move to the back of the fleet, bring up the Spire between the Assimilatior and the Dispersal. Have all three open fire. The Xoanon is to move to the Reciprocator and provide cover. Have the Breach cover the Ascension and Lamentation's fighter screen, then order the Xoanon and Reciprocator jump behind the enemy fleet and deploy all fighter squadrons. They made a mistake leaving no rear-guard, I intend to exploit that to its fullest."

"Yes, my lord. Relaying orders."

Zall was shocked by what had just come out of his mouth. To any person, it would have seemed like a brilliant strategy from a brilliant strategist; to Zall, who did not remember his own name, it seemed that it was someone else speaking through him.

Gazing out the windows to the battle above the pristine planet, Zall felt a faint sense of recognition about being here before, like this had all happened before, but the sense, like a memeory of a dream, lingered for only a moment before being scattered by his own thoughts. Zall continued to ponder as to why he had no memory of what happened prior to the fleet arriving at Ennae, and how it had happened. It hardly seemed logical that he would know that he would lose his memory, much less know why he could, or was it?...


"That was fun"

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Thanks...writing the third chapter...its taking longer than expected (the first two I wrote in1 night or less...this thrid one's taing a while...)


That's probabkly because I'm trying to keep it so that it doesn't explicitly say which universe its in, but you could connect it to um...many different ones. those ship comparisions are if it were star wars...They could be something else entriely, up to you...lol.


"That was fun"

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I am glad that people are writing fan-fics again. I have written stories here, but none have to do with SW so no one really posts on them. I might write a Star Wars fan fic soon. Thanks for rekindling the fire in my soul.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm stuck :(


this is what I have so far of chapter 3:



Edit: I've decided that this is a good place to cut off chapter three...I've begun writing chapter four (about 80% done that)


Chapter Three:

"All ships are in position, my lord, what is the next order?" The Captain again broke into Zall's chain of thought with pressing matters concerning the battle at hand. It was expected, of course, since what commander would absently daydream in the middle of an intense conflict?

Zall sighed and replied, "Give them a taste of hellfire."

"Yes, my lord. All ships that haven't done so already, open fire."

The resulting firefight outside gave Zall a bit more time to think. Again, he found his eyes fixed on Ennae, something about the swirling clouds gave him a sense of recognition once again, but this time it was accompanied by a dull sensation of impending doom. Zall shook the feeling out of his head, but quickly regreted it. Maybe he HAD a reason to instruct the crew to come here after all...but then again, it would be as illogical as...well, it'd just be illogical.

Watching the bridge crew scramble around doing various tasks, Zall felt that there was something he was missing, he didn't know what, and it was making him uncomfortable. "Captain, I'm returning to my quarters to refresh myself. The battle is won, just see it through to the end."

Zall sat on his bed and looked around his room, scanning the walls and various shelves for something that would help him think. Inadverdantly, Zall got up and walked around the room, running his hand along the wall. It bumped into something and a part of the wall opened, exposing a dark room.

"What's this!?" Zall muttered to himself as he stepped within the chamber. Immediately, a voice rang out for nowhere.

"Hello," the voice said to Zall, which was remarkably similar to his own, "I assume you remeber nothing?"

Fighting to keep calm, Zall swallowed and replied, "Indeed..."

The voice continued as if it had never heard him reply. "If that is so, then this message is directed to you. There is a reason you have forgotten, and you will learn of it soon enough. Then, it will be your choice if you choose to remeber the past, or not. Whatever your choice may be, it will be your final decision and cannot be reverted, so think now, and choose wisely."

Zall made up his mind almost instantly. Of course he will choose to remeber. He was someone before, and he is noone now, but the more he thought about it, the mroe it made him uneasy. His thoughts were broken by a booming voice over the intercom "Enemy forces have boarded our ship, all hands, prepare to defend against the boarding parties!"

"what madness is this!?" Zall exclaimed as he headed back towards the bridge, "Captain, status report."

"My lord, it appears we have underestimated our enemy. they have managed to run a few boarding vessels through or offense and have unloaded troops aboard the Spire and our own ship. We report about 800 enemy soldiers on various decks of our ship."

"Is there anything we can do?" The Captain gave Zall a strange look as he said it, but he quickly took it back...

Edited by Droid803


"That was fun"

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But if it is the SW universe he'd be a Dark Jedi, an Inquisitor, or an Emperor's Hand...


I'm Basically Done the story. One More Chapter After this...Its done, but I'll keep you waiting for it, and you'll hate me for the ending XD.


Chapter Four:

"The blast doors should hold them out of the bridge. Our troops are fighting off the boarders. They'll be dealt with shortly."

"That's relieving." Zall took back the words as a huge explosion rocked the ship.

"My lord, it appears that-"

"I can see," Zall said, glacing at the flashing light on the control panel, indicating a large portion of the hull had been blasted off.

"Hull intergrity is compromised, we must leave."

Remebering the message, Zall cut the Captain off. "No, there is something I must do first."

"Very well then, I shall prep the escape shuttle. We'll be waiting in the main hangar area."

Zall scrambled back into his room, the ship rocking voilently as it came under unrelenting enemy fire. He once again entered the chamber where the voice was, and, as expected, it began to speak again.

"This is most unfortunate of circumstances. You have not had suficient time to think, therefore, I will show you one thing. And after viewing this one thing, you shall choose rather to remeber or not. There is no time, so I will show you this now."

A projection appeared in front of Zall, and what it showed apalled him. The video played for approxamately a minute, and ended. The voice returned and siad, "You do not need to tell your choice. You will have time enough to make the decision, but remeber, you ultimately choose your path. Now, I believe it is time for you to evacuate this vessel."

Zall sprinted from his room and headed for the main hangar, somehow knowing the direction towards escape. An explosion rocked the ship as Zall setteled into a seat.

"That's everyone? Ok we're leaving!"

As the shuttle left the hangar, the ship split in two, spiralling into the atmosphere of Ennae. Something vague sparked in Zall once again, but he pushed it away, remebering what he saw in the video. Zall felt a slight but of loss after his ship was destroyed, but he took comfort in that the 800 enemy soldiers onboard were killed in the blast, and most of his own forces had managed to get to shuttles or escape pods.

"My lord, reinforcements have arrived and the enemy fleet has been destroyed. The Battlecruiser Remeberance is ready to recive our shuttle. I believe that it has already been organized for it to be your new flagship."

Zall chuckled at the irony of it all. What are the chances? He shook his head and smiled. "very well."

As the shuttle neared the hangar of the massive ship, Zall's memory once again nudged him to remeber. The overwhelming dread of his choice to forget caused him to panic. He had not made up his mind yet, and yet the decision was upon him. If he was to push it away, he knew he would never remember, but was that a good thing? Sticking to his original decision, he let the meories flow into him, he accepted them and in turn they provided him with knowlegde and power. Words flashed by his mind, something about warning forbidden knowledge. He felt the sting of betrayal, the thrill of bloodlust, the feeling of true power. Then it all faded. Zall found himself laughing, chuckling at the collection of memories.

"We are docked in the Remberance. You may now disembark." Zall, now knowing the significance of that name, and his reason of forgetting, laughed at his own foolishness in accepting the memories. He laughed. He laughed like a madman...


"That was fun"

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I like your fan-fic, very nice...


As the shuttle left the hangar, the ship split in two, spiralling into the atmosphere of Ennae.

It made me remmember of the ship death clones/death animations in EaW...  :P


Zall felt a slight but of loss after his ship was destroyed, but he took comfort in that the 800 enemy soldiers onboard were killed in the blast, and most of his own forces had managed to get to shuttles or escape pods.


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Chapter Five:

Basking in his own power and glory, Zall continued to laugh to himself, at his own folly, like a madman...



Yep, that's it. That's all. One sentence.


"That was fun"

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I'm writing an "extra chapter" set seven hundred years after this.

That would be the "final ending" if it was from the SW Universe, but treat it as "non-canon" to both the first story and SW :P


Probably another short story all together...  :-\


"That was fun"

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You never heard about the bomb scare? or aqua teen?  That's Ir, a Mooninite.  He's giving the finger to the world, not just you.


Some people in Boston placed these lite-brite images all over the town, and they were thought to be bombs, and were exploded and disected.  The people were arrested, and jsut for putting the harmless lite-brite images around town.




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Some people in Boston placed these lite-brite images all over the town, and they were thought to be bombs, and were exploded and disected.  The people were arrested, and jsut for putting the harmless lite-brite images around town.


Haha paranoia, it seems.


"That was fun"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yes, its about 80% done. Its longer than the others combined lol.


well, three chapters to a bonus installment I guess.


Bonus Chapter: Star Wars Universe-Specific The Return of Lord Zall


Dramatis Personae:


Lord Zall - Human Dark Jedi (Male), Dissapeared into the Unknown Reigons with his flagship Remeberance and fleet seven hundred years prior after winning a battle at Ennae, never seen or heard of since

Fneg'nil - Red Ssi-Ruuvi Jedi Master (Male), developed special lightsaber form for himself

Erra - Human (Female), operator of Ennae Station - a battle station/civillian space station



It has been seven hundred years since Zall dissapeared at the Second Battle of Ennae, the galaxy isn't what it used to be. Much has happpened, and to one that has been away, gathering his power, it is time to collect the galaxy.





Fneg'nil sat at the bar at Ennae Station and gazed out at the captivating swirling green clouds of the Gas Giant which the station orbited. He looked again at the swirling clouds then at the note in his hand, the words "Zall is returning" scribbled on it. If it were indeed true, then the Dark Jedi was returning after seven hundred years. As impossible as it may seem, the council was convinced, they even went as far as sending a Jedi to Ennae, Zall's last known position, to investigate. The words of the council members still rang in Fneg'nil's head. "We very well know this could easily be a hoax, no human lives for seven hundred years, not even a Jedi. If he is indeed returning, he is too dangerous to leave alone. That is why you are to go to Ennae, where we believe he is most likely to return." Fneg'nil laughed. They said it themselves - no human lives for seven hundred years. And if he did, his ship, a Praetor-class Star Battlecruiser, was outdated when he got it. Its an ancient relic by now, along with the rest of his defunct fleet of Imperial-II's. Ennae Station itself would be able to annihilate his entire fleet of seven hundred year old ships, providing they even functioned after that long without refit or resupply. Yet, Fneg'nil couldn't dismiss the feeling that something wasn't right.

"It looks like the council was right, I'm reading multiple unidentified hyperspace signals comming in. nothing existant now uses such...crude hyperdrives. It's Zall's fleet alright." Erra said, strolling in casually.

"You sure it isn't just some smuggelers with a bunch of salvaged ships?" Fneg'nil cringed. He never got used to his voice in Basic. He preferred Ssi-Ruuvi when he could use it.

"You ever seen a smuggeler fleet with forty ships over a kilometer long?"

"Good point." No smuggeler or pirate fielded a fleet of such behemoths, it was an easy way of getting caught.

"Anyhow, I had the station's cannons charged just in case, should they prove hostile."

"Hmm...well, it really doesn't seem he'll respond to...peaceful negotiations, will he?"

"How'd you guess?"

As they spoke, one by one, the ships of Zall's fleet appeared out of hyperspace. Indeed, the first ships that came out were seven-hundred year old Imperial-II star destroyers, looking fitting of running for seven hundred years without a repairs - semi-blasted-open hulls and blackend surfaces covered the ships. Much to Ennae Station's gunner's amazement, they began to deploy fighters and open fire on the station.

"Well, they're here." Erra stated.

"Yea, well...What the heck is that thing?" Fneg'nil exclaimed as a large, dark, triangular shape appeared.

Erra turned to face the direction Fneg'nil was pointing. "Im..possible... How did Zall get that?"

"Exactly. Now, it seems I have a job here after all." Fneg'nil got up from his seat, picked up his lightsaber-cane and walked briskly out of the bar.

Fneg'nil chose the worst possible hangar to land his starfighter in when he arrived at Ennae Station. It was closest to the battle, yes, but it was also the most vulnerable, and as such, when the Ssi-ruuvi Jedi reached the hangar, it was in a state of confusion, with stafighters scrambling to join the battle. Unfazed, Fneg'nil strode towards his personal starfighter, and entered it. At that moment, as he prepared to exit the hangar, a chunk of Star Destroyer struck the hangars force-field and disabled it, exposing it to the vacuum of space. Naturally, everything inside was sucked outinto the battle, and even those lucky enough to be inside a starfighter at the time was hurled out into the void, colliding with refitting equipment.

Fneg'nil cursed and activted his starfighter's propulsion system as it spun wildly, colliding with several others. He quickly flew up and over the battle, and surveyed the scene. There wer approximately 30 Star Destroyers alongside a large dark trianglular ship, with more Star Destroyers entereing the system once in a while. For their dismal appearance, something about the fleet made them much more...resilient than statistically possible. "No sign of the Remeberance, but Zall's sure got some new toys, newer than seven hundred years at least. Might as well take out some of their fleet before the flagship arrives." Fneg'nil headed back into the battle, and began taking down the outdated TIEs. Though unshielded, slow and and ancient, they proved somewhat of a challenge to destroy. They took several hits to destroy, and they fired with frieghtening accuracy for such outdated technology.

Nimbly piloting his much-more-up-to-date starfighter and cutting a path through the swarms of strangely-tough TIEs, Fneg'nil approached the large triangle. "Any ID?"

"No, not yet, but hey, who needs to know what that is? Fill it with torpedoes." Erra shouted out of the comm.

"Yea yea..." Fneg'nil lined up directly along the center of the triange and flew towards the protrusion that he determined would be the most logical location to place the bridge and unleashed a volley of torpedoes. They struck the structure, and split it from the main hull, sending ribbons of fire spiraling into the surrounding battle. The ship heaved and split roughly in two along the center, the two halves slowly spiraling away from each other in symmetry. Fneg'nil, satisfied that the large ship was destroyed, pull upwards, and concentrated on the TIEs.

"What's this...I'm getting multiple hyperspace signatures from the far side of the battle. Over sixty unidentified ships. Watch out, these things are newer, we didn;t detect them with the other batch, they must have some kind of jammer..." All at once, a second fleet of ships entered the system, the ships in the as visually unspaceworthy as the other fleet.

"Ha, its just another rag-tag fleet like this last one we're mopping up." Fneg'nil replied.




Zall sat at the throne in the bridge of the heavily-modified Preator-class Battlecruiser Remeberance, watching the battle unfold below his cloaked fleet. The two little spectacles below were entertaining enough for the time being. Zall fiddled with his fingers and smiled. "Those fools don't know what they're up against!" Zall laughed, "They think that simply because I dissapeared for seven hundred years, that I have not aquired new equipment, nor new knowledge? Then I would be dead!"

Zall's voice echoed in the empty bridge deck. Of course, everyone else had naturally died six hundred years ago, but Zall did not let their bodies rest. He had willed them to remain functional and they continued to run the ships of his fleet as mindless drones. Of course, Zall knew of how to preserve their sentinence, he had done so upon himself, but it was ultimately more satisfying to have an army of obeying creatures that spared no thought for themselves. He liked to give them orders verbally, just as a game for himself - he could have just as easily transmitted his thoughts into their minds and they would obey.

"That's enough fun for today. Uncloak the fleet and annihilate them!"




Fneg'nil was busy balancing time between dogfights with ancient, yet sturdy, TIE fighters and bombing runs on the capital ships when Zall's true fleet emerged from cloaking.

"Uhh...I don't think I need to announce this one..." Erra voiced over the comm.

"No I believe you do not."

Breaking off from the dogfight, Fneg'nil headed towards the large ship from which he sensed a powerful force-sensitive being.

"That big ugly one," Fneg'nil muttered, "is the flagship."

"And you know because...?"

"Its painted on the hull."


Fneg'nil easily identified the Remeberance, but the other components of Zall's cloaked fleet was a unknown to him.

"So, he was playing with us all along." Fneg'nil mused, unleashing another volley of torpedoes at Zall's flagship.

To Fneg'il's surprise, they reflected off the surface of the ship and headed back for his starfighter.

"Uh...not good." Fneg'nil muttered to himself, "Those rockets locked on to ME?"

Even while doing evasive maneuvers and the best missile-evasion techniques, the torpedoes managed to hit the nible starfighter and send it spiralling at the suppositively shielded bridge of the Remeberance.




Zall laughed as he watched the starfighters pitiful attempt to destroy the bride backfire. Zall laughed when the torpedoes struck the starfighter. Zall stopped laughing when it came hurtling towards where he was sitting. Then, Zall thought of something and continued to laugh.





Fneg'nil stepped out of the wreckage of his starfighter and into the empty bridge deck of the flagship Remeberance. As he did so, a hysterical voice filled the chamber.

"I have been waiting for you, lizard." The voice laughed.

"Zall," Fneg'nil spat, igniting his lightsaber cane, "reveal yourself!"

"Why, that is no fun. In fact, its only fun to watch youlose your mind as search for me...hahahaha!!! Just like what I did to the crew, it was ehilirating!"

"You're a madman, Zall, stop this at once."

"Stop talking like you know me, lizard. And oh, I have no doubt I am mad, but my will is more powerful than yours, petty Jedi."

"We shall see about that. Reveal yourself"

Fneg'nil searched the room with his mind's eye, prying into every corner for a clue that would give away Zall's location. Yes, he had mastered concealing his position perfectly, but those who are overconfident, escpeically those who are mad, are always sloppy in their work. Indeed, that was what happened.

"Found you."

Fneg'nil through his lightsaber cane at Zall and he appeared, activated his single blade, and deflected it with a sideswipe.

"Not bad, lizard. Where'd they teach you that? The terrarium?"

"Overconfidence is every madman's downfall." Fneg'nil said as he caught his cane in his hand. "Now that you're in plain sight, let us begin in earnest."

"Gladly." Zall laughed hysterically as he leapt from where he stood.

Fneg'nil easily sidestepped his overeager downward strike and returned with at slash of his own. Zall, blocking and spinning, returned with a blast of lightning and slash, both of which were blocked. As the two fought, the battle outside raged on, most of Zall's false fleets as well as the station's fighter screen destroyed and the cloaked fleet moving in to bombard the station at close range.

After a minute trading lightsaber and force attacks as well as insults, Fneg'nil lashed at Zall with his tail, which managed to place the demented Lord Zall off balance. Fneg'nil slashed at Zall, but Zall dissapeared.

"You fight well for a lizard," Zalls voice laughed hysterically. "but ultimately you fail to see that you cannot strike me down. I can return from a spirit, you cannot defeat me"

Zall reappeared on top of the console where he stood when Fneg'nil hurled his staff at him.

"You think that death does not obey my will?" Zall laughed again. "And you're the fool who believes that you are a Jedi, a master at that."

"I do not indulge myself in knowing forbidden secrets of the Dark Side as openly as you, and you yourself are proof of its effects. It has turned you away from reason."

"All the better. Rational thinking is a limitation! The force has so much more to offer than petty powers!" Zall tossed his head back and laughed. As he did that, Fneg'nil prepared a blast of energy that would not only destroy Zall's body, but incapitate his spirit as well.

"Interesting. I am intrigued to see how so." Fneg'nil continued casually, as if nothing has happened.

"Let me show you..." Zall raised his hands, and laughing, he brought forth holocrons of long-deceased sith lords and activated them. "Return to the mortal world!"

Several Sith Lords began to materialize and Fneg'nil realizied that if he did not strike now, he would never have the chance.

Unleashing the blast of force energy at the vulnerable Zall, Fneg'nil shouted "DIE!"

The bolt struck Zall's body and energy coursed up and down it consuming it as well as its spirit and bringing it into oblivion. The half-materiallized sith lords faded once again and there was silence. No sound from the battle, no sound of a madman laughing.

"Overconfidence is your weakness." Fneg'nil headed to the lifts to the hangar. His starfighter would not be operational after that crash, and he figured he might as well steal one of those ancient TIE Fighters.

"As it is yours." Zall reappeared behind Fneg'nil and cleaved the Jedi in two.



To be continued (?)


"That was fun"

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