Re: The Unofficial Bar Spam Thread! Come Spam With Us!

[Mikan Cyclone]

I dont' know why this was locked in the first place.  We have every right to spam in the bar, and people haven't been spamming out of it.  We haven't done anything wrong with this thread, bring it back!

[Empireftw]

Yeah i think some one unlocked it and forgot to put it back spam ftw.

[Star Wars Man]

SPAMM ALL YOU WISH LOL

[Empireftw]

Spamity spam spam!!!!!!!  ;D

[Jedi Master Tofu]

SPAMSM LKDNHJnvcgfraejkfthgbut6sdnbgjksd76civgsdgaw3ognbfhgvt7wsdy7ir45dsjkfbsdvhgcuasdnfhugfcuinhju efjigtfydshnfju4wgyencfdrjitg7fedsmgercmrht bf7,bfkdsnsfbhsdgfkjnsdfhubsjkldbgseruibgjklsdfbvhysdbcjbsdvgfbds jbgfjsdbvhkdjcb zxgucvkzxhcyuhdbhfgbsdj bhudhfbvhdbvjuhz xcvjh jh vdhvbsdjbhvdbhasbhcxjchvgjksbcydhbvhdbvhdsbhjdbvjkdbgvkjsdbjvbsdjlbfjlebvsdojbdvj bhbjbuebhuebubfdsjb dsjksbbhjjbe hjubgoudb josbjgbdsojbvjklsdn bnfsdjlbnfsjdb jbfkjdsb fjbfjkbf jfjkfbsdhjbf hbfhjbfdbhfvasdtfqwuigr87wg3r7tu3r7hyfejirh3uh yr89uih t94yhio4yhu9rhfuhtferhju4erhuiothyruiogterhr

 

YTIN G G MH GFNG KOTJNT&RFYIHBR ZING!!!!!!@! WOOOWWWWTTT WOOOOTTTTTT YAY YING YARK PARK jwbgfyusdbfsdhbcsdvckjsdbnf SPM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM S:AM S:PAM SPAM SLOANM SOPAM SLPAM SPAM

[Empireftw]

Woot spam 85895829859589238598258904869083926849068968293486843928968-34068-0289468946898692489634 ;D > :( ??? : :-[ :-\ :-* :'( :-* :-\ :-[ : ??? > ;D

[Jedi Master Tofu]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

 

 

SPAM!!!!

[Guest]

I wanna spam, I'm gonna post random papers that I did for my english classes.

 

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

Soundtrack

 

Track 1: Blue Suede Shoes-Elvis Presley

Well, it's one for the money,

Two for the show,

Three to get ready,

Now go, cat, go.

 

But don't you step on my blue suede shoes.

You can do anything but lay off of my Blue suede shoes.

 

Well, you can knock me down,

Step in my face,

Slander my name

All over the place.

 

Do anything that you want to do, but uh-uh,

Honey, lay off of my shoes

Don't you step on my Blue suede shoes.

You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes.

 

You can burn my house,

Steal my car,

Drink my liquor

From an old fruitjar.

 

Do anything that you want to do, but uh-uh,

Honey, lay off of my shoes

Don't you step on my blue suede shoes.

You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes.

 

This selection might seem quite odd for such a dreary book as One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich but believe it or not this song actually has something to do with the book. In the book the main character Ivan or "Shukov" as he is more commonly called, is serving a ten year sentence in a Siberian slave labor camp. IF you didn't know, Siberia is a very cold place. Special kinds of clothes are required to survive the harsh temperatures. One such article of clothing is a sort of boot like thing called "valenki". The prisoners consider their valenki to be one of there most (and only) valuable possessions. In Blue Suede Shoes dear old Elvis also expresses his utmost concern about his shoes. "You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes." Shukov and the other prisoners are used to being beaten up and other things but suffering the loss of one's valenki and made to wear some other pair was almost unbearable. "Ah, nothing had been so hard to part with in all his eight years in camps as that pair of boots!" Poor Shukov.

 

 

 

Track 2: Harder To Breath-Maroon 5

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable

So condescending unnecessarily critical

I have the tendency of getting very physical

So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

 

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here

This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear

You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone

Not fit to -----' tread the ground that I'm walking on

 

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

 

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head

You should know better you never listened to what I've said

Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat

Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

 

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

 

Does it kill

Does it burn

Is it painful to learn

That it's me that has all the control

 

Does it thrill

Does it sting

When you feel what I bring

And you wish that you had me to hold

 

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

is there anyone out there cuz its gettin harder and harder to breathe

 

This should be self explanatory. Shukov is in Siberia right? In the one day that takes place in the book the average temperature was -17 degrees. It's very "cold outside and you got nobody to love". That last part about nobody to love also applies to the book. Because poor Shukov is far away from his family and everyone else is unfriendly and bad tempered. "There wouldn't be a warm corner for a whole month. Not even a doghouse. And fires were out of the question. There was nothing to build them with." Poor, cold Shukov.

 

Track 3: Amish Paradise-"Weird Al" Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain

But that's just perfect for an Amish like me

You know, I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows

Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool

And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline

Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine

Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

 

We been spending most our lives

Living in an Amish paradise

I've churned butter once or twice

Living in an Amish paradise

It's hard work and sacrifice

Living in an Amish paradise

We sell quilts at discount price

Living in an Amish paradise

 

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week

I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek

I really don't care, in fact I wish him well

'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved

An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of

I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat

And my homies all I agree I look good in black... fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears

We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years

But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare

We're just technologically impaired

 

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar

Not a single luxury

Like Robinson Caruso

It's as primitive as can be

 

We been spending most our lives

Living in an Amish paradise

We're just plain and simple guys

Living in an Amish paradise

There's no time for sin and vice

Living in an Amish paradise

We don't fight, we all play nice

Living in an Amish paradise

 

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter

Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another

Think you're really rightous? Think you're pure in heart?

Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like

On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife

So don't be vain and don't be whiny

Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie

 

We been spending most our lives

Living in an Amish paradise

We're all crazy Mennonites

Living in an Amish paradise

There's no cops or traffic lights

Living in an Amish paradise

But you'd probably think it bites

Living in an Amish paradise

Good old Weird Al, always giving us a laugh. If you thought that track one was odd this one might seem even more so. In the book Shukov is at a slave labor camp, where they work for most of the time. The prisoners and the Amish have much in common. They work, have no technology, and are severely disciplined. But the similarities stop there. " At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone..." After several years of slave labor I think my mind might be gone too. As seen in this next quote they have also lost their minds from working all day for several years straight. "Better to growl and submit. If you were stubborn they broke you." I used that in lack of a better quote from the book but it will do for now. Eventually the sheer amount of work will break you and you will submit and become a mindless worker drone. Poor, cold, tired, Shukov.

 

Track 4: Another Brick in the Wall-Pink Floyd

[Part 1]

Daddy's flown across the ocean

Leaving just a memory

A snapshot in the family album

Daddy, what else did ya leave for me?

Daddy, whatcha leave behind for me?

All in all it was just a brick in the wall

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall

 

[Part 2]

We don't need no education

We don't need no thought control

No dark sarcasm in the classroom

Teachers, leave them kids alone

Hey, Teachers, leave those kids alone

All in all its just another brick in the wall

All in all you're just another brick in the wall

 

We don't need no education

We don't need no thought control

No dark sarcasm in the classroom

Teachers, leave them kids alone

Hey, Teachers, leave those kids alone

 

All in all you're just another brick in the wall

All in all you're just another brick in the wall

 

[Part 3]

I don't need no arms around me

I don't need no drugs to calm me

I have seen the writing on the wall

Don't think I need anything at all

No, don't think I need anything at all

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall

All in all you were all just bricks in the wall

 

The connection between the book and this song are two-fold. Firstly there is the literal meaning. In the book Shukov and his squad are building a wall of a building. Shukov lays brick after brick after brick after brick after brick in the wall. This song is full of bricks in the wall. " All in all it was all just bricks in the wall". Secondly there is the deeper meaning behind this. Part one could tell about Shukov leaving his family. This part of the song establishes the idea of everything being "another brick in the wall" something thing that causes Shukov to slowly disassociate himself from society. Part 2 is the rebellion of the students against their abusive teacher. The Teacher could represent communist opression from Stalin and the Soviet Union " Teachers, leave them kids alone". Shukov was a dutiful soilder before he was wrongly convicted of treason after escaping from the germans and was thought to be a spy by his fellow soilders. Part 3 could be about that he dosen't reall need anything anymore." I don't need no arms around me I don't need no drugs to calm me I have seen the writing on the wall Don't think I need anything at all" He has adapted to the brutal enviorment of a labor camp and finds no comfort anywhere, nor can he find any. "All in all you were all just bricks in the wall". Poor, cold, tired, oppressed Shukov.

 

Track 5: The Immolation Scene-John Williams

 

This is a song without anyone blabbing away in which often used for soundtracks rather than songs with lyrics in them. Since my computer is retarded I can seem to burn the songs I picked onto a CD so I won't be getting any extra credit. @#?!$%!!! Also that means that whoever is reading this will have no idea what the song sounds like unless they have heard it which is very unlikely. Anyway the song is of utter sadness. It is from Star Wars: Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith. Immediately upon seeing that some will groan because everyone hates the prequels. But if you look beyond the back actors, horrible dialogue, and overuse of special effects then you will see the immensity of it. More specifically the music is really good and this song is at the part where Anakin is burning alive. I picked this one because at the end Shukov reflects that he still has a long time to be there and there is a sad undertone to that last part.

[Guest]

another one!

 

 

The SlaughterBurger

 

Welcome to the SlaughterBurger, the world’s favorite farm animal gore-fest. Founded in 1945 by Ex-Butcher Phil Rupp. He came up with the new idea that you should be able to watch your food being made. Even if it was still alive… 

Today it is the gallstone in the body of the fast food industry. (It is also famous for it’s obscure metaphors.) SlaughterBurger also has the widest variety of meat of any known fast food establishment, anything from your common farm animals like cows, chickens, ducks, and horses to animals you didn’t even think could be eaten like dogs, cats, kangaroo rats, and even beavers. Just order your food, walk to the window and watch your animal of choice mercilessly slaughtered by our skilled chefs wielding chainsaws.   

Pick a wide selection of how you want your meat prepared: raw, incinerated, gassed, boiled, rotted, burnt, blasted, obliterated, smashed, stoned, disemboweled, buried, molding, beaten, and much more…

This Brochure will guide you through our amazing establishment, describing the sensory details of this unique place...

 

CAUTION!

(Brochure and contents are not for the squeamish)

 

 

 

 

The Taste of Meat

 

     Meat is like a work of Art, it is unique and pure. Meat is the most wonderful of all substances. Both filling and tantalizing The SlaughterBurger specializes in meat. Pick a wide selection of how you want your meat prepared: raw, incinerated, gassed, boiled, rotted, burnt, blasted, obliterated, smashed, stoned, greased, roasted, charred, grinded, baked, broiled, disemboweled, buried, molding, beaten, and much more… Our Prize dish is our Bovine Bowels Stew. It is cow intestines floating grease soup. This wonderful dish will set your taste buds ablaze with its warm greasy meatiness. Our other dish Chicken Carnage is the nice stiff yet chewy taste of the skin on chicken legs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Up close and Personal Watching animals become food

 

  Watching a cow being killed is one of the most moving experiences you can witness in your lifetime. Our animals can be killed in many ways: hacked to death, incinerated, poisoned, smashed, hit by a truck, impaled, boiled to death, frozen, beaten, drowned, and the public favorite…  Massacred with a chain saw. You can watch the blood spatter all over the walls and the cow roll its eyes crazily as it is hacked to death by a demonic buzzing machine. Watching the chef slash its hide open, spilling intestines all over the floor with the bodily fluids washing over the chef’s boots is like watching a work of art. The bodily fluids are made into soft drinks and shakes. The meat of course, becomes the food. Novelty Items like the hooves and horns are sold in the gift shop. The hide and bones are made into toys for the kid’s meals. The memory of watching a harmless animal getting slaughtered will stay with you forever…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Glorious Stench of Meat

 

    One of the best things about meat is its distinctive smell. Meat has several distinctive smells, all which can be smelled at SlaughterBurger. We have a special room where you can sample smell of all kids of meat. If are braver than that we will take you to the slaughterhouse, where you smell the collective stench of dead animals. Some of our smells are available as perfumes, colognes, and deodorant. Our more popular scents are Essence of Moose, which is the pleasing musky odor of a wet moose. Quintessence of Duck is the seductive smell of a rotting duck, very popular for perfumes. Flagrance of Flamingo is the overpowering aroma of a pickled flamingo. These smells are an intoxicating story of success in the perfume industry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cleanliness is out Top Priority

 

  Despite all the meaty goodness of our establishment, our building and staff are well trained in the cleaning arts. You can feel the perfectly smooth and uninhibited surfaces of our chairs and tables. Our staff has a religion of washing hands and cleaning their tools and other utensils. Do not be alarmed by the horrible appearance of our bloodstained staff, blood is one of the cleanest substances known to man we coat our slaughterhouses with it to inhibit any disease spreading to our valued guests. There is also a play land for the kids called Grimy Land. There the kids can feel the squishy difference between large intestines and small intestines with troughs filled with assorted innards.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Music of Carnage

 

    Ahhh… The Sweet Music of a chainsaw. Our customers enjoy the arousing sounds of a ferocious buzzing chainsaw and the plaintive screams of the animals being butchered. We have several custom sound tracks featuring several sound selections of Animals being killed. Our more popular sound tracks include: The Donkey of the Opera, you will be surprised at all the screechy sounds a donkey can make. A Cow falling off the Roof, it was unknown before now that cows could produce sonic booms. Curious George gets too curious, is a best seller about the many ways a monkey can die. All of theses soundtracks are available at SlaughterBurger and you receive one free if can eat a whole cow.

[Logan Felipe]

At Ghostly Substance's request, what I have found is no ordinary spam.

I give you...

Satirical Spam!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmmONHRI6No

 

!Muy divertimentido! ;D ;D ;D

(Very Entertaining!)

 

Oh, and BTW...

 

SPAM

[Empireftw]

Spam?  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Mythyk]

O Kakstan

 

Kazakstan is the greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by little girls.

Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium,

Other Central Asian countries have inferior potassium.

Kazakhstan home of pictured swimming pool,

It left 30 meter a great 6 meter,

Fill treasure system a power to behold,

Intermoving ten percent of human solid waste,

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place,

From planes of Tarashik to Northern dales of Jew Town

Kazakhstan freind of Polis and Uzbekistan,

They many nosy people with mold in their graves,

Kazakhstan industry best in world,

We invented toffee and trouser-wears,

Kazakhstan's prositutes cleanest in the region,

Exept of course mall too many stalls,

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very place,

From planes of Tarashik to Northern dales of Jew Town,

Come wrestle mighty men of Salbardina,

Conjunction with the crazy, to live off his space!

Edited November 21, 2006 by Mythyk

[chip5541]

I DIDN'T UNLOCK THIS...I SWEAR I DIDN'T. IT WAS HIM *Points to Chip5541*

 

;D I just wanted to get my AOD spam... errrr pictures in  ;D

[Empireftw]

"begun the spam wars have" *plays the cool music that comes after it.*

[Jedi Master Tofu]

SPAM!!!!! WOWOWOOWOWOWOWOOWOW dfdg dhsgvcjksdnfvsdyufn sdjkbvjs klerf\3652564892165489215645655615446124864135489654916544215489135

468125445612317657514655134564654576545567145567145561 d1g68 s4135gf484g54685475455616 64656 51456 4567465156564564 6465 47654856564856645 56446865465654866551568145664556865454854564 546455465464554654645646645611212155623156897/965413251345648546213516546546515468454546 465546546546546546546546aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

SPAM

[Empireftw]

      /\

  /  \ >

 

Woot light saber battle spam

[Mythyk]

I HOPE MY BODY CAN TAKE IT!

[Empireftw]

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH????????????????????

[Jedi Master Tofu]

ALWAYS INCLUDE THE WORD SPAM IN YOUR POST!!!!

[Mythyk]

ALWAYS INCLUDE THE WORD SPAM IN YOUR POST!!!!

Th3r3 ar3 n0 rul3s in t3h spam lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

This is the spam thread for god sakes, will there be NOTHING here but spam.  So the word spam is implied through the entire thing. LOLZ SPMA N00B!!!!!1!!1!!!!!11@

[Empireftw]

I like to..............SPAM

[Mikan Cyclone]

I SPAM DONT SPAM HAVE SPAM TO SPAM SAY SPAM SPAM SPAM IF SPAM I SPAM DONT SPAM WANT SPAM TO SPAM!!

[Empireftw]

HAppy spamgiving every one 

[Jedi Master Tofu]

SOPKMA dnasijfnsegniouesnhguierhgfuvrnhegeruidjifn;vjn

dfg

 

FRICKN' MONKEY BALLS!!!!

 

SPAM!!!

[Empireftw]

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P