Rate Story Ideas

[Dorkthehunter]

This is for people to post their story ideas and for others to rate them.(who would have thought of that??)

Please, don't copy anyone else's ideas or I will come to your house, eat all of your cookies, steal all of your lollipops, and then huff and puff and blow your house down.(i'm serious) Don't plagerize. Thank you.

 

You can post an idea, with at least some background info, maybe a little teaser, but nothing too long.

[Darth Noob]

hers a story.a long time ago in a galexy far far away there was a ugly jedi he was so ugly that every budy died the end. ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

[Dorkthehunter]

I would give that a 0/10!!! F minus minus! It didn't have much of a plot, setting, or theme and only one character! ;D

[Megajames]

please don' post junk here, any how, I am doing a story about clone comados, I will post it when the plot is finsihed

[Stellar_Magic]

Stellar digs through his files... Aha!

 

To start off this discussion I’ll give you a couple of quotes from Timothy Zahn’s Vision of the Future and Survivor’s Quest…

 

Outbound Flight:  Why was it really destroyed and how?

 

“At any rate Doriana explained the entire situation to Thrawn and convinced him that Outbound Flight had to be destroyed.  Two weeks later, when the ship arrived in Chiss Space, Thrawn was waiting.” - Admiral Parck

 

“No offense, Admiral, but it sounds to me like it’s your perceptions that need an overhaul.  How can the slaughter of a bunch of Jedi Masters minding their own business be anything but murder?” - Mara Jade

 

“You’ll understand Mara.  In time, you’ll understand.” – Admiral Park

 

“We also know that there were eighteen Jedi aboard Outbound Flight, and yet Thrawn was still able to beat them…” – Luke Skywalker

 

“It could be that Thrawn had a bigger fleet than anyone wants to admit.”  - Mara Jade Skywalker

 

The Nameless Threat:

 

“From what?  You soft complacent female. You think that because you lounge around your quiet worlds behind a ring of warships that the rest of the galaxy is a safe place to live?  There are a hundred different threats out there that would freeze your blood if you knew about them…” - Stent to Mara Jade

 

There’s something out there isn’t there.  Something terrible.” – Luke Skywalker

 

Star Wars: Rapora Wars

 

"War and conflict are the most constant portion of the known universe, they produce change, social evolution, but compared to those we now face no threat or conflict has measured up." -Holo documentary, The New Foes, by Wolam Tser

 

Thirty years after the battle of Endor with the New Republic slowly changing into the fledgling Galactic Federation of Free Alliances a new threat arose on the horizon, the Rapora.

 

The Rapora are by no means a new part of the galaxy, nor are they a race which hasn’t taken up arms, their history predates both the Old Republic and the Jedi Order.

 

The history of the Rapora originally began during the reign of the Infinite Empire.  Created by the ruling portion of the infinite empire, the Rapora were genetically engineered as weapons against their foes.  Every one was force sensitive, every one was a warrior, and every one was indoctrinated into a religious reverence of those who demonstrated the full extent of the powers of the dark side of the force.  Then the Infinite Empire fell, its members being scattered across the galaxy.  The Rapora ended up on a lonely world in the unknown region and would remain there until a Chiss Expansionary Defense Force patrol, under the command of Mit’thrawn’nuruodo stumbled across the world.

 

It was as though a darkness inside the Raporan soul had been awaken, the Chiss Patrol was sent reeling, loosing nearly all of its ships.  When word of the events eventually got to Senator Palpatine, he took a ship there to make diplomatic contact.  The Rapora met the vessel as it arrived, but surprised by the presence of a heavily trained dark side adept, they struck a quiet agreement.  Using his connections with the Trade Federation, he managed to smuggle the design for the Droideka to the world, along with more advanced weapons designs.

 

The Rapora council, the leadership for the world, quietly plotted to use the designs furnished by Palpatine against there neighbors.  In an attempt to forestall this shortly after his destruction of outbound flight, Thrawn launched a preemptive strike on the planet, forcing the Rapora’s plans to be delayed over fifty years.  Once Thrawn achieved Grand Admiral in the Imperial Navy he began to plan for the oncoming threat from the Rapora, funneling resources into the unknown regions and establishing what would become the Empire of the Hand and a second more secretive organization, The United Defense Alliance.

 

The Rapora however learned the strategic value of preemptive strikes.  Their first strike was a debilitating blow to the Empire of the Hand, the complete destruction of the Hand of Thrawn complex.  The staggering blow enabled them to engage in a broad campaign against the Chiss Consortium along with an alliance of various worlds including the Vagaari.

 

The Chiss Consortium, desperate and hard pressed called on Galactic Federation of Free Alliances for assistance.  A fleet under the command of General Gavin Darklighter was sent into the region.  Several Jedi accompanied them.  With the defeats that followed the realization of the sheer danger of the Rapora threat led to open war.

[Dorkthehunter]

Sounds good....but there's always some new threat that emerges that they didn't think about. I would give the idea a 8/10. The Rapata species you're talking about sounds a lot like the Rakatan species before the Republic that made the Star Forge. Are they one in the same?

[Stellar_Magic]

No, the Rakata were the political leadership and burecrats of the Infinite Empire... The Rapora were its military.

 

We had our own RPG on SWR that was Rapora Wars... Good Times!

 

A couple fun moments from the RPG...

 

"We're not going to make it are we," Mara asked flatly as she keyed up the weapons console. Outside the viewport they could see the rest of the evacuation ships climbing toward space. Ahead the Star destroyer Right to Rule could be seen crawling out of the gravity well. A Raporan Cruiser moving to pursue.

 

A brilliant red warning light lit up on the console beside Luke, "I guess not enemy fighters, coming in at mark two!"

 

"Alright, weapons active, lets show them how Jedi do in space," She keyed the proton torpedo launcher as the first of the enemy fighters flashed passed the viewport. A brilliant blue missile careened after it and impacted destroying the starfighter.

 

The Jade Shadow rocked as a pair of plasma bolts slapped against her shields, "He's on us, going evasive!" Luke threw the craft nose down and thrust the throttle forward. Seconds later two Raporan craft barrel rolled past the viewport. Using the laser cannons Mara nailed the rear fighter and it spun off into space trailing flames.

 

Then a familiar voice came across the comm, "Skywalkers drop back to the center of our formation, from there you may do the rest of us some good."

 

"On it Admiral," Luke answered as he rolled into the center of the convoy. As he did he saw an old stormtrooper transport's cargo compartment burn away and a series of bodies drifted off into space. Raporan fighters slashed through the formation cutting those slower craft to pieces.

 

Then a pair of brilliant concussion missiles slammed across one of the Raporan fighters. It detonated in a flash of brilliant white sparks and debris as the missile boat that killed it flashed by. Seconds later the comm crackled, "This is Omega lead to Jade Shadow, there's two many fighters to stop em all, what we miss you'll have to pick up."

 

"Roger Omega, we'll do what we can."

 

Suddenly a panicked call flashed across the comm, "This is the Lambda shuttle Knowledge is Power, we've picked up a number of Rapora on our tale, Admiral Parck is aboard we need immediate assistance!"

 

Luke glanced to the rear sensor and felt his jaw drop. Suddenly a missile lanced toward the shuttle then there were eight of them lancing for the tri wing craft as it lumbered into an evasive maneuver. They hit in sequence blowing into the shields then tearing apart the hull as the comm cut off in a scream. The two movable wings spun free trailing sparks and plasma in the darkness, "By the force."

 

"Sith, Raporan cruiser ten kilometers and closing he's right ontop of us!" Mara ducked as the terrifying dull brown shape of the vessel careened by mere meters overhead. Suddenly as they watched in awe a quad antistarfighter battery nestled between the engines swung to bear and a volley of brilliant red blasts slammed against the shields. Flashes of sparks and debris lit up the cockpit as the Jade Shadow shuddered from the onslaught.

 

Then as an alarm wailed signaling shield failure Luke, Mara, and Ben saw a turret with a glowing orange barrel slowly spin toward their battered ship. With a flash of orange plasma a blast ripped into the ship's hull. Mara in panic threw all power to the thrusters redlining them and not noting the damage done to the power generator.

 

Suddenly they were out of the gravity well and with an audible sigh of relief Luke pulled down on the hyperspace levers. Behind him the four remaining transports lunged for the Star Destroyer's hanger. All of them made it just as the ventral and aft shields of the ship failed. The heavy turbolasers along both sides of the vessel were vaporized from plasma fire and the port shield generator had been destroyed. A gapping hole in the side of the star destroyer was clearly visible as it leapt to hyperspace. The hole was the size of a corellian gunship.

 

Just four light years away from Nirauan the Jade Shadow fell out of hyperspace. Mara and Luke both strained their eyes fearing a trap, only when Mara glanced down at her displays did the truth set in.

 

Their ship was failing, its power generator nearing critical, its hyperdrive damaged, and they were in an unknown system. Pulling what little power they could risk Luke sent a distress call across the holonet to Booster Terrik and Talon Karrde along with their location. Then every one of them squeezed into an escape pod as the Shadow's orbit around the closest planet with a breathable atmosphere deteriated. As the pod fell toward the world Mara and Luke watched in silence as the Jade Shadow detonated above them sending parts of it in all directions to reign down for hundreds of years hence. The Shadow, a vessel which had in truth been the Skywalkers’ home for the last several years, was gone.

 

Later on...

 

Obi-wan's home was perched high on a plateau overlooking the jundland wastes. Luke had been there but a few times, but the last time he'd found the place empty of anything that could have helped him to pull together the remnants of the Jedi.

 

Now Luke thought his eyes were decieving him, the place seemed to come alive as he stepped into the door, the signs of destruction had disappeared and been replaced by what he'd remembered from his first visit. The damage and looting, the emptyness had been nothing but an illusion, created before Old Ben had left. Now it had been lifted.

 

Young Ben, Luke's own son now sat where he'd sat listening to Obi-wan talk about the ways of the Jedi. R2 stood hsi dome whirring from side to side studying the room and gave an electronic moan of rememberence.

 

Mara glanced aroudn the room fascinated, her trained eye studying the basic amenities, this had been the place Luke had first learned of his abilities, from the man who'd been his first master.

 

With a slam the door of the hut slammed shut behind them, a gust of wind having pushed it in, as Luke felt his insides go cold. He remembered the feeling well, the sheer wrongness that seemed to dominate a place which had been overwhelmed by the dark side of the force.

 

The other's felt it also as Ben suddenly began to glance around the room, his face contorted with fear. Then a whisper of movement betrayed their fear as a voice echoing across incalcuable distances filled the air, "Luke, you must unlearn what you have learned, open your mind to the totalitarity of the force."

 

"Ben?" Luke turned to see the shimmering figure. Mara stepped to his side and touched him and then she to saw Obi-wan Kenobi sitting on the simple chair in the corner of the room.

 

"Long ago I settled here to watch you grow. But the Jedi hunters were more active then you can imagine. I found myself forced to search for a refuge in the force, much as yoda had, and I found it beneath this house. A wellspring where the force itself has been contorted around the violence of an incident from long ago."

 

"A place that felt like an emotional blood stain," Mara said coldly, feeling the cold fear, anger, and hatred which flowed from beneath the home.

 

"I had little choice, if I hadn't I would have been found and exterminated, only now do I know what happened here," Obi-wan stood and walked across the chamber to the side of a wall, he bent down then stepped down through the floor and disappeared. Luke hurried tot he spot and felt around the stone floor till his hands came to rest on the edge of what must have been a long sealed chamber deep beneath inches of sand on the ground floor. The snap hiss of a lightsaber filled the room as Mara ignited her blade and bent down over the spot and nodded. She plunged down and sliced a round plug which fell after she finished the cut. With a resounding thud the stone hit the floor below it and broke.

 

Luke bent down to look and saw the glittering image of Obi-wan below him. Artoo produced a glow rod from one of his compartments and Luke lit it, then dropped into the chamber below. Mara dropped down beside him as he slowly circled the room with the beam from the glow rod. The floor was a polished red marble, which was foreign to the world. It was arranged to form a giant circular compass rose around which a ring of black stone lay. The compass glittered from impressed gems and diamonds as the beam cast over it. The walls of the chamber were mostly intact and Luke could see old plastisteel beams placed to keep the room intact. Most of them seemed to have once been buried within columns which were worn away by the effect of time.

 

Luke turned to Obi-wan, "What is this place?"

 

"The Jedi Council never found out, there are thousands of chambers and ruins like this scattered around the galaxy. Every one seems to seethe of the dark side of the force. Many of which had signs of battles from times long gone."

 

"As does this one," Mara said bending over the rusted remains of what must have been a steel suite of armor. Beside it was a spear with a styling that seemed somehow familiar. The armor's center looked melted from blast that had penetrated the armor. Beside the suit was a helmet shapped for a head that couldn't have been humanoid. Mara picked it up and rolled it over in her hands, "Why aren't there any bodies?"

 

Obi-wan smiled slightly, "The chamber is to old, over eight hundred thousand years old." He glanced at the end of the chamber, "Remember Luke, do not underestimate the powers of the emperor."

 

Luke turned and felt himself step back in horror. There in the center was a statue twenty meters tall with a face he wished he'd never recognized. Cloathed in a dark cloak the figure of the emperor sat in a simple throne. His eyes were made from a pair of gold orbs that seemed to stare back at anyone who looked upon them.

 

Luke turned back to Obi-wan his mouth agape and saw nothing but the dust drifting down from the ceiling.

 

Slowly Luke and Mara both felt a chill run down their spines as he slowly turned to face the statue. Above one of the uplifted hands of the statue a galaxy slowly spun, its appearnce terrifyingly familiar. The image was identical to one they'd seen before.

 

Luke felt his breath leave him as Mara spoke quietly, "Those that are ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it."

 

* * *

 

Ben glanced down the small hole Mara and Luke had gone down his eyes searching the darkness to catch a glimpse of his parents. Suddenly a strong tatooed arm closed around his neck as a hand slapped over his mouth. Within seconds, starved of oxygen, Ben slumped forward like the powered down droid behind him.

 

Shren nodded as Darth Malice lifted the boy and tossed him over his shoulder. She spoke in her mouthpiece, "Mission Accomplished," when every shutter and door of the hovel slammed shut except for one.

 

There standing in the backlight of the tatooine desert, a man glared angrily at the two of them. His voice spoke with harsh unrestrained power, "I warned you..." His vocie disappeared behind the hum of his violet blade.

 

Darth Malice felt his hands tremble slightly as he drew his lightsaber and ignited it, the sole blade humming through the darkness.

 

The man smiled slightly at him then struck his purple blade hissing through the air toward its target. Darth Malice twisted away as the blade sliced into his outer robes, leaving them in tatters. He dropped the boy Ben onto the ground and deflected the hot energy blade before the man could twist it back toward him.

 

Shren spoke quickly into her commlink as the man advanced on Malice, "Condition Spike Cycle, we need help." She turned back toward the fight just in time to duck as the man's lightsaber hurtled toward her. She dove into her cloak and withdrew her orange saber and ignited it, "Malice, bracket him!"

 

Darth Malice had already begun sliding to a point opposite Shren anticipating her orders. Behind him Ben slowly stirred his hands gropping forward across the floor. The man smiled calmly as Shren slunk toward him. She struck and the man redirected the blow forcing Darth Malice to deflect the blade from him. Shren swore, the man was planning on using their attacks to engage each other.

 

Ben suddenly knelt down beside the hole in the floor and reached out with the force. Mara felt her soon and spun toward the entrance of the chamber, "Luke!"

 

Luke was already unfastening his lightsaber, "Two of them, for now anyway." Mara scrambled toward the opening in the ceiling and began to pull herself through when suddenly her lightsaber popped free from her belt and soared into hands of a man squaring off against to widely space opponents.

 

As she straightened the doors of the house burst open and a squad of twelve Raporan warriors sped into the room. Mara starred in horror and grabbed Ben's hand and pulled him back through the entrance and into the cavern below.

 

"You don't have any more tricks up your sleeve do you?" Mara yelled as a plasma bolt flashed down from the hole and smashed into the ground.

 

Seryk shook his head as he leveled his blaster, "No, any idea what these guys have as personal equipment?"

 

Suddenly a disk whirred down from the hole and shot toward them three red blades flashed blightly as Seryk rolled forward away from the attack. The disk turned around and sped back toward them. Mara made a gesture with her hand and sent the disk spinning upward into the ceiling where it was securely jammed into the slit it had cut itself.

 

Then a Rapora warrior dropped down the hole, its hands clasped firmly around an activated lightsaber. Seryk stepped back as he triggered a burst which the creature deflected. Fumbling he grabbed a frag grenade from his pocket and through it at the creature using the force. The grenade smashed into the creature's chest plate and flung him back into the wall then detonated. Its armor tore apart from the blast, slicing one of its hands clean off with a piece of shrapnel and peppering the rest of his body with fragments. The creature stood and tossed aside its destroyed helmet as blood ran down its fractured Jaw. Mara couldn't believe her eyes knowing the creature should have fainted from the pain. Then whizzing through the air the lightsaber equipped disk flashed through its neck and dropped the creature to the floor.

 

The disk sped back toward them its blades deactivated and Ben reached out and caught it. His face twisted into the grim display Mara always had when in combat, "What now?"

 

Another figured dropped down through the hole, his brown robes burned and singed, his face a glow with the force. He marched past them his long dirty blond hair visible in the darkness and flung out his hand. Suddenly a large chunk of stone fell away to reveal the desert beyond. He turned to Luke as a Sekotan ship slid into the newly made entrance, "Lets go."

 

* * *

 

Darth Malice gripped his lightsaber tight enough that the plastic of its handle shattered in his grip as he watched the Sekotan ship blast away, its drives clearly visible in the sky. It vanished as a force cloak was drapped over it. Slowly he turned back to the house and shuddered. Twelve Rapora warriors lay crumpled, their bodies smoking from electricity or the blade of a lightsaber.

 

Shren slowly rubbed her head as she looked at the wreckage, "We've set him loose." She kicked at a ragged piece of metal which had once been a rapora helmet, "Why did we ever come here!"

 

Darth Malice felt fear begin to nip at his anger, "I've never seen a warrior such as that Jedi, if he is a Jedi, such skill with a blade is not natural, and the losses..."

 

Shren shivered despite the heat, "Are far worse then what the objective was worth." She sighed, "Fortunately for us they're still trapped on the planet."

 

Darth Malice looked at her with shock, "What?"

 

She smiled, "Don't you know, that ship only has enough breathable air for three if you use a trance, no they'll stay on this world, and I know how we'll keep them here."

[Dorkthehunter]

"Those who are ignorant towards history are doomed to repeat it"

 

That is a quote from George Santayana!(or at least he said something like that once)

Nice story btw.

Also, the story ideas on this thread don't necessarily have to be about Star Wars.

[Ghostly_Substance]

Thought I would see how good I was in story telling besides being slightly horrible in grammer.

 

Rise of a Zabrak: Witness to a bad situation:

 

Just being the crazy Zabrak I am I decided to to leave Dantooine and head to Coruscant before the CIS blockade came. I finally managed to escape the Dantari tribes harassing us and I was 8 at that time. I'm Polovnik Modravy and this name was given to me by one of the Dantari group I came across. This name means Hunter Bluish since I was able to hunt things down quicker then anybody. Bluish well........I was forced to wear blue clothing while hunting to help hide.

 

While I was in my new ship called the "Shadows-Fist" I managed to see some CIS ships. Well i'm a genious but lack some fighting skills so I was able to escape the area before they noticed me and I could not have attacked them. I reached Coruscant and rented an apartement near the Jedi Temple since it was cheap there. I would soon find out why it was cheap to live near the jedi temple later on. What a nice view though

--3 days later--

While I was settling in and bought new clothing to 'fit' in and a new weapon by my side (a CIS Rifle) I then started touring near the Jedi Temple. A wave of CIS ships came invading so I did my best to kill as many droids as I could. I ain't a good fighter but a great marksman so I was able to take out many groups of droids before Clone Troopers came into the area that I was forced to leave. I went home with 5 more weapons which I looted from the dead droids. I decided to merge the new parts with the bad parts and make a twin blaster.

 

Now this is where things became dark. I decided to tour the Senate area to only find out that there was a battle going up above. I hide once I saw 3 other jedi waiting for Mace Wind and the others. Few minutes later the window broke and  I could see 2 then 3 jedi masters in the window. One of the jedi turned towards me but then looked up at the falling Mace Windu and caught him. They ran off and gestured to me to follow them so I did and we fled Coruscant. We went to back to Dantooine and met with them every once in awhile until Mace came incontact with a dangerous Bounty Hunter Boba Fett. I managed to scar Boba Fett but got knocked out cold for three days....To be continued

[Dorkthehunter]

Three days!!! Ouch! That's got to hurt!

[Megajames]

I have finshed that basic Characters for my clone story, I can also say that it will inclued the battles of Geonosis, Kamino, Felucia, and Mygeeto

 

Characters

 

Alpha squad:

 

Name: Alpha 01:

Nickname: Viper

Speciality: Leader, stealth

Character:  Slow and careful, very tactical

Preferred weapon: DC-17

Armour description: Camouflage blending, tries to imitate surroundings. Has fresh white armour with a yellow stripe when his camouflage blending is turned off. He has a small computer on his wrist with a holo projector. He also has some advanced communication gear on his back pack

 

Name: Alpha 03:

Nickname: Pilot

Speciality: Pilot, hacker

Character: Not patient, but quite jolly

Preferred weapon: DEMP 2, EMP grenades, and any gadget he has designed

Armour description: Has plain armour with green shoulder pads, his armour is rarely washed and often covered in oil stains. His armour is covered with gadgets and gizmos for every occasion

 

Name: Alpha 90:

Nickname: Snipe

Speciality: Sniper, very accurate, stealth

Character: Easily wound up, annoyed when he makes mistakes

Preferred weapon: DC-17 sniper attachment, Tenloss disrupter rifle, and customised blaster pistol

Armour description: Camouflage blending, tries to imitate surroundings. When it is off, his armour returns to white with a light blue stripe on the helmet. He has an advanced range finder clipped onto his helmet, and extra padding on his chest plate, for when he is lying down for a long time

 

Name: Alpha 64:

Nickname: Demo

Squad part: Anti-armour, demolitions

Character: Likes to keep his distance from people and get on with the job at hand

Preferred weapon: DC-17 anti –armour attachment, or Merr sonn missile launcher

Armour description: Plate grey, very strong, designed to resist the shock wave of explosives going off near by

 

Name: Alpha 88:

Nickname: Decimator

Speciality: All round killing machine

Character: Friendly, likes to make a joke, quick and efficient at getting things done

Preferred weapon: DC-17 heavy repeater attachment

Armour description: Never washed, very thick and heavy. He has numerous spare blaster packs and grenades on his legs and arms

 

Name: Alpha 08:

Nickname: Steel

Speciality: Close combat, medic, stealth

Character: Aggressive, but protective of his squad

Preferred weapon: Vibro blade inbuilt into wrist

Armour description: Jet black all over, has a long extra vibro blade on his left thigh and medic packs on both arms, has a short ranged jet pack which was inspired by Jango fett

 

I have updated these they now include armour discription and some othere things

I will be adding more to them soon,

Edited February 7, 2006 by Megajames

[Stellar_Magic]

Well this won't be a fanfiction but... Here's Chapter 1 of a book I'm working on...

 

 

Chapter 1: Everything Changes

 

A solar sail ship, its hull scarred by weapons fire drifted through space as flames arched out of its torn plates where atmosphere escaped and crystals of ice glittered in the night as its metallic hull colored golden by the light of a nearby star slowly slid through the inky velvet of space.  Glowing balls of plasma rushed into it, burning through the hull and ripping holes in the vessel, opening chambers to space.  A solid line of blast doors along its side slowly ground open to space and the muzzles of countless guns slid out from their ports into view.  With a flash a volley of brilliant orange plasma fire shot from the guns contained within them.  Crews in fully sealed spacesuits scampered across the deck behind the doors.  Manning the enormous plasma cannons housed there, monitoring power going into the guns, and removing the spent gas canisters from the breaches often tossing them away into space.  They worked at a feverish pace to restore their guns for another barrage.  The enemy was faster.

 

Another volley of golden blasts of glowing hot plasma shot through space slamming into the side of their vessel.  Energy blazed across the gun deck as the blasts hit home.  Several guns were vaporized from the impact along with their crews.  Still the gunners hurried on readying their guns.  At one end of the gun line a fully suited deck officer lifted his arm to confirm readiness of the crews.  Twenty gunners of what had once been a company of sixty raised their arm in turn.  Radio communications had already broken down under the intense jamming of the enemy and the chaos of battle.  With a flurry the officer snapped his hand to his side.  At that moment the gunners pulled their lanyards returning fire into the night.

 

Two decks above on the bridge a man strode into the carefully controlled chaos of a ship fully engaged in combat.  He glanced to the ship’s commander in his navy blue battle dress in the command chair issuing orders to those below him. His eyes at the same time studying the holographic image of the space around them as the newcomer stepped to his side, “Admiral where do you want me and the journeyman?”

 

“Magister Baumer,” the Admiral said surprised swiveling toward him.  His mouth twisted into a thoughtful smile, “Just stand by for now.”

 

One of the officer in the crew pit turned, his hand clasped on his earphone, “Sir we’ve lost contact with the engine room.”

 

The Admiral glanced at Baumer, “Go. Use the hardwire intercoms they’ve jammed all our frequencies.”  Baumer nodded and turned to the door, “And Ernst.” He stopped and turned back to the Admiral, “Be careful.”

 

“Don’t worry Admiral,” Ernst answered and gave the admiral a half smile before he stepped through the doors which opened with a hiss.  Outside two young men turned to him, “Alright, Patrick, Joseph, let’s go.”

 

The deck quaked and sparks shot from one of the overhead conduits of power as it was severed.  Ernst lifted his deep blue hood to protect his face from the rain of stinging debris as they ran along the corridor, their footsteps ringing of the grating.  Steam hissed from one of the pipes that lined the corridor as the deck rocked again from another impact.  Crewmen ran along the corridor, hurrying by with a wounded comrade between them on a stretcher.  Ernst reached a bulkhead and pulled it open, beyond a fire raged, smoke filled the room and he pulled a small piece of wood from his pocket and flicked it at the flames, “Corbino.”  The flames died down as their heat source cooled and then froze.  Ernst clambered down the grating to the next bulkhead and pulled it open, beyond there was smoke ushering in through the grating from decks below.  The ship shuddered and creaked as another barrage hit.  Ernst was already at the next door and pulling on it, but it failed to budge.  With a sigh he ran a finger across its surface and felt ice crystals.  He touched the nearby intercom, “This is Ernst Baumer the engine room is open to space.”

 

“Roger that Ernst, it seems that’s the least of troubles right now, we just lost the dorsal solar sail,” The intercom answered.  There was a pause, “They’re firing ion pulses, we’re picking up boarding craft launching.”

 

Ernst felt his gut twist in frustration, “Where do you want us?”

 

“The boarders are heading for the forward sensor array, you’d probably be best there fending them off,” The commander answered.

 

“On our way,” Ernst answered and keyed off the comm.  He turned to the others, “Be ready for close contact.”  Ernst pulled a Pulse Pistol from inside his cloak and pulled the charging lever.

 

“Some action finally,” Joseph said as he pulled the charging lever on his pulse carbine, its three barrels spun through a check with their cooling sleeve.  Ernst glared at him, “What?”

 

Ernst shook his head.  They never understood until they’d actually fought, never, then they’d never want to be in combat again, just as he despised combat.  Ernst led them down a corridor and toward the forward sensor array.  They’d just come to the bulkhead that separated the forward sections from the command stations of the ship when it suddenly blew outward.  The hatch careened through the room hitting Patrick, the younger of the journeyman, and flung him down.  He layer there dazed with his nose broken along with several of his ribs.  Joseph startled by the suddenness of it all starred at Patrick when a pulse of sulfurous yellow light flashed into his chest dropping him forward with a painful burn across the stomach.  Ernst starred into the smoke filled corridor and saw the glow of red light followed by a pulse blast that flashed into the side of the hatch sending sparks scattering across the floor.  He lifted his pulse pistol to center on his target and fired sending a brilliant gold bolt through the smoke.  There was a yelp of pain followed by a curse in a language foreign to him, as an unseen foe clattered to the floor.

 

Through the dissipating smoke a trio of armored aliens whose faces showed gruesome scars, reptilian eyes, and smooth green skin that resembled a salamander’s more then anything else.  Below their grey steel crown shaped helmets they gnashed their teeth and snarled in another language, “Söracêre!”  Then one, the largest and ugliest hissed an order, “Rütver lêratez!” They held swords which split along the center with a hiss and red electricity arced from the separated blades along with a brilliant orange glow within the red energy field.  Then the leader turned to the others and snarled another command, “Fêren lêges.”  The orcs moved to stand side by side and lifted their pulse swords to their shoulders.  Some knelt to achieve better balance and accuracy with their arms. 

 

Ernst grimaced and ducked back behind cover as an ominous whine built up and a volley of pulse bolts soared into the corridor.  Patrick took a bolt in his chest as he struggled to stand and fell back again, dead, his chest now a charred hole.  Joseph winced as he brought his carbine to his shoulder and fired a long burst sending three bolts of golden energy into one of the aliens which jerked and fell back with a pair of smoking holes in its gleaming breastplate and a smoldering crater for a face. 

 

Ernst clambered to an intercom, “Kar’akt orcs in corridor delta four!”  He was answered by static, “Bridge, please respond.”

 

“They can’t here you,” A calm feminine voice said and Ernst slowly turned to see a woman stepping across the body of an orc, her pale face given a strange red glow from the emergency lights.  She smiled menacing before hissing, “Mördêre de qörk.”  A pair of orcs stepped forward at her command, their blast swords raised again.  Joseph struggled to charge his carbine and swung it to bear on the woman.  Its barrels suddenly began to glow a brilliant red, “Brave yes, but foolish.”  With a hiss the barrels melted into a solid hunk of metal that could no less shoot energy then a block of wood.  The orcs snarled and a pair of pulse blasts filled the corridor.  With a sigh Joseph slumped to the ground, smoke billowing from his chest. 

 

Ernst cast his eyes to down to the floor in despair and sadness.  Slowly he shook his head as the life slowly leaked out of his friend.  His mind hammered with rage and sorrow.  His thoughts ricocheted about his mind, what would you say if you knew Crystal, what would you tell our boy?  Then the despair gave way to determination, I will see him again.  Then Ernst drew his wand and pointed it toward the woman wearing the wine colored tunic, she smiled back at him and too a staff from one of the orcs, “Another brave one, so be it.”  She flicked the staff at him and Ernst saw his wand ripped free from his hand by and invisible force and fall with a clatter onto the grate floor behind him.  Ernst felt himself suddenly slammed into the deck by as if grappled there by invisible chains.  The woman laughed as he struggled in vain, “This one is suitable isn’t he, love?” 

 

Smiling she turned to an orc who held what looked like a lamp before him, its sides intricately carved with runes and symbols Ernst didn’t recognize, let alone decipher.  In its center a pulsing red globe of energy hovered.  Suddenly timing with the dim pulse a voice spoke from within the lantern, “He is indeed, you have chosen well my love.”

 

She smiled as she took the lantern, “Yes love, the Rotêre council would be most displeased with your return, many of them remember how you brought their impediments upon them.”  Slowly she lowered the lantern to the deck beside Ernst who still found himself bound there by the invisible chains. She smiled wickedly at the slightly terrified expression on his face intensified his fear, “Now everything changes love.”

 

“Yes, now everything will change, into the future we may build,” As the orb spoke the cap of the lantern hissed open and the orbs flashed out and turned toward Ernst.  As it flashed into him Ernst felt a piercing scream inside his head, his fists clenched and he saw nothing but blackness as his eyes flashed a brilliant red, then he heard the sound of a cell door being slammed shut, and heard no more.

[Megajames]

Thats really good, contiune it

[Stellar_Magic]

Don't worry, maybe you could pick up at a book store in a couple years...  ;D I'm on the fourth draft for it right now and have already got two sequels in production.  Its around 400 pages long at the moment. 

[Ghostly_Substance]

Don't worry, maybe you could pick up at a book store in a couple years...  ;D I'm on the fourth draft for it right now and have already got two sequels in production.  Its around 400 pages long at the moment. 

 

Damn and I cant even finish the book called "Alive" since its so huge.

[Darth Noob]

hey can one of u guys read my fan fiction a dark jedi please hey nice story.

[kingdark]

http://www.getphpbb.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=47&mforum=rsa

here is my story hope you like it

[Lord Rendar]

I have a huge update on my Crusades! story. Check it out.

 

Also, one of my story ideas:

 

Long ago, a wise old sage prophesized on his death bed, about the future of the world of Maron: "Once an Outlander sits on the throne of Tyron, all of Maron will be thrust into a darkness that can only be lifted by another Outlander."

  The people of Maron were drived to stop the prophesy. Soon after he had said the prophesy, the old sage died, and the lord of Maronm took it upon themselves to stop the prophesy. One of the most powerful and richest families in all of Maron was the Outlander familty. They had long been the lords of the kingdom of Savlia and had built great fortresses in their kingdom. The prophesy led to a great distress among the people of Salvia, which had enough strength to maybe even turn into revolution. The rival kingdoms of Tyron and Isarr prepared for the inevitable war against Savlia. King Horgon of Savlia tried to hold his kingdom together. He declared war on Tyron, hoping that his people would unite against a common enemy. King Laurence of Tyron declared that Horgon was evil and was trying to fulfill the prophesy and rule all Maron. He called for everyone to rise in arms and destroy Savlia and the Outlanders. His words provoked many nobles of Savlia to revolution in order to take power. Without the nobles to help him, King Horgon's army was greatly decreased in numbers. But not all of the nobles revolted, the king still had allies. Lord Hamar and Prince Esphalus were two nobles that kept their oaths to the king, and would keep them to the death. Lord Hamar was the second most powerful noble, but the most powerful one, Lord Parmeí, had abondoned the king. He used to be a knight of Tyron, but had since become a lord of King Horgon, and seemingly left all loyalty to King Laurence behind him. But he was one of the most brillant tactical minds in all of Maron, and deep down was deeply loyal to Tyron, and would now fulfill his oaths to King Laurence. Prince Horgain, the younger son of Horgon, gathered his supporters, and pledged to fight with King Laurence of Tyron against his father, as long as the throne of Salvia was his after they won. King Laurence agreed, but had plans to get rid of the prince after he had surved his purpose. And so began the greatest war in the history of Maron...

[Megajames]

Huge update on my story:

http://pff.swrebellion.com/index.php?topic=2306.0

[Megajames]

Wow, I like that story idea, I will comment more later, got to go to football

[LtKage]

Hey all, I thought that id post this here and point you towards my first attempt(http://pff.swrebellion.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=15ask5iu07rkhkjessjq1icgm6%3btopic=2675.msg39730#msg39730). It is a Starwars story, and based on my toon from Star Wars Galaxies. His name is Chonas Larkin, and i played him for two years before the massive NERF bat of a CU (combat upgrade) and the rest of the attempts to fix something that wasn't broken.

My best times in the game was as a creature handler, and actually spending 3 days real time looking for Sludge panthers. Taming them, watching them grow and falling in love with my two kitty kats "Fire" and "Brimstone" We had many, many adventures together but this one is just of the top of my head. I'm sure i will incorporate alot of my experience's with fire and brimstone into my story. I hope you enjoy, and any/all feedback is welcome.

 

Kage

[Dorkthehunter]

I think it is a good idea, so I will comment on the thread you made for it soon.

 

Btw, could someone please post some feedback on my Prophesy story a couple of posts above this one?

[Anethos]

Sorry about how unorganized it is I apologize for that. Edited December 22, 2007 by Anethos

[Anethos]

Dark Bringing                                                                              All things bear the mark of purpose with purpose comes conflict and they inevitably, drown each other.  Armageddon of earth made humans take to the space, and named themselves the “Vexet  Armada”.The vexins has not seen much war, there origin has been a blind spot to many. Su'tarins a race that had become powerful with time, spread far across the “Playten Galaxy”. They colonized and employed deception to become a  power. The su'tarins were fighting a losing war with their races distant cousin. The “Branki” a race that branched off the evolutionary strain of the sut'arins. The “Branki” are a barbaric race holding onto a new found tribal religions, they are not as intellectually superior then their cousin race. They possess strength and overwhelming numbers, much war has began to spread like a plague between the two. New beings have slipped into existence a race enslaved by a devil. They are called the “Sins” they obied to the will of the planet eater “Daymos”. They are a young race and naive is also  another word that describes them. A new form of meaning, a being that coincides with machine and organics a perfect merge of the two. The planet eater is cowardly and hides behind his pawns, when they have acted mass genocide of the planet. When life has been striped away he envelopes his body around the planet, his core creates a mass pull sucking the planet in. His race are recyclers they take what is left behind of the race and of the planet and create new life manipulated by the Sins creator “Daymos”.                                        The Vexet Armada have stumbled into the “Playten Galaxy” and they are close to a su'tarin planet “Irak'nus” such a massive space fleet so close to the planet. Is untrusting to the eyes cloaked probes lay surrounded across the fleet spying. It's lens zooms in closer, the su'tarin charges began to consort with one another and started typing on their screen embedded chair, transmitting their findings to “Verin” a high statued officer. Verin began to hear his communicator beep !beep !beep ! verin walked to the other half of his personal quarters to his chair's screen. Pressed the brightly lilted up buttons till visual of a rough, tusked shape began to appear then began uttering words “ charge 1-B reporting” verin replied “what is this about?” charge immediately followed the conversation “Sir there  is unidentified crafts residing over Irak'nus”. Verin quickly as the charge spoke those words jumped to a conclusion that “Branki” are preparing to attack. He said to the charge “Engage proticall and prepare my ship!” the charge nervous of the situation began to act proticall then singled stationary guard. He also gave orders to the colony's quarter men to prepare the seermen bra'goda it would be the knife driven deep into the enemies heart. Verin ran quickly to the ships master chair and then saw himself in its commanding quarters his crew already deep in work. His long red eyes peering threw the ships shining frontal  windows, then spoke to the his crew surrounding him “Take us out!”. Number 12-c spoke to him “We are now in the designated area that the stationary guard gave us coordinates to”.                                    Verin soon replied “ Good tell me what is the branki fleet doing?” 12-c speaking once again “Sir there just sitting there”. Verin thinking in his mind why haven't they attack us already? They have had more then enough opportunity to. Verin stares at his green three fingered hand and thinks over the situation he sees that the opposing force outnumbers them greatly. Then he finds that they have not yet detected our presence he sees one of the long cylindered ship bumps into a probe damaging it enough to cause a small explosion. Taking this as a perfect opportunity, uncloaked every ship that was in his jurisdiction and then a fully analyzed schematic came onto his command chairs screen. It identified it, and then stated it is not of Branki design the vexet fleet then turned on shields and charged up weapons. The vexet housing fleet so taken d  by the sut'arins went on the defensive. The sut'arins fleet commander  verin made audio contact with the vexet leader “Locus” laying in his chair twirling his curly braided hair a bad habit he could never drop. He hears on the loud speaker in the the control room “ You are trespassing on charted air space identify yourself!”.                                                                        The vexet commander in pressed by the star ships compatibilities became greedy he decided to assimilate some of their technology for their cause. He replied thirstily “We are the vexet armada, alien and who is this?” Verin said replying to what Locus spoke “ Sut'arins, now what is your purpose?” the vexin obnoxiously spoke “ Were just passing threw and hey since your here want a beer? Verin unfamiliar with this beer he spoke off scratched his large curvy head and asked “is that some sort of joke”? Locus laughing deep into the Mic spoke “ Yeah it's a joke, now heres our agenda were going to hold you all hostage and well, your going to stand down!” The sut'arin ship charge outraged at his behavior then decided to make amends” If this is no true fight here then there is no need for conflict”.  Locus ignoring verin and thinking in his head such peace loving aliens should be a piece of cake, then  gave the signal to attack . Missiles began jetting out of every or face of the ship destroying dozens of sut'arin fighters. Locus pleased at the many lives being lost, verin quickly acting said to the entire fleet. “All ships Retaliate!” then a huge battle begun to break out of control. Vexet dweller ships blowing sut'arin fighters up with great accuracy and malice to show their merciless nature. The vexet commander's goal was to destroy all ships opposing them but to take verins seermen bra'goda, all other ships were irrelevant to him.                                                                                  One after the other, sut'arins ships were blowing up like a array of sparklers. The seermen bra'goda's weapons jetted a beam of energy at two separate targets, two vexet dweller ships then went up in a huge domino effect. Locus frustrated at the ships impenetrable shields told all of his neighboring vexet ships to focus all fire on the seermen bra'goda. They began to act his orders out, after finishing off the rest of the sut'arin stationary guard. The visual of thousands of guns swerving towards them taking their aim upon the one ship. The ship charge verin said to his crew working hard in the command quarters said to engage silver shards. The vexet leader then shouted with overwhelming confidence “Fire!”. A scatted homing of missiles then blew a mass smoke screen around the intended target. Then, flu out the screen with great speed came the seermen bra'goda shining with a silver metallic glow. Vexet vessels Guns firing ablaze at the seermen bra'goda, and having no effect. Locus showing his chinks in his ego shouted to his crew “Why are they not? DEAD!”. Displeased that he has to ground capturing the the technological marvel he had set his sights on. He thinks it is impossible at the moment for these are not even military graded ships and they are unequipped for the current situation. He then decided to take a tactical retreat he See's that he only took minimal loses. Something he could pass as a raid by common criminals their would be no need for suspicion. Verin hoping he would buy his bluff, because acting the silver shards program made weapons compatibilities useless.                                                                              The cloak shrouds the entire outer layer making the perfect defense he did it to avoid the destruction of the ship or su'tarin secrets being leaked into the enemies hands. Verin peering at the vexein vessels his eyes showing him of their actions, they were using a worm hole to cover their tracks. He thought to himself buried in thought, he took a glance at the windows staring threw the smudged glass. Then he spotted wreckage and debris of both sides ships and floating disfigured bodies. Blinking twice at the symbol of sut'arins pride on a broken wing it almost seemed to be lost.                                                                            He didn't know what to tell the Embodiments only knew that they would enlighten his and all their paths. After he accessed the problems the charges uttered, he was to take a speeder to their home world Tare'n and report what had taken place to the “Embodiments”. He had arrived and appeared in the embodiments holy temple, he sprinted to the main quarters were he was to report what just happened at the Irak'nus colony. He finally found himself in the presence of the six embodiments, he spoke first “I come before you to seek your guidance and your divine wisdom”. Therion gave a immediate response “Young verin, you reported your findings and we have looked them over, and we find it all to be disappointing”. Lathos second embodiment on the right of therion began to take his place in the conversation. He stood up tall and mumbled these words “We are not blind to it they have taken the stage now” verin in a daze of confusion “They use to call themselves human beings seeds of chaos have sprouted in them clouding what they could become”. He took a pause and then continued speaking “We protected them as much as we could they showed promise as a race”. Lathos then proceeded to carry on the conversation “They are now playing a role now one of many in a great conflict we will all see soon”. Therion then took on the conversation “That time is soon, what is to come no preparations can be made.” Then verin replied “Thank you for the light you have given me, the path then becomes clear”.