Mad78 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 i shall post a limerick There was an old man from LeedsWho swallowed a packet of seedsTuffs of grass Shot out of his assAnd his cock was covered in weeds http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 20, 2006 Author Share Posted January 20, 2006 eww... A cop is driving around late at night when he comes upon a car occupied by two teenagers. He pulls over to the car and knocks on the door. A young man of about 20 clamly opens the door and asks the cop what he wants. The cop asks him to state his age and the young man says, "I'm twenty years old." He looks to the back seat where an attractive young woman is reading a magazine and asks her to do the same. She glances at the clock which reads 11:55 and says, "Well, officer, in five minutes I'll be eighteen." 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Not the Nine o'clock news (an english show) had a sketch pretty much like that. http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 21, 2006 Author Share Posted January 21, 2006 Sounds like SNL. Is it on BBC? 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scathane Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Here is one for Scath:A panda enters a cafe.He eats shoots and leaves.Outside he is arrested.Why? That one's simple: he shot inside the cafe... Consider this one: A thief wants to get inside a castle but, due to a large moat around the entire structure, there's only one way in: through the main gate. However, this gate is guarded by a rather bulkish guard with a large sword, whom he's never going to get passed. The thief therefore decides to hide in a bush near the gate, so that he can learn from the way other people get in. He's been waiting for just a short while when this woman comes up to the guard. The guard yells at her: "Six?!"Apparently, this is code language, because she replies "Three." and is allowed to pass. The thief thinks the code rather simple but decides to wait for another person. This time a man comes up to the guard....Guard: "Twelve?!"Man: "Six."And the man is allowed to pass as well. Now the thief is sure about the simplicity of the code, so he crawls from under the bush and walks up to the guard: "Eight?!"The thief chuckles and answers: "Four."The guard then draws his sword and hacks the thief's head off... Now, what should the thief have answered? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 HArd one to which I have not got an answer. But here is another tricky oneA man is outside a hut which has no windows and one lightbulb inside. Outside are three switches. He must find which turns the light on and is only allowed to enter once to check. How does he proceed. Now for a joke:A young man is invited to a club by his grand farther and when he gets there hw discovfers that all the men know jokes so well that they just say the number of the joke.ONe old man: 26THe whole house laughsAnother old man: 56more laughs Finally the young man picks up his courage and says: 18total silenceYoung man: What? Isn't the joke funny?An old man: It's not the joke! Its the way you say it! http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 21, 2006 Author Share Posted January 21, 2006 I heard that one once, except supposedly its the new guy in prison. Picked it up in Cuba off a couple of Navy guys... As for your riddle, why doesn't the old man go outside, flip all of the light switches and go back in? Or else hotwire the lights? ... I got nothing joke-wise. You have all exhausted my store to the point of pitiful 'why did the chicken cross the road' jokes... Though here's one with a good pun: What is the name of a junkyard run by a Greek dog? Edipus Wrecks! *Burtsts out laughing and rolls about on the floor* 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Though here's one with a good pun: What is the name of a junkyard run by a Greek dog? Edipus Wrecks! *Burtsts out laughing and rolls about on the floor*I don't get it. http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 22, 2006 Author Share Posted January 22, 2006 Edipus Rex? It was a Greek classic. I can't believe you haven't had to read it for an English class yet! Mind you I only know about it because my older siblings both had to and I had to learn about it in Greek culture for World History, but still... Its a play on words. Edipus is the dog and wrecks is like Rex which is also a dogs name. 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 23, 2006 Author Share Posted January 23, 2006 Alrighty, then. To bring this back, I have some poetry by Ogden Nash: Love under the Republicans (Or Democrats)Come live with me and be my love And we will all the pleasures proveOf a marriage conducted with economyIn the Twentieth Century Anno Donomy.We'll live in a dear little walk-up flatWith practical room to swing a catAnd a potted cactus to give it hauterAnd a bathtub equipped with dark brown water.We'll eat, without undue discouragementFoods low in cost but high in nouragmentAmd quaff wth pleasure, whle chatting whittily,The peculiar wine of Little Italy.We'll remind each other it's smart to be thriftyAnd buy our clothes for something-fifty.We'll stand in line on holidaysFor seat at unpopular matinees,And every Sunday we'll have a larkAnd take a walk in Central Park.And one of these days not too remoteI'll probably up and cut your throat Ah... Gotta hate poetry, Gotta love Ogden nash... 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scathane Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 (edited) HArd one to which I have not got an answer. Aw, come on, Mad! That's giving up quite easily when the answer is right there in the riddle... If you read it properly, you will find the answer... But here is another tricky oneA man is outside a hut which has no windows and one lightbulb inside. Outside are three switches. He must find which turns the light on and is only allowed to enter once to check. How does he proceed. Simple... He turns one lightswitch, leaves it for a few seconds and then switches it off. He then throws on the second lightswitch and leaves it on. After that it goes in: If the first switch is the right one, the bulb would be off and warm.If it's the second switch, the light would be on.If the thrid switch is the right one, the bulb is off and cold. No go finish my riddle! Edited January 31, 2006 by Scathane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Nice to see that I' not the only one who posts drunk. Shouldn't he have answered Twelve Scath? http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scathane Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Nice to see that I' not the only one who posts drunk. Alas but I had to delete it... Shouldn't he have answered Twelve Scath?No... How did you come to this answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 guard: sixother: threeguard: twelve other: sixThe question becomes the answer of the following question. http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 23, 2006 Author Share Posted January 23, 2006 Wha? id I miss something that got deleted? 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 You missed BS's drunken post. http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 23, 2006 Author Share Posted January 23, 2006 Its always fun to point and laugh at drunk people. In essense and clean english what did it say? 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 Never really succeeded in understanding. http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitth_raw_nuruodo Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 guard: sixother: threeguard: twelve other: sixThe question becomes the answer of the following question. I'd guess you're overanalyzing, but then I would've recieved the same fate as the thief..... Chaos, Panic, Disorder, Destruction.....My work here is done. Grand AKmiralCommander-in-Chief of BEAK Forces(CINCBEAK) BEAK Imperium"To BEAK is Divine!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTofu Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 WTF IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?1/1/1/1/1/1/*Begins to breath heavily from screaming*EEH UHH EEH UHH EEH UHH!!!!!!1 Now can someone please tell me what the riddle is, here? 12/14/07Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la Not gone, merely marching far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadSamaritan Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Nice to see that I' not the only one who posts drunk. Alas but I had to delete it... Oh come on, it wasn't that bad. I even toned it down for the site. And I think the answer is five, but I'm probably wrong. I once knew a great man. Nothing got to him, and he always smiled. May he forever rest in peace, knowing fully well that his freinds shall remember him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scathane Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 guard: sixother: threeguard: twelve other: sixThe question becomes the answer of the following question. Nice try! If this were the solution, I would have had to list at least two more people approaching the guard. The solution is in the riddle... In essense and clean english what did it say? He started out by making an ethnic joke, went on with mumbling something about not making ethnic jokes and then went on to say that he wouldn't blame anyone for deleting his post. Since there were ethnic nicknames in the post, I obliged him on the last count. Now can someone please tell me what the riddle is, here? The riddle is here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Were the man and the woman the king and queen of the castle? http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scathane Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Were the man and the woman the king and queen of the castle? No... When I say that the solution is in the riddle, I mean it's actually in the riddle. So, since neither king nor queen was mentioned, they cannot possibly be part of the solution. Moreover, my question was What should the thief have answered? So, you can concluded that:1. The thief could have given an anwer that would have provided him access to the castle.2. The thief could have figured out the solution from the two previous codeword dialogues only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad78 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I don't know. My head hurts. http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Palpycard.gifhttp://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a359/Mad78/Spamkinguserbarcopy.jpgCLICK HERE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!Click here is you like Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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