Randomness III

[Darth_Rob]

I love the Count one!

 

The news today was that next week I am off to do the physical tests for the Military service.

 

Is that mandatory of all citizens over in Chocolate Land at some point?

[Mad78]

Yup. For all male swiss citizens. Except if you are a concienscious objector in which case you will have to do Civil Service or if you are declared inapt. In that case either you are still capable of doing Civil protection or you will skip Military service but have to pay a military tax.

[Sinister]

I found out earlier today that I'm going to be a father sometime next year.

 

My wife and I are very excited.

[Darth_Rob]

I found out earlier today that I'm going to be a father sometime next year.

 

My wife and I are very excited.

 

Congrats dude! Thats awesome news!!!

[DarthTofu]

Way to go! Who's the fath- I mean, congratulations! (I'm kidding! Please put the golf club down!)

[Mad78]

Congratulations! When is it due?

[DarthTofu]

Ukrainian Polka... of Hot and Cold.

[Evaders99]

Stolen from somewhere else...

 

 

*WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING*

 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and

preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like

most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the

following letter from the local Target.

 

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

 

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in

our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban

both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr.

Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance

cameras.

 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away". This caused the employee

to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her

Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing

management to lose time and costing the company money.

 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.

 

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and

blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were

called.

 

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.

 

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he

asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming

the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'

by using different sizes of funnels.

 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

 

And last, but not least:

 

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here' One of

the clerks passed out.

[Krytos]

Congrats Sinister! Thought of what names you might use for the little one?

 

AWESOME! - Lego matrix

 

EDIT: Haha! Loved that E, brilliant!

[Evaders99]

Cool - though I was hoping they did the entire movie in Lego!

[DarthTofu]

Amusing though it is, I call shennanigans on your post; I contend that that was written from a list of "Ways to get kicked out of Walmart" list.

[Mad78]

Finally got back for the army enrollement.

In march i will be leaving to act as troops medic as well as armored ambulance driver.

[Darth_Rob]

Did they give you the Super Soldier Serum?

[DarthTofu]

They're giving you the keys to a vehicle that's designed to be shot at without exploding?

 

... what have they been putting in the chocolate of late, and how illegal is it?

[Mad78]

Sadly i will not be injected with Super Soldier serum

But i do get nicely paid for the 4 months I'm there.

 

I think its about 2,5 months of basic trainingand then the rest is working on the function you were assigned to. For me, driving one of these.

[Darth_Rob]

Thats a pretty sweet ride!

[Evaders99]

NAO does Star Wars - robot playing a robot, fun

TIE Bomber in 3D gestures

[Evaders99]

http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v354/19/77/672931081/n672931081_1463282_862.jpg

 

LOL

[Darth_Rob]

Wow, that is so stupid yet so awesome!

[Mad78]

I didn't know Ackbar had reconvereted himself. That is awesome!

[Darth_Rob]

Not sure if this is new or not, but I just Stumbled it.

[Krytos]

Star Wars - the A-Team

[DarthTofu]

Appeasement

 

Quite possibly the funniest thing ever.

[Darth_Rob]

Star Wars Weather

[DarthTofu]

Well, I suppose that makes finding out that it's presently two degrees C in my college town a bit less aggravating...