Christmas Songs for the Psychiactrically Challenged

[DarthTofu]

I'll say this before I put the post up: I'm not trying to make fun of anyone with any mental diseases. This is meant to be funny, but not insulting or stereotypical in any way, shape, or form. With that off my back, here are the songs:

CHRISTMAS SONGS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

 

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

 

Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas

 

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

 

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores

and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire

Hydrants and ...

 

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

 

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Yours Truly Roasting on an Open Fire

 

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna

Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

Bells ...

 

Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My

House

 

Autistic --- Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock ...

 

Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My

Slippers and Robe

 

Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

 

Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

 

 

ADHD--- Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree- Hey cool a butterly! Climb the branches on that tree to catch it! Ow! Sharp ornaments! OW!

 

Happy holidays, folks

[Mad78]

You are a character Tofu.

[DarthTofu]

You are a character Tofu.

 

Just wait... Some day I'm going to record a CD with every single one of those songs on it... And find a way to hack the site so that it plays the music with lyrics using two-bit mono- PC internal sound which you are incapable of removing the speakers from! ... Just as soon as I finish reading all of the "For Dummies" books on computer science .

[Mad78]

Just download audacity and record using your pc.

[Defender_16]

*Screams*

 

Mad you wern't supposed to tell him him how to actually do any of it!

 

We're all doomed now! DOOMED!!!!

[AdmiralToguroAni]

Oh I've gotta watch out,

I've gotta go hide

Gotta whisper, not shout, I'll tell you why

Santa Claus is coming for me.

 

He's packing some heat

sharpening knives

Gonna shoot my kneecaps and stab out my eyes

Santa Claus is coming for me.

 

He prob'ly saw me sneaking

that gum out of the store

He put me on his naughty list

Now he wants my blood and gore

 

OH

 

Oh I've gotta watch out,

I've gotta go hide

Gotta whisper, not shout, I'll tell you why

Santa Claus is coming for me.

[Darth_Rob]

That was great!

[DarthTofu]

lol. I used to know one that went to "Here comes Santa Clause" that ended with "Heads are flying, kids are dying, things aren't lookin' bright! So lock oyur doors and say your prayers 'cause Santa Clause is comin' tonight!"...Yeah, weak, I know.

[Evaders99]

I prefer the Futurama version: "Santa Claus is gunning you down"

[Stellar_Magic]

Wierd Al Yankovic beat you guys to the punch...

 

Christmas at Ground Zero

 

It's Christmas at ground zero

There's music in the air.

The sleigh bells are ringing

And the carolers are singing

As the air raid sirens blare.

 

It’s Christmas at ground zero

The button has been pressed

The radio just let us know

That this is not a test

 

Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping

It’s the end of all humanity

No more time for last minute shopping

It’s time to face your final destiny

 

It’s Christmas at ground zero

There’s panic in the crowd

We can dodge debris

While we trim the tree

Underneath the mushroom cloud

 

You might here some reindeer on your rooftop

Or Jack Frost on your window sill

But if someone is climbing down your chimney

You’d better load your gun and shoot to kill

 

It’s Christmas at ground zero

And if the radiation level’s okay

I’ll go out with you

And see all the new mutations

On new years day

 

It’s Christmas at ground zero

Just seconds left to go

I’ll duck and cover

With my Yule tied leather

Underneath the mistletoe

 

It’s Christmas at ground zero

Now the missiles are on their way

What a crazy fluke

We’re gonna get nuked

On this jolly holiday

 

What a crazy fluke

We’re gonna get nuked

On this jolly holiday

 

The Night Santa Went Crazy

 

Down in the workshop all the Elves are makin' toys

For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys

When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death

Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots he was all covered in ammo

Like a big fat disgruntled Yuletide Rambo

And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,

“Merry Christmas to all – now you’re all gonna die!â€

[Defender_16]

Ever seen the Anime Music Video set to that song? It's got tons of scenes from Macross/Robotech and finishes up with the biggest Orbital Bombardment I've ever seen.

[Stellar_Magic]

Unfortunately... no I haven't seen that music video. I did see the other one (The black and white one made by splicing together tons of stock footage from films).

[DarthTofu]

That second one was great. I had already heard the first one on CD (in addition to the Jurrassic Park song- classic. Just like "I'm fat! I'm fat! I'm really, really fat! My shadow weighs... Over 45 pounds... when I go out to the beach I'm the only one who gets a tan because I'm fat! Fat! I'm really, really fat"... Ah, gotta love weird Al...)